For years she prided herself with reading and watching the news all over the world. Then, 9/11 happened. It felt just too close to home. How could she continue practicing her profession and remaining genuine in her words and in her voice if she was, herself, alarmed at times?
And so she cut out many forms of media only limiting news when she sought it in cyberspace. This way she could make more room for her mind to think rather than be drawn into areas not of her choice.
Television was then cut out altogether and and writing emptied her mind of distracting thoughts until she learned to pray and meditate. Chanting her mantra allowed her to shut out distracting thoughts…travelling more alone…walks in nature alone…allowed her to take those first baby steps into “being”. She felt less alone in her solitude than in crowds of people. Now if only, she could sing as beautifully as those angelic youthful voices in a choir…
A troiku is a new haiku form created by our host, Chèvrefeuille. I often write a tanka and take a step back for a moment or two and sometimes, convert it into a troiku.
This was my original tanka.
hopelessly waiting
sitting under the maple tree
looking for a sign
butterfly seeking nectar
oh, sweet melancholy!
Inspired by this waka by princess Kagami ; (7th century): This “waka” was written in response on a sedoka written by her younger sister Princess Nukada, the most famous female poet of her time.
Even a breeze may fail me
When I desire it.
Little I should grieve,
If only, sure of its coming,
I could await even a breeze.
The story Chèvrefeuille shares with us about the hermit reminds me of a personal story:
Years ago I learned this mantra reading Awakening the Buddha Within by Lama Surya Das, I practiced repeating this mantra for several months carrying with me the meaning of each word in a little notebook. This book allowed me to understand what is meant by “embracing your suffering” and it allowed me to accept and see a purpose to the pain was experiencing at the time…the lessons I was to learn.
I think we all learn differently and in stages unique to our own personal pace and styles. Three years ago I started again on my spiritual journey, first with writing which brought me closer to the Great Spirit and then meeting Amma who has simply opened my heart even more to God.
I wanted to share a story a friend of mine shared with me. I had told her that I felt uncomfortable chanting the lovely songs at my first retreat but loved to hum along and she said, she had shared her own concerns about this years ago with Amma. Amma told her, that a young child may sing and certainly does not always pronounce the works correctly but his heart is in the chanting and that is what counts. That encouraged me to continue singing with my heart (the Lord knows I do not have a singing voice) but I continue to chant my personal mantra as well as others that move me.
To read more on this mantra click here at Dharma Haven.