She tossed and turned throughout the night; her mind was filled with do’s and should’s. A cluttered mind is like a cluttered house. Time to clear out the closets, empty drawers and sort out the junk from the good. How often do we hold something in our hands and ponder for a split second and end up tossing it in a drawer or the bottom of a closet? Often times between season’s change, that same item is found and tossed into the trash. Ah, yes, she finds a cluttered mind is often a sign it is time to do some serious spring cleaning…how therapeutic it can be and at the same time, a clean home is her reward.
cluttered minds
toss and turn all thru the night
spring approaches
cluttered minds
dust bunnies and bread crumbs
hanging on to yore
toss and turn all thru the night
cat chasing its tail
hoot of the night owl
spring approaches
out with the old making room
a renaissance
Everyone needs a place to unload their burdens, their sorrows and pain. One must find a way to rejuvenate each morsel of compassion and move on to another day.
Her mind is in a haze
Thoughts flutter,
Fly away
To another hemisphere
A land of superlatives
Where grass is greener
Than emerald stones
The sky is bluer
Than her children’s eyes
The earth is heaven
Blossoms opening
At each sunrise
If only
She could write
Find the words
share with the world
So precious is this haven
Delicious are each berry
Trees carry leaves of silk
Dandelions smell so sweet
Who knew
Such places could exist?
Was this a dream?
Aw but no time to pinch
Awakening the chaos
Greyness hiding beauty
She’ll stay awhile
Inhale each fragrance
And cleanse her soul
Her mind be filled with love
Her soul exhales forgiveness
Her heart beats to compassion
From murky waters
Goodness leads the way
A lotus blossoms
(c) Tournesol’18-03-10
Daily Moments. March 10/18. Goodness always reigns (Haibun)
Walking on her usual path to the bus stop, she rolls her beaded bracelet with two fingers, whispering. At first she looks up at the sky, then notices the trees and branches waving shyly. Images of Amma floats in front of her, smiling…always smiling. Her mind is like a field of bumper cars going, coming and crashing. She has to slow down and whisper louder to block the distractions that clutter her mind.
Amma is known for her embrace but also for her compassion and humanitarianism
After several series, she is in her own world, sitting on the bus, watching the ice patches floating on the Saint Lawrence. Another mega bridge is being built parallel to the one the bus is crossing. All those men working in the cold. She shivers at the thought.
clouds holding secrets
Mother Nature knows
Snow, rain or hail
clouds holding secrets
Chaos in the world
Tears from heaven
Mother Nature knows
How it will all end
Sins we committed
Snow, rain or hail
March wavers tween two seasons
always be prepared
Daily Moments – Sunday reflections – (troibun) A troibun is a term I use to term a haibun but rather than having haiku within the text, I have a Troiku which is a new form of haiku created by my mentor, Chevrefeuille at CarpeDiemHaikuKai
This photo challenge inspired this story…from MindLoveMiserysMenagerie at Sunday Writing
Life was intolerable. Little One could no longer let this happen to her. This was the last time she would sit still while being violated; she did not cry herself to sleep tonight like most nights. Instead, she sang a chant the old lady in the village taught her. The Elder told her as she knitted on her porch,”These words bring home justice…always, If you chant this chant 10,000 times in a row without interruption.” The old lady gave her turquoise mala beads, “Here, these beads will ensure your safety if you chant as I have instructed.” She held her gift preciously all the way home.
Little One took the beads from under her pillow and began chanting. She pulled the curtain beside her bed to let in the light of the full moon. The universe kept her up all night…by sunrise, she was chanting her last set. It was quiet. The house would not come alive for another hour. She had time…
Her backpack had all her necessities had been packed for months, hidden under her bed. She dressed quickly and slipped out the back door and made her way to her secret place by a pond in the woods behind her house.
Sitting by the pond
Heart filled with hope
A lotus blossoms
Sitting by the pond
Birds chirp happily
Morning songs
Heart filled with hope
Frog sits on a lily pad
At peace
A lotus blossoms
Exhales equanimity
Touched by an angel
The movie was tense and people were holding their breaths in time with the music making their hearts skip a few beats now and then…all except for Tania. She would stare at the screen showing a horror film at her old town’s movie theatre. It was supposed to be a reunion of her best forever friends and classmates of 1957 and yet…Her mind could not escape the scene from her motel last night.
She kept playing it over and over in her head. She could still hear the woman chanting the same rhyme in the room next to hers.
you will pay for your sin robbing me of my childhood time to see who’s turn to win and rob you of your manhood
Tania dialed 911 and the police arrived just in time preventing a sordid and painful deed. The man had left in handcuffs and not the girl. He had been listed as one of the most wanted in ten states for sexual assault of a minor for the past four decades.
Tania whispered her favourite chant:
justice will prevail waste not your life avenging karma always wins
Day 4 of snow today but on the grrreat side, it is th warmest it has been in 2 weeks reaching a balmy minus 4 C!! I had to do some errands today and waiting for the winds to calm down. They said it was supposed to stop at 2pm.but by 4pm.it was still snowing. I was so thrilled when I got outside, because the snow was nice and immaculate and powdery. The snow ploough had cleared up the sidewalk in the morning, so it was not too bad but on my return it had stopped snowing and I was following the sidewalk plough.
I love walking in the snow after a blizzard. It was so calm and mild outside. I thought of waiting for the bus when I finished my errands with two heavy bags but I figured that walking was healthier even if I walk slowly. I have spent two weeks on my back most of the time nursing my sinuses but mostly I was so darn exhausted.
Coming back to my walk, it reminded me of a dear late friend who used to walk at night with me for hours. We would tuck our kids to bed, our hubbies too and then meet after 10 or 11 at night and walk and talk. I miss her so dearly. She was my next door neighbour I met when we moved to Chambly January 7th 1982. My daughter was just one and my son was 4. It was their father’s birthday too. I was never happier moving out of the country where the kids were born and into a small suburban town. I had been so lonely at the other place. Here in Chambly, all the children were outside playing speaking French or English and moms were outside chatting and walking. During snow storms, everyone was out. Dads shovelling and chatting with a neighbour or two for a break; children making forts and moms watching them and chatting with neighbours. Gosh! We were all healthy!! [chuckling to myself now]
I was thinking of Janet, my old neighbour and dear friend walking back home tonight. I have never had a friend like her since. We would call each other late at night if we could not sleep and let the phone ring one ring. That was the signal who was calling not to disturb or wake up anyone. I suppose today we might have texted but we did not have cell phones then. Then we would meet up and drink coffee and me sweet tea until 3 or 4 in the morning. She made me a better person and mother in so many ways.
So back to the weather, well, apparently we have had such cold weather from minus 25 to minus 40 C and they say we broke a record for being the coldest for so many consecutive days in 164 years!! Wow!
Thanks to Linda Hill for her prompt in Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS): prompt “eco” that coaxed me to write something since I have not had the energy, although I had the inspiration, to write in the past week. And once again, wishing you all a happy new year filled with much love. If you have love in your heart, you are wealthy and successful!.
Memories
Winters long ago
Soulmates
Memories
Sauntering
Lifting my spirit
Winters long ago
Building snow forts all day long
Snow angels rest
Soulmates
Walking after a snowstorm
Crunch underfoot
(c)Tournesol’ 18-01-08
Daily Moments – January 8, 2018 – memories (troibun)
I am not much for resolutions since it makes me feel locked in a wish to change a behaviour and when you feel forced, well, it’s like stubborn toddler in me resurfaces and I want to stomp my feet and say NO!!! I don’t want to, so there! And since I’m an adult, NO ONE can send me to my room, right?
However, as I age I feel my solitude, time to think and meditate and talk to myself for hours, days, weeks…I find myself rereading old wise words from yellowed pages of my books. Buddhist thought making more and more sense that I find myself wanting to try. I read over a list of 7 ways to overcome difficult times and posted it in on last journal of 2017 and it got me thinking.
I have had time to think a lot lately. Since December 22nd, I have worked one day and Christmas I went out for our family dinner…That is about what sums up my time off work. I had planned a trip and booked a train to see family for New Year’s in Toronto but my health was so so and did not feel it was right to visit people nursing a cold that would probably get much worse if I did not just rest in my own bed under very warm duvet cover in this crazy cold weather we are having in Quebec at -25 C most days. So I have had a lot of time to think. I have not been writing as much lately either. I seem to think too much and my thoughts get stuck in a dark whirlwind of negativity that it depresses me. My muse is not strong enough to weather that, so I escape by binging on Netflix. I try to read but it takes so much energy to concentrate on any book even if it is great!! This week, thankfully, I started reading The House Without Windows by Nadia Hashimi and finally, I am captivated. It has been months that I have been captivated like that and it feels so good. Granted the book is not a happy story but it is real, intense and about women and in this particular story it takes place in Afghanistan. I fell in l love with stories of Afghanistan and what it was like before wars and takeovers with a novel, A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini. I read his Kite Runner after but that first novel just made want to know more.
I wrote my first poem (troiku) of the year today as well. And writing this feels hopeful that perhaps the storm in my mind is dying down or simmering at least and not taking over of my every thought which influences my actions. I feel hopeful.
Now, the resolution I had been thinking of for the past three days is to take each day as if it is the first day of the new year. You know how some people like to take the first day of the year as happy and positive? Well, I want to be mindful of today…each moment and tomorrow is not here but I hope to wake up and just feel that moment when I open my eyes, I stretch and get up. That moment I pet my cat and give her her food. I want to be more mindful each new day this year. Just like the moments I walk to work and chanting my mantra, noticing the tree branches move slightly and I imagine they are praying too! I want to be mindful like those moments as many minutes in the day and hold my love and compassion in my heart and with each movement. Happy New Year everyone!
For the first time
Looking out the frozen window
A new year
For the first time
Seeing sunlight
My eyes still shut
Looking out the frozen window
Cold snap goes on and on
Since last year
A new year
Looks like yesterday
Different attitude
Family gathered last night for dinner. Was it out of tradition or duty more than yearnings? Some with childlike passion and wonder, some giddy with holiday excitement and one with a sharp tongue dripping with masked humour hurting the target who’s left screaming silently with a heavy heart.
Where has love gone
Forgiveness and bygones…lost
Tales of yesterday
December 27, 2017
Honey, it’s cold outside at minus 19 C with the wind chill feels like minus 27C. Each day since Christmas it gets colder. Nothing to talk about except the weather. She sits in her mother’s rocker with the paisley covered cushions; she tries to write but nothing feels right and certainly nothing filled with holiday cheer. She thought of journaling but same difference, grey tones mixed with dark notions not fitting for this time of year.
White landscapes
A winter wonderland
Outside her window
Lethargy filled days catching up with much needed rest. Sleeping, reading, daydreaming, weeping and watching movies filled her days. Whenever she tried to write, only the pain resurfaced, and so she escaped in her dreams and her stories on the screen.
Cutting the current
In her brain
she finds relief
A winter wonderland
Outside her window
December 29, 2017
Knits her thoughts
wrapped in melancholy
she waits
knits her thoughts
dropping stitches one by one
a new year
wrapped in melancholy
masking old wounds
and forgiveness
she waits
tic toc tic toc
countdown to midnight
December 30th. 2017
Time freezes
Subzero temperatures
For awhile
Time freezes.
Midnight revellers
Numbed with champagne
Tournesol dans un Jardin 