What is UP with the gas gouging??:(

1270317843i7t8u91.jpgOkay, so this is certainly NOT a new topic for anyone on this planet but still.  I can’t get over these past 2 weeks with the prices of fuel going up and down 10 cents in the space of 2 days!  Granted it would go down by Wednesday and up by Friday and down again Tuesday and the stupid blasted gouging would continue.  But I would notice 5 to 7 cents but lately it is so blatantly high and then low!!

I wish they would pick ONE price for 6 months or at least for 3 months.  Sheeesh!! If I had a business, I may be able to get around this a bit because I would be getting back the gst…I think I remember listening to CJAD  (800 AM Montreal) a few months ago.  The financial advisor was chatting during his weekly show about that.

We are such a pacific population…we bitch, whine, complain, write some letters here and there, sign petitions, blog the hog out of our systems but nothing changes.  I wish I could answsers abou tthis but I do agree that I am a bit lazy and passive too Isuppose…don’t take the time to try to understand how we get screwed.  Of course my rationale has been for a long time, “Well, at least we don’t have the prices they have in Europe.”  But that still does not explain the constant fluctuating prices that are very annoying.

Good night world!

Love you Mom:)

2013-02-03 02.15.50Mother’s Day is tomorrow.  I was out shopping today and I could not believe how much traffic there was, how much the malls were packed with cars and I thought to myself, “Wow, there sure a lots and lots of people who sure do love their mom!”  I mean, the traffic, and the stores were busy as if it was Christmas…really!!

It warmed my heart to see how busy business was on this weekend.  I was spending the evening with friends who were have a Mother’s Day dinner with family as well and it was really nice to see how festive this day is…still!

Tomorrow I will be visiting my mom at the nursing home and no matter how much she has changed…this is still HER day.  Mom who did so much for me and my sister and my children. Mom, who was selfless in all her actions and loved everyone with so much passion.  She cannot recognize people now but her love and passion and affection still shines through…she still grips our hands when we reach out to her, she still kisses my hand and my cheeks with passion and love.

On this visit, it will be a double pleasure as I will be accompanied by my son and he too will be a witness to his grandmother’s love and passion.  He too will make a difference in her day tomorrow and certainly his presence makes a huge difference in my day tomorrow as well because it is also MY day.

Love you Mom…Happy Mother’s Day xxxx

©Cheryl-Lynn Roberts

Got my mommy fix:)

I know it sounds silly for someone my age…I’m a mom of 2 adults children, a grandmother and yet…going to see Mom this morning…waiting for her to wake up…like I was a kid and she would work late hours as a hairdresser back in the ’50’s…I let her sleep in because I knew she was tired.  When she would wake up, she would smile …always have that look that mothers have when they adore their children…that look that said how special I was to her.  It made me feel like sticking out my chubby chest (kids were considered healthy only if chubby in those days).

She would put her hands in my hair and gently minouche me under my chin…sometimes squeeze those chubby cheeks (which I liked less) and gently flutter her finger on my neck.  I knew I was the best kid on the block when she did that!

911890_381459438635983_368133294_nThis morning, she was sleeping in her chair…I was stroking her hair and forehead gently…minouching her forehead just so she could feel a faint touch…she woke up gradually and reached out her hands…touched my hand with her left hand and lifted her right hand and touched my neck ever so gently…just a tender soft minouche…her eyes appeared a little less glazed for a split second…”Awwwwww I have my mom back!” I thought to myself with a smile.

We had a nice visit…I fed her lunch and I left feeling ready to brave the world this week ’cause I had my “mommy fix”.

Visiting Mom and her demon friend

me as a childI need to visit Mom today.  I need to feel or remember that enormous love and bond we have…had.   I never question being loved when I am with Mom…EVER!    Her spirit, her soul, her heart is somewhere in her body…her mind has been invaded as well, poor mom no longer has to battle Worry and Insomnia…finally she is at peace but her demon has robbed me of her enchanting presence…how I miss her quirky remarks, her contagious laugh and her soothing arms around me.

I will visit her today…I need to drift off into my imagination…just hold her hand…she still kisses my hand and my face if I approach her close enough and whisper, “Hi Mum”…she sometimes holds her breath for a split second and she kisses me and holds my hand tightly…then I know for a split second she escaped the clutches of her own demon…Dementia.mom and me nov 10 2012

Why did we want to grow up so fast?

165401_379170882187237_1147079981_n There is a cute image on Facebook with a child sitting on a tree branch and the inscription reads “Do you remember the time when we couldn’t wait to grow up? Hmm, what the hell were we thinking?” Yeah, I know eh? That just put me smack back into my youth…remembering…

It was so cool still believing in Santa Clause! It sure was nice thinking so many people in the world were nice…well, except for the people your mother may have warned you to be careful with…like strangers in cars…

Yeah, like the guy who stopped his car and opened his trunk asking my sister (8) and I (6 at the time) to help him with his spare tire. Now how weird is that?!!! My sister always being the helpful good samaritan did not hesitate to climb right into that trunk and I still remember backing away, tight lipped and a bit irritated that she was being so darn NICE…again! I did not want to help this weird old man (old is relative since at 6 anyone over 20 is OLD!).

So there my sister was in the trunk of the car, pulling and tugging at that spare tire until Mr. Riel, our friend and town taxi driver, drives right up next to the car and yells out nonchantally with a little smile…”Hey, kids, your mom was worried because you still have not come home from school.” And into the taxi we climbed; I remember feeling relieved and when we got home, our mother explained there had been complaints that a suspicious car was parked near our elementary school for the past week or so…and he wanted to steal kids and do who knows what with…{I had not clue what “who knows what” was but it felt REAL scary}.

Phew!! Were we ever saved in the nick of time!!

But we were still young and innocent…I still thought babies came from being blessed in a church in Holy Matrimony and that only promiscuous (bad girls) women had to do that other yucky thing to get a baby.

I still believed that there WAS a prince charming for me when I grew up EVEN though I did NOT look like Marilyn Monroe…but I sure daydreamed I was this curvy, sexy, platinum blonde woman with shoulder length hair and driving a fire truck RED convertible (Cadillac 1958). I kid you not!! That was my dream at 6!!…

I believed that good things happened to good people and that was that! That my grandmother would live forever and so would her dog, Princess. That my mom would look young and beautiful forever (now she looked like Bette Davis…for real!).

My heroes then were Marilyn Monroe, Fred Astaire, Judy Garland, Elvis. As I grew up my first celebrity crush was Sidney Poitier, Stevie Wonder and John Lennon; and then admired Marie Curie and Mother Teresa …I believed those cute messages the Beatles wrote to their fans and cried and screamed when I saw the Rolling Stones AND Brian Jones.{Yes, I AM that old!} Boy life was simple then!

Of course as I age, I have to admit that slowly but surely I am eliminating things in my mind and life and not sweating the small stuff as much…so I guess by the time I hit 90 I may be as naive and free spirited as a young child. Amen to that and to innocence:)me as a child

© Cheryl-Lynn Roberts, April 21, 2013

Things that make my day!

15921083-happy-young-woman-on-the-stepswind_blowing_in_my_hair_by_PITIKMIKMIKIt is sunny outside…the wind is blowing and feels like a steady breeze…that’s because it is a steady southerly breeze { my favourite sailing wind because it is steady and warm}. What could a person ask for more on a Monday to start my afternoon shift?

Okay, so there are some things that MATTER for a woman to turn things into good energy. A good night’s sleep…yep; a feline friend to greet you with minoushes and head butting on my hand to pet her too…yep; it’s hair day today and all the conditioners, oils and drying just seem to work in sync…yesssiree…and you feel like a million bucks…Yes, I do!

All of the above is enough to get you to grrrrreat start…but I have more.
I get a nice warm message from one special person…and if THAT is not enough, mia cara amica, Bella is coming to town this week!!! Woot Woot!!! Que j’a hate !! per darvi grande abbraccio mia amica !!! xxx000 {if there are mistakes, you get the gist Bella, right?}

And so out the door I go, with backpack filled with dinner and warm clothes to come home late in the night…azure blue skies, sun warming my face and the wind flowing just “right” in my hair.

Work for 4 hours, then training for volunteer work another 3 hours…Rather than feel frazzled with my busy day…I feel pumped. I am pretty sure it is also because I am starting something new too. I love to learn new things, love to work my mind and when it is enhanced with compassionate work helping people in mental health miieu…It’s just like trying on a brand new pair of glasses…the lenses may be just a bit clearer…I am going to learn a little bit more and see just a bit different and enhanced. My vision will be tweaked here and there.

THAT is the beauty of training and volunteering…you learn for FREE and you can practise all this new knowledge while helping people.

Getting ready for Oprah…

A whole day off to get some errands done, relax and get pampered at the hairdresser.  THAT is a luxury for me as I usually fix my hair myself and usually do a great job.  Being the daughter of a hairdresser and having spent a gazillion hours in front of a mirror in my mom`s Home beauty salon, I got to try lots of things.  So for me to like this hairdresser and the way she cuts and sets hair means she is DARN good!! Jess Hair2Go …actually her name is Jessica Sylvia but that would be a catchy name for a hair Salon.

Why the special pampering at my hairdresser today? I won 2 tickets to see Oprah LIVE at the Montreal Bell Centre tonight!! Woot – woot!…She is an amazing woman that I admire for her perserverance, her talent as a reporter, business woman,  actor and just all amazing person and philanthropist.

+ I have never been at the Bell Centre EVER!!…it was built around the time I moved to Toronto and just never had the opportunity…so it is a big deal for me tonight.  + I am going with my son who is 30 something and it`s just nice and rare that a man would accompany his mom to see OPRAH!! I am very proud of my son and love him dearly.

————————————–

Just got back and OPRAH is amazing!  She is a philosopher of some sort now and shares messages that are quite closely related to finding our purpose…lots of things of which I have been blogging about and thinking very profoundly.  So what does that say to me?  That tells me that I am right smack where I should be in my life…this lecture tonight just reaffirmed all that I have been exploring and aming form.

So be it…it was an amazing evening and so nice to share with my son:)

Nite world!

A tragic loss…

Tragic loss in 2013


Another soul destroyed, another heart broken and alas, a life is lost. Rehtaeh Parsons took her life this week… The tragedy in Nova Scotia has surely hit the hearts of most people in the country and with the media as well as all over the world.  My heart goes out to the Parsons’family and the community.  I have no doubt that everywhere,  mothers, fathers, grandparents, siblings, youths and adults all grieve this terrible loss.

http://news.nationalpost.com/2013/04/09/mother-launches-facebook-attack-against-those-she-blames-for-teen-daughters-suicide/

I think of the students at school and the mixed emotions that fill them.  How do they handle this?  A tragic death…a person living with so much despair, takes her life not knowing what else to do to ease the plague that besieged her…the hell she must have been living.

Everyone is impacted by this tragedy and as a society we are all implicated in some way…how do we react to sexual assault?   Not enough legal proof?  Okay, so why do we as a society look for ONLY authorities to weigh this?  As parents, as part of the community, as schools, as friends of friends of friends who know what happened…why can’t we try to teach our youths?  What about those who taunt, tease and harass to the point of pushing a person to utter despair?  How can we teach these persons that this type of “bullying” is pure torture they are enforcing on a peer?

I am not just talking about consequences; many youths  will be living with a huge burden the rest of their lives that I would not wish on anyone…ever.  I am talking about how do we respond to our youths’ who are exploring life but still need guidance?  How do we teach them right from wrong so they can “get it”…the moral and ethical meaning?  How do we help them tap into their consciences/soul  and act with respect and concern for others?

Grief brings up lots of difficult emotions such as shock, denial, sadness, anger, guilt, confusion to name a few but I think anger is one that is quick to follow a person around and swaddle their mind, squeeze their heart and fill their soul.  Some will be lashing out at anyone or anything as one tries to come to terms with what they are dealing … a tragic loss.  Sometimes anger is easier to endure…it is loud and active. It is letting out the pain rather than drowning in sorrow.   In order to put aside feelings of powerlessness,  better to feel the energy (although negative) of anger.  And so for many teenager-depression_girlpersons,  anger will be their ally …it may be their way of trying to drudge through this long difficult grieving journey, jumping hoops to avoid the pain of sadness and guilt.

My heart and prayers go out to the family and to  those inflicted with this terrible unrest.

If you know of a youth who needs help…let him/her know there IS help…reach out to this person, offer your ear, call a trusted adult to help him/her…if in doubt…call Kids Help Phone at 1-800-668-6868 or check their website http://kidshelpphone.ca   http://jeunessejecoute.ca for information; they offer counselling on Live Chat as well and you can even download their App Always There /Toujours a l’Ecoute.  Sometimes it can be easier to talk to a professional in an anonymous setting…it’s a start.

Remember that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary (however long that may appear or feel) problem.  There is help…

La vie EST belle!

195_21715380229_2529_nCroyez-vous à la renaissance ou « rebirth »? Croyez-vous à changer un état d’esprit « mindset » … juste un peu? Alors, moi, oui !   Et, je trouve que cela peut effectivement se manifester … et  ce n’est pas  toujours nécessaire d’avoir subis des heures et des heures de thérapie ou de lire 10,001 articles psychologiques,  ni  avoir suivis des cours ou avoir lu des livres « psychopop » … “il suffit  une ouverture”.  Ouf ! que c’est vraiment simplifier cette notion…mais bon.    Fondamentalement, tout ce qu’il faut est un esprit ouvert … qui peut transformer  les choses  en toute beauté dans votre vie.

Les sceptiques ont probablement cessé de me lire et sont mis à lire le blogue suivant.  C’est bien correct !   le bon « timing » est essentielle pour en être vraiment là.   Avoir une ouverture d’esprit n’est pas un état fait à volonté.   Le moment propice doit en être là…c’est ce que je crois en tous les cas.

Je l’ai dit de nombreuses fois  que les relations interpersonnelles qu’importe la durée  {attendre en ligne dans une banque ou  un trajet en autobus …) les rencontres à l`imprévues et les interactions avec quelqu’un PEUVENT AVOIR un impact énorme sur vous. Certaines de ces interactions au hasard  peuvent vous faire réfléchir pendant des jours et des jours. Certains peuvent éveiller une idée profonde  qui était caché pendant longtemps et qui ne faisant aucun sens il y a  101 mois ;   mais maintenant  cette pensée semble couler si bien . «Ouais», vous  vous dites, « Qu’est-il arrivé à mon vouloir  de ……….?  Wow ! J’ai gardé ça mûrir en dedans de moi tout ce temps! »

Alors qu’est-ce qui s’est réellement passé? Une idée, une pensée une réflexion mijotée pendant des jours, des semaines, des mois et oui, parfois pendant  des années. Et quand cet esprit «s`ouvre» jusqu’au moment propice de l’interaction avec cet inconnu, cet enseignant,  cet ami, ce collègue, cette nouvelle connaissance , cette parenté … ou ce nouvel amoureux … bon, ça peut venir de n’importe où, mais si vous êtes à cette place (psychologique et physique)  cette personne qui fait un commentaire ou une remarque  peut déclencher et faire relever cette vieille pensée endormis depuis longtemps ;  elle va refaire surface et cette fois-si vous elle vous aurait un bon sens…ça va faire un «DÉCLIQUE » !

Si vous me suivez toujours,  accrocher avec suspense à savoir qu’est-ce qui était  cette pensée … euh,  je ne crois pas que cela a d’importance.   Il peut y avoir une perception de longue date que j’ai eue sur moi-même vis-à-vis  la vie en général ou d’un incident particulier. Il peut être une pensée que je pensais que j’en étais fini concernant quelques situations de mon passé,  mais que je faisais de petits commentaires à l’occasion qui me remettait en doute que ce fût vraiment réglé dans mon cœur.   Et ça me rendait encore « accrochée ».  Ensuite, une âme fascinante bourrée de sagesse dit quelques mots, et voilà !   Cette « vielle pensée »  secoue la poussière d`elle-même et remonte à la surface de votre conscience.

C’est ce qui m’est arrivé hier soir ou ce matin, en fait puisqu’il était dépassé minuit ET non, je ne suis pas transformée en citrouille !    Être un oiseau de nuit, je fais mes meilleures réflexions aux petites heures de la nuit.   On dirait que les toiles d’araignées disparaissent  de mon esprit et je peux voir et entendre mieux  avec clarté.   {Je ne sais pas si je m’explique clairement ça semble la manière que je le vois et je le sens pour cette expérience particulière}.

Je parlais d`une situation de mon passé en passant (mais pourtant, il ce n’est vraiment jamais des commentaires en passant, hein? Ces commentaires nonchalants passagers se soupirent par la suite avant de changer de sujet.   (Cela ressemble plus juste de prétendre que le gros éléphant n’est pas là et faire senblant que tout va bien.} Et puis, mon ami a fait un bref commentaire: «Mais c’est dans le passé ça, non?” BAM!  Ça m’a frappée!

Au début, je me suis sentie gênée parce que je déteste parler de vieux trucs qui ne peut pas être changé et me voici que je faisais justement ça…ouf !:(

D`une part je voulais  m’expliquer … une énorme partie de moi-même sentait de la honte et de la colère envers moi de ne pas être capable de me débrouiller mieux d’un problème . Oui, il y a des raisons pour laquelle je me suis immobilisée que je vivais des difficultés à gère ceci.  Cependant, la honte et le mépris que je ressentais envers moi  parce que j’ai senti depuis longtemps que je n’étais pas à la hauteur de mon plein potentiel.

J’étais en colère contre moi-même pour ne pas préserver plus  et  de ne pas céder aux défis de la vie que je faisais face.  Bien sûr que je savais tout cela intellectuellement, mais il ne s’est jamais lié avec mon cœur et mon âme pour faire le « Déclique ».  Pourtant, j’essaie d’expliquer ce phénomène à mes clients et que cela peut prendre beaucoup de temps à digérer des informations avant que ça, le lien se fasse.  Quand le lien se fait votre état d’esprit fait, un « reboot » (redémarrage) . C’est tout! Quand il y a un redémarrage, un nettoyage des trucs inutiles et toxiques se décompose… NICE!

Alors, me voici aujourd`hui baignant dans ce nouvel  état d’esprit et à imaginer le visage de cette bonne et cropped-girl-blue-larger.gifbelle personne n’ayant aucun jugement envers moi, et que de la compassion en faisant son petit réplique.  Et, cette fois-ci  le commentaire a vite fait le lien dans tout mon esprit.    Certains appellent ça un moment  «AHA » ou un moment d’éclaircissement.  Moi, je vois ça un peu comme un souffle qui a neutralisé cette attitude négative que j’ai lâché prise et je me suis libérer avec mon esprit ouvert … super!

© Cheryl-Lynn Roberts, le 31 mars, 2013

Life IS beautiful!


195_21715380229_2529_nDo you believe in rebirth? Do you believe in changing that mindset…just a little?  I do and it actually can happen…and not always with hours and hours of therapy or 10,001 articles read, courses or self-help books…it just takes “openness”.  Oh boy, how oversimplified is that?!
But basically all it takes is an open mind…that can turn things beautiful in your life.

The skeptical are probably sneering at this and most have already gone on to the next blog to read…so be it…timing is everything and I can certainly respect that.  But being open is not something you can do at will. Well, I don’t really think so.

I have said many many times how human interactions, however little {like waiting in line at a bank or on a bus ride somewhere…) the chance meetings and talking with someone CAN change you in so many ways.  Some of those chance intercourses make you think for days and days.  Some may awaken some deep hidden thought that never made sense 101 months ago but now it seems to actually flow. “Yeah,” you say to yourself, “What ever happened to my wanting to ……………? Gee, I really had that in me all this time!”  So what actually happened?  An idea, a thought an enlightenment simmered for days, weeks, months and yes, many times for years.  And when that mind “opens” up just at that moment when interacting with that stranger, that teacher, that friend, that colleague, that new acquaintance, that relative…or that new found lover…hey, it can come from anywhere but if you are at that place with that “someone” who comments on something that can trigger that old hidden thought of yours…it WILL resurface and this time…actually make sense…”it will finally CLICK!”

If you are still with me, hanging on and wondering what that thought was…um, I am not sure that is what the point is. Is it?  It can be a long standing perception I have had on myself vis-à-vis life in general or a particular incident. It can be my thinking I have moved on in regards to a few situations but my occasional commenting or “ranting” proves I am still stuck.   Then an amazing soul embodied with wisdom makes a very brief comment and voilà!  That old idea shakes the dust off itself and rises to the surface of your conscious.

That is what happened to me last night or this morning actually since it was passed midnight and no, I had not turned into a pumpkin!  Being a night person, I do my best simmering and cooking in the wee hours of the night.  It is like the cobwebs have disappeared in my mind and I can hear and see vividly {not sure that is termed correctly but it just feels right for this particular experience}.

I was talking about an age old situation in passing (but yet, it is never in passing, is it? Those nonchalant fleeting comments, those sighs afterwards and then changing the subject.  It is more like just pretending that big fat honking elephant is not there.}  And then my friend made a brief comment, “But that’s in the past, right?”  BAM! It hit me!

At first I felt embarrassed because I hate talking about old stuff that cannot be changed and here I was bringing up some of it. Part of it was to explain myself…a huge part of me is ashamed and angry at ME for not being able to muddle through a problem better.  Yes, there are reasons I got stuck and struggled but the resentment and shame I feel is towards myself because I have been feeling for a long time that I have not measured up to my full potential.  I am upset with myself for not pushing more forward and NOT giving in to life’s challenges that can drag me down.  Oh, I knew all of this intellectually but it never connected with my heart and soul.  I try to explain this to clients that it can take a long time to process some information and ideas before it hits home…your heart and soul…and when it does, your mindset does a reboot.  That’s it!! When there is a reboot, lots of the useless and toxic junk decomposes…NICE!

Ok, so here I am today and relishing in this new mindset and visualizing this kind soul’s face…no cropped-girl-blue-larger.gifjudgement but compassion that uttered a few words…but this time it connected to the core of my whole being.   Some people call it an “aha” moment… this is slightly more as it is the enlightenment that neutralized that negative stance I held on to and now I feel liberated by my open mind…lovely!

                                              © Cheryl-Lynn Roberts, March 31, 2013