On the road to the Holy Grail (haibun)

Suzanne has asked us to write about the Road to the Holy Grail, and quotes from “Reflections on the Art of Living” edited by Diane K Osbon:

“What the Holy Grail symbolizes is the highest spiritual fulfillment of a human life.  Each life has some kind of high fulfillment, and each has its own gift from the Grail…   It has to do with overcoming the same temptations that the Buddha overcame; of attachment to this, that or the other life detail that has pulled you off course…   In the Grail legends, the land of people doing what they think they ought to do or have to do is the wasteland.”

I am not sure if I have interpreted this well but have tried interpreting a journey to engulfment.

*** 

So much time seems to be wasted when we all seem to think that time is plentiful. Is it? Really? In the past decade,  she has returned to her path of spirituality. Usually strife and hopelessness draws her there and in time, she feels at peace. She is astounded at how often she rereads a passage of wisdom and spiritual growth twenty to thirty years later as if it were the very first time. What does that mean?

There are times when she was in her  early twenty’s she may have digested words intellectually rather than emotionally. That is the only answer that makes sense to her. Life happens and too many times attachment to things and persons cloud our vision but the path is always there, waiting, forgiving and embracing.

Nothing can be rushed…it is not like spring cleaning with a power wash but letting yourself go and be.  Emptying your mind and allowing to be filled with light.

meditating
visions of white doves
inviting her home

©Tournesol`17

For those who know me, also know my late mother’s name is dove in French, Colombe.

path to nothingness (haibun)

©Clr’17

From On the Road, Suzanne has chosen the following quote to inspire us to write in our favoured waka form.

“As we turn every corner of the Narrow Road to the Deep North, we sometimes stand up unawares to applaud and we sometimes fall flat to resist the agonizing pains we feel in the depths of our hearts. There are also times when we feel like taking to the roads ourselves, seizing the raincoat lying near by, or times when we feel like sitting down till our legs take root, enjoying the scene we picture before our eyes.” – Soruyo

Thinking back when her children were little and stress had a way of creeping into the household. So often she would pack up a blanket, a healthy lunch and off they walked (her son biked) and she pushed the stroller for the younger one to the fort by the rapids. It was a mile to get there or 1.6km and if the children had behaved, they would walk to the wading pool half a mile away and maybe get a sundae at MacDonald’s across the street. The road taken then was to “stay above float” and it happened to make everyone content.

Sometimes, at the end of the day when the children’s father returned from work, they would plan a family bike outing, but before, she would take a “mommy run” to check on her bike she would say. What she actually did was ride very fast, wind blowing in her face, removing the “dust of her day” and by the time she was by the rapids, she was cleansed and became a person. She was not a mother, a wife, a daughter, a woman, a friend, a volunteer, a counsellor…she was one simple person.

roar of the rapids
inhaling every woe
announcing hope
water splashing at her feet
droplets giggle with joy

Once the stress of the day had dissipated into the current, washed away and moving on to the basin of the river, she felt lighter. Her shoulders rose naturally and she sat with her spine straight without a thought in the world…no dreams were necessary…

rolling white caps
just sitting – not wanting
contentment infused

©Tournesol ’17/07/18

my travel journal (troibun)

twilight approaching
narrowing pathway
shadows linger

twilight approaching
birds mocking
my hesitation

narrowing pathway
finally, my eyes can see
a light within

shadows linger
becoming spiritual guides
path of soul-searching

 

My Travel Journal, (Troiku)  is inspired by Chévrefeuille’s meme, “Basho’s Shadow Diary“. One thing I loved reading Basho, The Complete Haiku, translated by Jane Reichhold, was a dark side I could relate to;  I find beauty in the darkness now since so many thoughts form into haiku or verses,  lifting the darkness ever so gradually.  Somewhat like the darkness is the murkiness of the mud until a lotus surfaces above water.

©Tournesol<17/07/07

divine embrace (haibun)

After a long hot taxi ride in heavy traffic, she arrived at the hotel. She looked at the time and knew she might miss the first line for tokens to receive Amma’s embrace (Darshan) later in the evening or night. But luck (if you believe in luck) as you have it, she walked into the dining hall and was the next in line to receive her token. She was then led to the dining room to await Amma. There were over 2,000 registered for the retreat and there would not be room to sit during Atma Puja. And so she sat at a table among other devotees looking at the screen. To know that Amma was just upstairs (for real) added to this solemn moment. The room was silent.
Everyone received blessed water and when they came around to see if anyone was missing water, she took one more for a family member who is ill.
Devi Bhava is a special program that begins with the Atma Puja ceremony for world peace. Afterwards, Amma receives guests for an embrace. She continues doing this all night into the next morning. She was planning on staying the entire night to enjoy the devotional singing and music and remain in the blessed presence of the Divine Mother. In this case, the night went on until 11a.m. the following morning.

Walking around the hotel to exercise her body for the long night, she circled around the tables where there were many articles made at Amma’s ashram for sale. She purchased a few items as well as a 30 mins massage. The latter certainly did allow her to be filled with energy during the night.
She brought along a photo of a family member and when it was her turn to kneel for her embrace, Amma looked at the photo and then straight into her eyes. No words were uttered out loud but the moment was powerful. Amma, still hanging on to the photo, embraced the woman as she wept in her arms. Afterwards, Amma looked at her with a smile and knowing look. A Mother knows!

divine embrace
after months of worry
a cloud is lifted

She realized that “faith” is required to truly recognize daily blessings from the Divine. This time she felt she truly did. This was a turning point on her journey and it felt good, she thought.

On the train ride home, 12 hours after this embrace, she received a message from a loved one …a positive start she hoped.

like all beginnings
baby steps involve falls –and,
time and patience

©Tournesol’17/07/16

Inspired by the Waka prompts from On the Road posted every Friday (Australian time) or Saturday.  No order is required to follow the prompts which is a great idea to peruse through the previous meme and see if your muse is inspired.

Daily Moments – July 5, 2017 – living beauty (haibun)

Reading a list on Facebook of things we Canadians are known for inspired me to write something today.  The 10th item that says each Canadian has frozen his tongue on something metal and lived to talk about it.  My grandson’s tongue was stuck on a fudgsicle the other day…I told him to spit on it but he was panicking, so I brought him to the sink and told him to let the water run over his tongue and his fudgsicle, which solved the problem with no scars.

I wish someone had told me growing up how valuable my spit could have been under these circumstances.  When I was 7, I was at the top of a wooden slide in our town and leaning over the metal railing, my tongue stuck! It was a cold January day and the kids at the bottom kept screaming to me to do this or that but I panicked and was wailing…so I just yanked that tongue off…OUCH! But you see how well I still remember so I can tell my tale! [Chuckles]  Well, that list made me think of the things I was taught growing up.

Birth to 7 years old:

  • Never talk to strangers
  • Be nice to your family and parents’ friends
  • It is rude not to kiss a family member or family friend back (even if they stink)
  • Don’t ever take the name of the Lord in vain
  • Never say shit or maudit.
  • Always play quietly in the house.
  • Jumping is for outside only
  • Crying is for babies
  • Alcoholism is a disease
  • Always be nice to your peers (even the boys who stink and have dirty hands)
  • Children should be seen but not heard in the house
  • NEVER talk back to your parents or a grown-up.
  • Sexy means a woman wearing a tight skirt
  • Never use the F word (sure rolled nicely off my tongue at 7, only learned the meaning at 11)
  • Don`t chew gum in public, you’ll look like a cow
  • Never tattle-tale
  • Always obey your parents and elders

from 8 years old to 18:

  • Say an Act of Contrition, 3 Hail Mary’s in case you die in your sleep=free pass to heaven
  • Be kind to someone less fortunate than you
  • You need a man to take care of you
  • You can do anything and be anything you want if you work hard
  • Don’t smoke in public because you will look “cheap”.
  • The F word means a guy who forces you to make out in a park
  • Never buy retail
  • Dressing with class means plain and no frills
  • When the going gets tough, Go Shopping!
  • Cleanliness is godliness
  • Status is important
  • Help others
  • Only adults can be depressed, for youths it’s just self-pity
  • Going to church gets you indulgences (extra free pass to heaven)
  • Praying a novena to Saint Anne gets you favours and indulgences! (yay, more free passes)
  • Ambition will get you a nice house and good life
  • Count sheep if you can`t sleep
  • Say Hail Mary’s if you still can’t sleep
  • Never let a boy touch your body, he’ll think you are “cheap”.
  • French Kissing might get you pregnant
  • Some boys and men cheat
  • Prostitutes make the best wives because they know how to please their man
  • Having a baby doesn`t hurt that much, it`s like when you’re constipated
  • Wear gloves and wool socks in your boots to avoid getting frostbitten
  • Sex before marriage is living in sin
  • Only leave your husband if he beats you or cheats on you
  • If you don’t take care of your appearance your husband might just jump over the fence
  • Always please your husband in the bedroom if you don’t want him to jump the fence
  • Always dress pretty, style your hair and put on make-up when you go out in public
  • Dressing up always makes you feel better about yourself
  • Study hard and work hard

What I learned growing up:

 

A beautiful house is not always a happy home.  Money cannot buy happiness no matter how hard you try because it is not outside of you but within.  Love hurts only when you hang on to what was not yours to begin with.  Souls come and go in our lives for a time, for a reason and some just for a season.  Embrace those moments.

 

Not all Fathers know best.  Some men and women can be cruel but don’t give up; their only weakness is being human.  Racism is limiting self-growth.  The only race that truly exists is the human race.

 

Children and youths allow you to relive moments you missed out on.  Children teach us more than we know.  You cannot demand respect from your children if it was not earned in the first place.   Children model more on how you behave than by what you say.  Older children may break your heart at times but it is not about you, they are struggling on their own path.

 

Some say you should work to live but not live to work. What if your work is a part of who you are and what you live?  Gratitude and appreciation triples your paycheck, passionate about your work quadruples it.

 

It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved before…yep, that’s true!

 

Dance like no one is watching.  Love like a child with all your heart.  It’s worth the risk.  Savour those moments and experiences to remember later and perhaps share with your grandchildren. Playing is taking care of your soul.  Praying, chanting or meditating keeps you in the present and stops the worrying.

 

Is there really a generation gap or it’s just priorities and needs differ from one age to the next?  Saying, “been there, done that” sometimes rains on another’s parade.

 

Death is just another journey and it must be pretty awesome since no one wants to come back.

Compassion makes the world turn…be kind to someone today…just a smile will do!

omnipresent beauty
deep under muddy waters
a lotus appears

on the ink black surface
frog on a lily pad

breaking the silence
splashing in the water
a raven caws

©Tournesol’17/07/05

Daily Moments – July 5, 2017 – living beauty (haibun)

 

An open vessel waiting (haibun)

For years she prided herself with reading and watching the news all over the world. Then, 9/11 happened. It felt just too close to home. How could she continue practicing her profession and remaining genuine in her words and in her voice if she was, herself, alarmed at times?

And so she cut out many forms of media only limiting news when she sought it in cyberspace. This way she could make more room for her mind to think rather than be drawn into areas not of her choice.

Television was then cut out altogether and and writing emptied her mind of distracting thoughts until she learned to pray and meditate. Chanting her mantra allowed her to shut out distracting thoughts…travelling more alone…walks in nature alone…allowed her to take those first baby steps into “being”. She felt less alone in her solitude than in crowds of people. Now if only, she could sing as beautifully as those angelic youthful voices in a choir…

Image may contain: ocean, sky, outdoor, water and nature
©Clr’17-06-22

at the water’s edge
echoes of drumming
the river roars
voice turns to honey
chanting Lokah Samasta

daunting rapids
striking yet unassuming
splashing rocks
humming with every ripple
immersing feet with humility

the mind
lights up at any age
like an old well
clearing waterways
pouring life into the source

©Tournesol’17/06/25

 

 

Written for Carpe Diem Haiku Kai – “The Songs of Milarepa” (3) The Shepherd

the river mourns (troibun)

 


She gifted me on her very own birthday! Giving me a perfect day, sunshine and precious company, what better way to end it with this new tradition…

by the rapids
beating to a yearning heart
the river roars

by the rapids
waves pouring stories
dancing eagerly

beating to a yearning heart
embracing and comforting
Mother Nature knows

the river roars
rumbling outbursts
calming release

(c)Clr’17/06/22
Daily Moments June 22/17 the river mourns

 

 

 

hot june night (haibun) Daily Moments June 19-17

The heat weighed the house all night long. She couldn’t to believe how hot it was as she tossed and turned trying to find a comfortable position and keeping in the right position on so the warm air from the fan could cool her body.

She was visiting her best fried in the country and she could not get over how hot it still was at 4am! “You would think in the country, the night air would cool,” she thought. Suffering from insomnia for years, she tried reading until her eyes were heavy but as soon as she shut the light, her eyes sprung open. She tried watching a movie on her tablet using the precious wifi on her cell phone…she had not asked for the password of her friend’s wifi because she knew her friends did not have a great plan due to their location in their neck of the woods, they were limited to any kind of technology.

She took out her tablet and decided to write. “May as well be productive,” she thought. If she could not sleep, well, her muse may as well suffer like her. She managed to write two poems to a prompt on a haiku meme site. She was pleased…perhaps writing n her journal may dull the senses and she will be able to sleep a few hours at least. She wanted to get up early to help her sister start cleaning their late mother’s house so they could finally put it up for sale.

Perhaps she will see the sun rise…oh, no, she forgot, it was cloudy and the forecast was thunderstorms all day and evening which would make the temperatures drop 10 degrees. Good! Dropping from 35 to 25C would be a blessing. She checked her phone for the temperature and it was 22C outside apparently…but not on the second floor of this wooden two-story house!

meditating
whispering her mantra
spirits take over

©Tournesol’17-06-19

Daily Moments – hot June night – June 19 2017

nature in progress (troibun) Daily Moments June 14, 2017

Humans are such creatures of habit.  Well, at least in this part of the country.  Weather is the most talked about topic…”It is too cold; it is too humid; Ow, my aching joints!.”  As soon as November wraps us with a veil of dark bareness before the snow, we say, I hate winter that is coming. Depression has already set in for more of our Northern Canadians since October.  The days are shorter and darkness haunts us.  Soon people start chanting, “I can’t wait until it snows. At least it will be brighter.”  And before December arrives, we often see snow.  Everyone is more or less pleased especially the children and winter enthusiasts.

 

She has prepared her wardrobe accordingly so the long cold months will, at least, be filled with change and style.  Four or five winter coats of different levels of warmth.  A few extra pairs of boots add to the list and of course, cleats…a few extra pairs and always one pair in her backpack if the sidewalks are treacherous when she finishes her late night shift.

 

Then snow overstays its welcome in January and then February and March storms.  Spring is around the corner, they say, but we all know that spring arrives when nature decides.  That can be the end of March, mid-april or early May for those more North and East of here.  All those months waiting for warmer temperatures.

 

Well, it has been quite warm this past week. On the weekend and yesterday temperatures went up to 32C with high humidity.  Oh, she should know. She finally installed her A/C and has emptied 4 litres of water 4 times in 12 hours!  Yes, indeed, the humidity is set in the house, the furniture, the clothes.  People who struggle with allergies as she does, find it difficult to breathe and headaches and migraines attack the most vulnerable.

 

It is June 13th and still not quite summer yet another two months of higher temperatures and humidity.  Now one would wonder why we complain about two to three months of warmer temperatures when many have whined and wished for warm weather for the past six months! But we hum and ho and whine and talk about the weather, “I was up most of the night because of the heat. I arrived at work drenched due to the heat. The bus is so hot and stinky…and even worse at the end of the day.”  And so on and so forth

Why not look at the changes and embrace them, she says to herself on her way to work…

 

Image may contain: plant, flower, nature and outdoor
©Clr’17/06/14

(troiku)

peony
turning towards the sun
supping golden rays

peony
bumble bee exploring
nature in progress

turning towards the sun
swallows settling down
mid-day nap

supping golden rays
butterfly on a petal
cicadas sings

©Tournesol’17/06/14

lilacs – troibun – Daily Moments June 12, 2017

Image may contain: flower, plant, tree, outdoor and nature
©Clr’17/06/12

On her way to work, she passes by a house with budding flowers and then she stops, takes a few steps back to admire a tree with flowers falling over the white picket fence.

(troiku)

sweet fragrance
tickling her nose
from the lilac tree

sweet fragrance
stops her on her path
last scents ‘til summer

tickling her nose
butterfly fluttering
delightful touch

from the lilac tree
flaunting its splendour
and luring bouquet

©Tournesol’17/06/12

Daily moments – lilacs (troibun) June 12 2017