reflections (haibun)

31,479 hours and still counting…

31, 479 hours to date, she has picked up the phone or sat at her desk replying to youths on the world wide web. She wonders how many hours one has to work before they start seeing pink rabbits and blue dinosaurs…

purple turtles
crawling ever slowly
weight on her heart

purple turtles
light and vulnerable
once upon a time

crawling ever slowly
feeding on every teardrop
nutrients within

weight on her heart
so called “innovation”
betrayed by giants

Giants make important decisions but may not have all the variables. Sadly, they are too tall and high, they cannot always hear the true believers…

hearts beating
to the sounds of their cries
fears, pain and suffering

Pushing the heart to beat faster, longer; lungs that sometimes collapse…not enough time to come up for air; maintenance does not seem to be the giant’s option. Push harder, drown, bury, replace, rebranding…looking to the future, they stick their chests out snapping their suspenders woven out of self-righteousness. Gatekeepers hold onto to their purple turtles so they don’t slip away. Hiding from poachers and giants who claim that Father Knows Best.

pink rabbits scatter
creating a diversion
blue dinosaurs roam

pink rabbits scatter
compassion their fuel
keeping turtles safe

creating a diversion
here, there, up and down
giants can’t keep up

blue dinosaurs roam
keeping watch night and day
the Universal Rule

when does an ideal begin to crumble?
what happens to noble dreams?
why do new stakeholders falter?
where have those primary dreamers gone?
when have visionaries replaced compassion and humility?
why have giants slipped away so far…from that Golden Rule?

She remembers going to see a new mechanic in Mississauga in 1997 when she had just moved to GTA. Her car had just passed the five year mark and was no longer on warranty. She had a list in October…to change the spark plugs, oil and filter and clean or change the brakes. She had her winter tires (which very few had there but she was from Montreal…better safe than sorry was their motto).

Mike, the mechanic (Yeah, I know like the song) did the oil change and put on her snow tires and told her everything else was fine. He told her that always cleaned brakes when doing an oil change; he said, “A garage will never make much money from a customer like you, Cl. You come in October to prepare your car for the winter…most people come around in at the end of November or even December and often when their car won’t start…prevention and good maintenance is the key to keep your car for a long time.” Of course, the winters were not as cold and snowy as in Quebec and that car held on up to 2008. The motor was still fine (thank you Mitsubishi) but it was not as safe to travel to visit her family in Quebec…her ailing mother and beautiful grandson merited more visits now.

She required a more dependable vehicle to manage the trek from Toronto to Montreal. A humble 4 cylinder, Eagle Summit was still working after 16 years, however. It felt as if it was time for retirement, but she would not be able to visit it as it; it would now be running slower and less frequently. Just like we do when we retire…we put less demand on ourselves, stretching our lives with quality time and less stress.

Isn’t that how dependable and high functioning people should be treated in a workplace? Maintaining their overall health which includes physical and mental wellbeing is crucial. Is she wrong in believing this?

pushing
faster, harder
dropping like flies

© Tournesol 19-10-08

Daily Moments  October 8 2019

blue light (haiga)

Image may contain: people sitting, screen, laptop and indoor

Grey skies bleed
sitting on my comfy chair
chasing the blues

(c)Tournesol’19-10-07

cashing into dreams ~Solo Renga ~ Daily Moments October 5 2019

Street Art , rue St Viateur, Montreal

Wishing or wanting
In betweens or parallels
Unmet desires

All aboard for dreamland
Satisfaction guaranteed

Round trip to Hopeville
Aspirations pacified
Organic and free

© Tournesol ’19-10-05

blowing in the wind ~ Tanka ~ daily moments Oct 4 2019

© Clr’15

sandcastles toppled
trees lose their vibrant manes
autumn carpets lay
woolen tuques hug their ears
children’s final dodge ball

© Tournesol ’19-10-04

Daily moments September 25, 2019 “missing Dom’ ” ~Troibun

 

You know how the smells of certain food, the images of certain things like flowers or sounds like a song all bring you back in time reminding you of that special someone?  Time stops for a moment to allow you to place yourself back with that person. That is what was happening today as she waited by the stove preparing her lunch. 

The eggs were simmering over roasted garlic and rice.  It would take a few minutes longer, she knew, but they would be “just right”, like that amazing omelette she had years ago in her friend’s kitchen in St Basil le Grand.  She remembers sitting at the counter and chatting with her as she would go back and forth leisurely but expertly, to the stove, preparing their brunch.

miss her smile
warm and genuine hugs
shimmering baby blues

miss her smile
sharing joys of music
blues and indie songs

warm and genuine hugs
former colleague that became her friend
on her first shift

shimmering baby blues
telling so many stories
spill with emotion

© Tournesol ‘19/09/25

Daily moments September 25, 2019  missing Dom’   Troibun

Godspeed Stéphanie!

rooftop sunset
(c) Clr’19 Rooftop sunset on de Gaspé, Mile End

Another person’s leaving and I can’t help but feel sad today, thinking back on that sparkle in her eyes when she first started. Watching the complicities and banters her night team had together was touching. Enjoying her photos of vacation spots exploring the world with her partner, was my way of living vicariously through a select few people I admire here.

And as if, those eyes could not take ‘shimmer’ to another level, blossoming into a beautiful woman and mother. For those who ‘get it’ when you look at your child and your heart wants to burst through your chest, there is so much love there, one could see this so clearly on her whole being as well.

Something changes dramatically when you have a child. Seeing her reminded me how those days when I returned to work with my first born. Work took second place and slowly I became to carve a new path for myself… a turning point that took a long time but brought me to my place, my passion, I still have today.

Over time, that sparkle dimmed in her eyes when she returned and I could see how she too was slowly weaving a new tapestry that would include her true self, her family and her passion. A place to breathe and feel valued and recognize the light around her again. And so, selfishly I am sad to see her go, I truly, get it.

This time it is not a new chapter but a new book. Remember how those first pages are gleaming and welcome a new story?  This is her new narrative etched with her passion and dedication to herself, her family and to those new souls who will benefit from her professionalism, her expertise, her savoir-faire and mostly her kindness.

summer waves goodbye
autumn announces change, yet…
vibrant and alive

Godspeed, Stéphanie!

© Tournesol ‘19/09/20

September 20 2019 Daily moments, Godspeed Stéphanie Haibun

last hurrah (troiku) Daily Moments September 19 2019

Image may contain: flower, plant, nature and outdoor
(c) Clr ’19

Time and time again
Cold creeps into the night
Summer’s end

Time and time again
Seasons return on schedule
Fall’s vivid colours

Cold creeps into the night
Blessed with sun and warmth
Last day of Summer

summer’s end
leaving with a last hurrah
tropical weekend

© Tournesol ‘19/09/19

ladies are wild Haibun Daily Moments Sept 11 2019

Image may contain: 2 people, people sitting

Some people have friends over for coffee or tea; others meet at a coffee shop or restaurant. But today, these lovely ladies met at a food court to play cards. How sweet is that? Once in a while another group of women would pop by their table to talk and laugh. She couldn’t understand because they were speaking something other than French or English but they sure were having a grand time!


kings, queens
party at their weekly haunt
jokers are wild

© Tournesol ‘19/09/11

they sure don’t give up (haibun)

Image may contain: plant, tree, grass, sky, outdoor and nature

It was a pleasant afternoon and the temperature was just perfect for a September walk. She felt the energy of the sun but the breeze of the season, walking through the thicket on her way to work.

mid September songs
shrill of perseverance
cicadas don’t give up

© Tournesol ‘19/09/12

September 12th daily moment

True beauty comes within(a cherita & memoirs) Daily reflections

How many more need to go? Who else will leave her on her own?

A friend once said, it is like being in an abusive relationship. Yes, sort of, but she sees it more as living in a huge family home with extended family…you know, moms, dads, grandparents, uncles, aunts and children which include all the siblings and cousins. (Most of the children are pretty consistent with their values but there is always a bad apple…un cousin de la fesse gauche sort of.

You get her drift? Nod twice if you do and stop reading if you don’t because if you don’t get it, the rest of this will be way way over your head.   You know, those who no longer know right from wrong or blinded with the public image and their vanity.

It is like living on a farm with many different houses…but ONLY the parents, grandparents and uncles and aunts run the show. Okay, there may be “in law” that can also poison the crops…this is possible.

Some of the adults were nice but most (not all) of the nice ones died and went to heaven. Now the evil ones remain because they thrive longer feeding on indifference, vanity, ambition and greed.

Fortunately, the children were raised in the back fields to fend on their own and the opposite is what they live which is compassion and selflessness. Their goal to be there for the younger siblings…to fend for them, be their voice and if they leave, they must find a stronger group to replace them and continue the war on crime between compassion and apathy and other battles between truth and deceit.

She thinks of the people she can count on and there are a few uncles and aunties that do “their godlike thing” in the shadows…being there to support the young so the true field (frontline) workers can have the tools to persevere. It is an important job…a “must do” job. She is still at “can do”…for now.

Life drops obstacles along your path but the challenge is to do the best you can while you are still in this vicinity and then leave. Your mark, your values and your inspiration will linger and continue help those remaining …giving them a model and this will go on and on and on …

Even if there are fewer and fewer, good souls do not have to change…you need not let the evil change you to be like them…when you find yourself slipping into moments of apathy and numbness, fickleness and weakness, then it is time to leave. Your goodness will still enrich the earth as the children till the soil in the backfields (front line) of the farm.

(A cherita ~ micropoetry)

From the bottom of the muddy waters, a lotus rose

Such delicate beauty shall not be defiled
Thick muck remains at the bottom of the pond

Strength stems from truth
Compassionate petals of perfection
Such real beauty is divine

© Tournesol ‘19/09/10

Daily Moments September 10. 2019

cousin de la fesse gauche: an expression meaning a cousin removed so many times, they are no longer really related.