Watching people walking to the park, she knew she must get out. Shut-in all day yesterday was just to nurse a cold and making excuses that she must not venture out into the public; but what about just going out for fresh air? But of course, that would be good for her both physically and emotionally.
She opened the windows of her condo for half an hour or so every day but that was not enough. She knew her mental state was stuck in mud that had dried up…sort of. A must to go out and see people! Tomorrow she would be hearing people and their trials and tribulations; trying to instill hope to continue on one more day or two. Indeed, she must go out.
Contemplating this, she saw two bicycles go by! One adult was dragging another bike with training wheels and another tiny bike was following behind. The children were dressed in snow pants and big bike helmets. [She wonders if a tuque fit under those big plastic headdresses.] Those big mittens must make it tricky to steer the bike too! Ah, bicycles with toddlers and children going for a Sunday ride…that surely is a sign that spring is around the corner!
sunny skies rule
just above point of freezing
luring shut-ins out!
sunny skies rule
painting curves on stiff muscles
bidding them to smile
just above point of freezing
daring to remove their tuques
wind blows in their hair
luring shut-ins out!
young and old find delight
spring is almost here
watching with renewed energy
from her living room window
slips on coat and boots
stepping into brisk cool air
twinkle in her eyes
I read a poem written by Sreejit Poole from TheSeekersDungeon and it poked my muse this morning. I just love when that happens! TheSeekersDungeon
***
Another grey winter (when will this season end?) Will I be engulfed again by the same dark waves or will I try to ride them today?
I find snippets of joy when I look at my bff’s (best feline friends)…Bette who is growing like me (older, slower and fatter) and Kali, who makes me smile and frown all in one gesture. Today I will try to seek those milliseconds while riding those waves.
Riding the Waves
sometimes, waking up gasping for air…I pray myself back to sleep
mind will just not heed stubbornly poking at me
like a toddler whining Wake UP! stomping their feet
riding the waves I try to float above repeating my mantra
over and over sacred and compassionate I see her smiling
sadness looms pushing me underwater at last… I fall asleep
so many memories stories echo in my mind or is this a dream?
peering from one eye another wave is coming quickly I must dive beneath softness and safety my downy duvet
shifting faithfully mantra to Hail Mary’s urging theta waves
slipping into delta images and narratives embracing me
shifting now and then altering my perception some dreams make me smile
was this really a dream? is my mind playing tricks? OH, real is overrated! what does it matter? replaying my recent visit, I sigh… my frown turns upside down!
Shuffling from my bedroom, I’m greeted by Bette who seems to frown a bit. She’s sulking me these days because I will not let her come in my bedroom anymore. I’m tired of cleaning so much fur that weaves into the fabric of all my bedding. Kali comes racing out and flops down at my feet causing me to stop or else I might trip. She’s like a puppy rather than a feline. She follows me everywhere and sometimes races ahead of me wanting to play.
Once I sit with my coffee, Bette sits on a bench next to my chair and waits for me to pet her. This morning she refused to give me the “loving look”. You know when you look at a cat and slowly close and open your eyes…your feline friend usually closes their eyes to show they love you. Nope, not today, she’s still sulking me.
Kali drapes herself upon my chest like a universal scarf. Her loud purrs soothe me as if to help counteract the effects of my cup of java. World Health Organization should add felines as good for one’s health to lower blood pressure. I cannot help but smile at both my feline friends this morning, who simply “are” and their presence makes me feel like I am wrapped in silk and velvet.
watching them relax waiting for the sun to peak behind winter clouds
my furry friends teaching me so patiently how “to be”
Sitting in front of the t.v. screen, she flips from one video to the next and finds nothing to capture her attention. It has been a long day. Day two of busyNESS, Day two of SadNESS, Day two of various fires to try and put out and yet…the day feels unfulfilled. There is the person who hung up too soon because someone walked in on them; there’s the person whose phone died and you never had a chance to see if he’s safe and the list goes on. All in a day’s work, some say…who the hell says that anyway?
Switching to music seems more healing…starting with Satie Song by Alanna-Marie Boudreau, then Kimbra’s Cameo Lover and Sara Bareilles’s Gravity. Lastly, she listens to one of her favourites, Damien Rice’s Accidental Babies…aww, total bliss! It is amazing how music can truly transform you.
Sitting in front of the t.v. screen, she flips from one video to the next and finds nothing to capture her attention. It has been a long day. Day two of busyNESS, Day two of SadNESS, Day two of various fires to try and put out and yet…the day feels unfulfilled. There is the person who hung up too soon because someone walked in on them; there’s the person whose phone died and you never had a chance to see if he’s safe and the list goes on. All in a day’s work, some say…who the hell says that anyway?
Switching to music seems more healing…starting with Satie Song by Alanna-Marie Boudreau, then Kimbra’s Cameo Lover and Sara Bareilles’s Gravity. Lastly, she listens to one of her favourites, Damien Rice’s Accidental Babies…aww, total bliss! It is amazing how music can truly transform you.
Sitting in front of the t.v. screen, she flips from one video to the next and finds nothing to capture her attention. It has been a long day. Day two of busyNESS, Day two of SadNESS, Day two of various fires to try and put out and yet…the day feels unfulfilled. There is the person who hung up too soon because someone walked in on them; there’s the person whose phone died and you never had a chance to see if he’s safe and the list goes on. All in a day’s work, some say…who the hell says that anyway?
Switching to music seems more healing…starting with Satie Song by Alanna-Marie Boudreau, then Kimbra’s Cameo Lover and Sara Bareilles’s Gravity. Lastly, she listens to one of her favourites, Damien Rice’s Accidental Babies…aww, total bliss! It is amazing how music can truly transform you.
She is reminded of a youth now who is a musician playing classical and jazz. How fortunate she is to do the work she does do. How blessed she is to hear their stories and to be the ear that hears those secrets they disclose for the first time…they actually dared to say “out loud”. Such courage they have had to gather to reach out for support.
Before the end of her evening, she listens to one more song, Damien’s Rootless Tree…
sighing softly
thinking of those classical notes
cut at her heartstrings
sighing softly
recalling her soft voice
vulnerable and frayed
thinking of those classical notes
only ivory keys can articulate
such pain
cut at her heartstrings
images of doom and gloom
unearthed and naked
It is interesting how joy is relative. What’s even more fascinating is how much our brief moments of content can alter over the years. Oh, yes, of course, the gurgle of a new born is up at the top of the list, then that first kiss from that special person, hearing your child say “Mama” or “Papa” for the first time is high up there too. My goodness my heart swells just to think of that. Hearing your lover say “I love you” warms the heart but hearing your child say, “I love you” holds your heart.
I won’t get into all the other moments of contentment. Maybe I am writing this with a light heart and laughing soul as I think of what tickled my spirit today.
Step by step
Checking each heart beat
Height of the day
Slight vibration on the wrist
reporting 5,000 steps!!
Oh goodie surges
Through the heart
Fitbit’s daily peak