Colombe (Bette) Daudelin June 22, 1926-Dec. 2, 2014
Dear Mom,,
I think of you when I walk through a mall and get a whiff of your scent which sends me back in time…I want to follow the scent without feeling like a stalker…aw, how you are missed!
Today I shared with a colleague/friend where you got your nickname of Bette. I must send her a photo to show how much you did look like Bette Davis. And you will never guess what! At lunchtime, I watched an old Johnny Carson clip and Bette Davis was his guest!! The Great Spirit sure works in mysterious ways.
Colombe (Bette) Daudelin
Wish you could see my kids now and how they’ve become amazing adults and parents. You left knowing only one grandson who is now 21…a handsome young man. Your granddaughter is looking more and more like you. She had a beautiful wedding two years ago with a dress you would have chosen for sure! It was very 1950’s glam!
Oh how you’d love your grandson’s wife; they brought a photo of you for their wedding which they placed on a small altar on the beach. During the ceremony the wind flew the picture to the ground. We all laughed feeling your presence.
You would love his wife. She is so much like you…loves designer clothes and high end fragrances. She even talks like you! They now have two beautiful children…yes, a girl who is five and a boy who is three. You would probably pinch their cheeks at least once and I could easily see you on the floor playing with them.
Thinking of you so much today, Mom…the last day I spent with you and just passed midnight tonight will be 11 years you have left this earth but never our hearts. Love you so much!
Miss you always Even when you pinch my cheeks Until the next time See you where we’ll laugh and dance Jitterbug and rock’n roll
I hope people had a lovely Mother’s Day yesterday but mostly that those who may have found it overwhelming that they took care of themselves. It was nice and sunny Saturday here but Sunday was grey and sometimes that can influence our moods.
You know how we (humans) seem to focus on the “not so happy” feelings sometimes and not the joys we do have? Well, I woke up with the latter Sunday morning. For days I have been missing my mom…a lot. I know it may seem silly because if she were alive she would be 97 and I was so lucky to have her in my life as long as I did, but still…she’s my mom! So I guess my mood was grey like the clouds and had a good cry. It`s amazing how cathertic that can be…it actually gave room for positive feelings.
I was plannning my day in my mind…feed the bff’s (best feline friends), have a cup of java, exercise toes and feet (I’ve been working on my mobility these days with sore feet) and I was planning later to take the bus to the florist 5 stops from here, get a nice bouquet for my mom, then walk to a different bus stop to go to the cemetery. I was actually surprised to see that this florist was so close to my place. I could walk on normal days but the feet need TLC these days.
After putting in my toe separators for a 10mins exercise, my phone rings. I can see it is my son and when I answer I hear Lara my 3.5 yr old grand-daughter…”NANA!!!!” Hmm, I guess it is not a phone call but a video call again…after fidgetting clumsily with my phone I see that adorable face and Shirley Temple curls smiling at me, asking me in French “As-tu fait un beau dodo, Nana?” [did you have a nice sleep?]
They wished me “Bonne Fête des Mamans!” and asked me what my plans were. I mentioned just going to the florist to pick up flowers for Nanny and they asked to come with me. Well, that sure tickled my spirits!
They arrived with a lovely surpsise… a huge hanging basket of flowers and plants for my balcony.
We went to the florist and then to the cemetery which was crowded..always is on Mother’s Day…I must go back alone on my mom’s birithday in June so we can have a nice quiet conversation…
It was cute to see Lara…I told her it was a park for older folks, not a play park but it was very pretty and peaceful. It really is a nice place…there is nice pond with flowers and shrubs and benches around the pond. I especially love the weeping willows. I have written a few poems sitting there and even made some greeting cards from the photos (without saying where the beautiful image is from…some people cringe at the word ‘cemetery’).
We explained to Lara to not walk on the plaques on the ground with words on it, so she would ask me to read some of them all the way to my mom’s spot.
three generations honouring their matriarch Mother`s Day field-trip
I remember my kids telling me when they would stay at my mom’s for a few days, she would have a picnic at the cemetery where several departed family members were resting. I only heard about this when I saw some photos from my mom’s album when she passed.
Mom had a way of visiting her dad and siblings and later her mom and made it a fun day…a visit rather than a sad day. I like that. At the time I did not see it as positive but a bit gruesome. I get it now especially seeing Lara’s smiling face. Yes, I think if she spends time here I may take the bus with her to go there…taking the bus is a treat too for little ones who are used to being driven everywhere. My grandson loved our trips to the city by bus and Métro.
We went back to their home for a fun visit at the park and then a nice dinner.
hear the music squeals and giggles toddlers on the swing
After dinner Lara sat next to me with a book she wanted me to read and Gabriel sat on the other side. I had never read this one before. As I read, I could feel both children huddle closer to me and looking up at my face as I acted out a lot of the words. Their mom laughed saying I looked as excited as the children were reading it. I actually was…I love discovering new children’s stories. I also like making up children’s stories.
I had such a lovely day and slept like a baby last night.
Tomorrow I will be having a belated Mother’s Day dinner with my daughter. What a full week filled with love.
My heart is swelling so much I feel it against my chest.
Today we celebrated National Indigenous Peoples Day which also falls on summer solstice. All day an the beginning of summer, the end of the school here in Quebec and the birth of her mother. On June 22nd, 1926, a lovely, smiling baby girl was born…she had curly locks and a contagious laugh. She brought joy to so many people and loved her children and grandchildren/great grandchildren more than life itself. And that says a lot. She had two open heart surgeries and 3 other heart procedures…she fought so hard to live. Where did she get the courage and strength? Surely her unrelenting faith as well as her love for her family. It is appropriate that she started her journey into this world during the summer solstice…the sun was her best friend. Oh how she loved its glow and warmth!
She is missed but today her memory brings joy. Bonne Anniversaire, Colombe….Happy Birthday, Mom/Nanny.
Open your heart
letting in joy
Scent of sweet lilacs
Open your heart
Rustling leaves
Sound of laughter
Letting in joy
Swaddled in the warmth
Of summer
Scent of sweet lilacs
longest day of the year
Summer solstice
I’m in the country this week minding my son’s dogs and cat. Heidi (German Shepherd) and Mia (Golden mix) are sisters and they are like two giant peas in a pod. They play together, sleep together, eat together but compete to get petted of course. And GiGi, the Persian could care less about those giants. She does her own thing. She loves jumping on the kitchen counter and drinking water straight from the tap and pleads with me daily. My son warned me NOT to do that since it took him months to have her finally drink out of a bowl. Since he leaves the kids for ten to twelve hours, he would not want her to dehydrate. It is so tempting though to indulge the little thing, like Nana giving too many sweets to the grands…that is exactly how I feel with these pets.
It is a long trek to get to work for me but the peacefulness here is palpable.
Every once in a while, she weeps of what was and what is today.
The first few months,
She’d cry a little each day;
listening to tallies of the dead
…press conferences
Oh how she would dread!
the stats always on the rise
her home became her prison
of hope and despair
in time she’d try to manage
those blubbering crying spells
two, three or four times a week…
just a little overflow…
you know when you’re embracing life
and then you catch yourself
realizing life’s not so typical
you don’t know when it ever will be.
Every once in a while, she weeps of what was and what is today.
And those times
you think of your children
and grandchildren
and your wish has been
only for their happiness
no parent wants to see their children sad,
worried what the future may bring
you want them happy and hopeful
you want them to look forward
to newborns and christenings
to graduations and weddings
yes, those are things that make her weep
knowing their fears are also hers
she can’t remove, they’re theirs to keep
every once in a while, she weeps of what was and what is today.
today she had a few errands
the drug store,
the post office had a package
And then to her local grocer
so pleased was she
proud of her deeds
walking with her checkered cart
under midday sunny skies
Every once in a while, she weeps of what was and what is today.
And then she arrives
this new reality
slaps her in the face
washing, disinfecting,
wiping down every item
that was touched by others
you know… just in case
washing her favourite mask
cash back credit card
proof of ID health card
and all three condo keys
she’d looked so forward
to sit, enjoy those fresh fruits
a slice or two or maybe three
of fresh baked crusty bread
filled with berries and oranges,
and add some whipped cream cheese
and cold glass of cranberry juice
But the washing, the separating,
the storing and disinfecting
takes at least an hour or so
at last she does sit down
looks out at her balcony
flowers on her mom’s iron table
her tree she now calls her own
she weeps, of what seems so normal
yet, Is still not so
one still does not know
whenever that will be.
(c) tournesol ‘ 2020/08/01
an afterthought
how can one weep up above the dark blue sky heavens speak
C R A C K! B O O M!
Heart does a summersault
Heavens aglow
It was hard to settle the heart and she could not help but wonder, looking out at the dark grey sky how do people survive each day, who face darkness and sounds of gunfire and explosions? How naïve she feels…how blessed in her ignorance.
Peaceful day
One must count
Each blessing
One, two, three layers
Forming a halo
of colours
After an hour of thunder and rain, she steps out to see the sky smile at her
Tournesol dans un Jardin 