The only death I truly accepted and understood the infinite journey was my grandfather’s death. Although I was only six, I was blessed to be in a family that was open about life and death; my grandmother being a midwife, talked often of the births she assisted and it did not take away my youth as so many of my Anglo-Saxon raised peers felt…French Canadians kept many European mores I think. And so I remember going to hospital to await the news the doctors would pronounce of the impending fate of my GrandPapa. We often sat by his bedside holding his hand daily for a year, as I lived with my grandparents that year. My sister and I saw the priest perform his last rites, Extreme Unction and his last smile at me surrounded by his children the day he passed.
So for me, finite meant my favourite person had an expiry date to his suffering; he would be in a place where there is no pain, where he could run freely …and yes, I believed this and to some extent still do.
At my age, I have lost many relatives and friends to death and more recently a friend and colleague for whom I have shared a series of haiku; unfortunately there are many I have not quite accepted…sudden deaths, people too far for me to go to their service are mostly the people I still struggle to accept and sometimes I feel it was all a dream and they are still here.
How often I wanted to dial the number of my friend, Janet, who died suddenly when I was far away. The only person who read my mind, felt my emotions; our signal to chat after midnight…one ring…we both knew was the other who wished to talk until dawn. I still don’t accept the infinite passing of this friend.
(American Sentence)
Grandpapa, tu es toujours près de moi, dans mon cœur, ombrant mon âme.
(haiku)
humble corps affaibli
enfin libéré
douleur fini
âme pétillant
pure et infini
les cieux attendent
yeux brillants
plonge dans l’éclat céleste
lumière blanche
lumière blanche
le séduit à l’éther
infinité
infinité
âme sans âge baigna
grâce devin
~
weary body
humble and finite
pain-free at last
soul lives on
infinite and pure
heavens await
iridescence
eyes dip in hallowed glow
white light
white light
seduced to the ether
infinite
infinite
ageless soul bathes
celestial grace
© Tournesol ’14
Tournesol dans un Jardin 
To be able to welcome death as an old friend and an end to suffering is so much more than anything.. so much better than those sudden unfair deaths…
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This is true…it the sudden deaths we hold on to the impossible and not accepting or suicides…how can one recover from that?
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Oh my goodness–this is Beyond Beautiful. My heart is so hushed.
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Thank you, so much:)
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No, I’m not sure that we ever do accept the sudden deaths ….
Beautifully written.
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Thank you, Jen.
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Beautiful tribute and acceptance!
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What a fortunate man to have had such a grand-daughter. Beautiful homage, well done.
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I did not fall far from his tree then 🙂
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This is a very beautiful post … and I can understand not being able to accept sudden death … it’s hard to accept. But the serenity of your haibun is lovely and your haiku fantastic.
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Thank you so much Cara. Death seems to surround me…the prompts, my nightmares and the past 12 hours …
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So sorry to hear your mother is having a bad moment … death surrounds us all, but it seems some people never notice it … hugs dear girl …
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She passed just after midnight. Im so relieved I was here.
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I’m so sorry dear, I wish I could be near you. Hugs and know you’re in my thoughts in this sad moment …
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The one good thing (and maybe the only good thing) that we can say about death is that it is the end of pain and suffering. Rest in peace, grandpapa.
Timekeeper
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Indeed, we know what it ends, unsure what it begins.
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It can be very hard to accept someone’s death even when you know that they aren’t gone forever, because you have to accept that you can’t talk with them whenever you want. Well, you can talk to them, but you it’s harder to hear their response and that disconnect is hard on a person no matter their age.
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So true Martha.
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You were really inspired by this prompt. What a wonderful series of haiku.
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