tic toc
pile of clothes await
A new home
tic toc
nagging cold impedes
still so much to do
pile of clothes await
pain of choosing
wisely
A new home
bathing suit and sunscreen
Mounted on wheels
© Tournesol ‘18/07/08
Poetry ~ Waka
tic toc
pile of clothes await
A new home
tic toc
nagging cold impedes
still so much to do
pile of clothes await
pain of choosing
wisely
A new home
bathing suit and sunscreen
Mounted on wheels
© Tournesol ‘18/07/08
I have not been writing for quite some time. I find it more difficult writing on my iPad even if I purchased a few keyboards. It is just not the same as a laptop. I wanted to purchase a Mac Air but I have spent so much lately. My trip to Mexico for my son’s wedding, clothes and wedding gift…so I thought since my 8 yr old laptop died, I just wanted a very light weight and inexpensive, so I bought a Chromebook Asus. Perfect…hardly any memory at the price I paid but I don’t need any since I save everything on my cloud .
I am quite pleased with this purchase among many other clothing purchases I have made all ON SALE! My mother educated me well on sales [chuckles] I could not help but think of her especially when I was shopping at Taylors which was one of her favourite stores. There are only 5 in Quebec…four on the South Shore and one in Granby, in the Eastern Townships. I went across the street to the Mall to get one dress for the brief wedding ceremony performed at Fort Chambly outside by a Notary because the legal marriage cannot be done in Mexico. It was just the immediate family and so lovey at the Fort on a glorious sunny day and the pictures of the rapids made it even more special. My children were raised in Chambly so it made it even more special they they chose this spot.
So back to my shopping. I went downtown in Montreal two weeks ago and found some tops and pants but I was not really impressed. I knew there were a few items at Taylors I wanted but found it too expensive. Already one dress was above my usual spending budget. Anyway I decided to go the first Taylors that is in Saint Lambert. Little did I know that the summer sales had begun!!! So I purchased two outfits and one is definitely the dress I will be wearing at the wedding ceremony in Mexico,
This heat has not been easy this past week though. In fact, our offices’ AC was not functioning properly and working at 30C is not easy especially since we work on a crisis line…comfort is certainly appreciated. Even more appreciated was that the supervisors understood and management shut down the offices in Montreal for two days so our other centres had to pick up the slack. I felt bad for them though.
Today I woke up nauseous from a migraine and fighting a head cold. It took a few hours before the migraine meds kicked in and I walked to the drug store to pick up some things for my trip. I sure hope I don’t have a problem with the food…I know, I know, I heard not to drink the water and peel fruits before eating. I had food poisoning three weeks and my tummy is still sensitive. All my meals have been based on white rice or quinoa. Good think I love rice!
I played around with my laptop when I got back to download a few apps and the time just flew. By nine o’clock, I finally had sup’, which was my first meal of the day. (I don’t eat much when I have a headache). I do prefer eating later though, so I don’t much all evening…well, not as much.[she chuckles at her own joke!]
And that is what I have to say in one stream of consciousness for this week’s prompt at Linda Hill’s Saturday’s Stream of Consciousness which is “sup”.
© Cheryl-Lynn ‘18/07/07
Written for Linda Hill’s Saturday Stream of Conciousness
She arrived at work over two hours earlier than usual since she had appointments in the morning. Taking her time to settle at her workstation, she fires up her computer and decides to listen to some music on Youtube. This week is the Montreal International Jazz Festival and what better occasion to listen to jazz.
They were entering their first heatwave, so she started by listening to Summertime by Ella the Queen of Jazz and Soul along with other versions getting her acquainted to more singers and musicians. She vacillated from older masters of Jazz to today’s artists allowing the music to of another time carry her…
For the past few years, I am so mesmerized by this singer.
swept away
Coltrane whines mournfully
recalling another time
swept away
Unforgettable lines
crooned by Cole
Coltrane whines mournfully
piercing deep
into her soul
recalling another time
replaying over and over
Who’s Sorry Now
©Tournesol\’18/06/29
Daily Moments – Jazzy afternoon (troiku)
Who’s Sorry Now (A Cherita)
music brings her back seeing her heartbroken mother for months
coming home after school
remembering on the darkness with shades pulled down
hearing the sobbing voice
Connie Frances moans over and over and over
that unrelenting turntable
©Tournesol ’18/06/29

Today we honour my mother,
birth of a special angel
now she flies above the clouds
always near
to those that hear
echoes of her laugh
&
When I visit her house, it takes me back so long ago
playing back different stories
some are sad, some are joyous
sitting by the river bank
see the water lapping
ripples of her laugh
&
our very first encounter in the bedroom by the riverside
born one wintry night
in a hurry for her arms
lapping up all the love
my mother and her mother and her father too
my father and my sister
&
rocking on my shaky heels
waiting for the sun to rise
glistening on the water
memories with my sister
sleeping by the river
sun awakening our dreams
©Cheryl-Lynn’18/06/22


a day to cheer
Happy Birthday, Mom!
missing you each day
a day to rejoice
having you in my life
gift of your embrace
Happy Birthday Mom
celebrating memories
touching many hearts
missing you each day
treasuring each dream filled night
visits from you, Mom
©Tournesol’18/06/22
Well, Emma, there will not be many photos today as I am on Day 2 of my time here with Amma and her devotees. So many people.

My hotel room is on the Lobby floor, the first room near lobby and elevators. Oh boy! I thought to myself upon arriving Friday but also saw a good side to it. The main events were on the first and second floor and I am on the third, so I thought that would certainly be convenient since I would only have two flights of stairs to use rather than always waiting in line for the elevator.
And yesterday there were so many people, that I was happy to be able to come up to my room for a mini break away from the crowd. I usually don’t mind but this year, I am feeling a bit overwhelmed with the swarm of bees buzzing and all wanting to get a taste of the sweet nectar of Amma’s embrace. Even just to see her smiling face from afar is a blessing.
I got up early (well 7:30 AM IS early for me!) and considering I had not slept well all night, no matter which side I would turn there was always a patch of pain waking me up.
I went down to the token line (people waiting in line to get a token to later receive Darshan (Amma’s embrace). I usually get acquainted with a new person when I am waiting in the long line. Yesterday I chatted with a woman from Oregon. She has been a devotee of Amma, since 2000. I am always impressed by the stories about how someone heard about Amma and how they fell in love with this divine and compassionate guru.
There were so many people that we could not sit in the main hall to see Amma during meditation but go in one of the two rooms where we saw her on a large screen. I was disappointed but at the same time, I knew she was just in the next room and felt her grace.
I came up to my room to get away from the crowd and rest a bit in my room…so happy I can run up here even if it is to get a cuppa or go to the washroom (no waiting lines here) [chuckling to myself]. But I was also surprised to see that I had walked 5km in my entire day including a brief walk to the restaurant. Wow! I guess we don’t realize all the steps we DO take in a day. According to my info on my phone, I went up to my room (2 flights of stairs) 6 times X2 to get back down.
I went down to the hall just in time as my token letters were up…talk about coincidence, eh?! I was sad that I could not kneel however, due to my injured knees but the two young men were there on the side the stage facing Amma, ready to shove that bench under my cushion [chuckles again] and there I was in the arms of this warm and giving person. She was chatting with her staff so I got to rest my head on her shoulder a good minute before she truly embraced me. I had given her my new jade and crystal mala beads to bless. I was so humbled and honoured when she draped the beads around my neck before rest on her shoulder.
Usually after Darshan, we are permitted to sit on one of the chairs on the stage to be near Amma while we process our blessed encounter with her holiness. There were so many people, I waited a few moments and people coming after me were getting seated…I left, knowing feeling that it just was not meant to be. I prefered to be seated facing her whether it is close or far, as long as I see her embracing families, couples and individuals…it is a joy seeing her give so much love to others.
As I was making my way to the exit, I could not help but stroll along Amma’s shop and look at all the different tables. I found a nice bamboo utensil set that can be clipped to a backpack. How cool is that? Great gift to give! I may pick up a few more, since they are so original. All proceeds go to Amma’s humanitarian projects.

I was pleased Karuna texted me so we could have dinner together and we walked up to a Mexican restaurant nearby. It was nice to connect since she is so busy and involved with the programme and frankly with the 25 plus years in Amma’s grace, she knows a heck of a lot of people here. She is such a giving person and so easy to talk to.
Later in the evening I met Karuna’s son, so now I felt good having also met her daughter my first morning here. I know I have told the story before, but not on this site how I came to learn about Amma.
Four years ago I was blogging and writing poetry and flash fictions inspired by prompts from various blogs/people around the world. One blogger/writer/poet at http://www.TheSeekersDungeon.comhad a weekly prompt to write in any form and the topic was always something to reflect upon. I really enjoyed these prompts giving me an opportunity to be more self aware and write about it…many times it helped me to sort things out. It was like therapy minus the 100+$ an hour! [smiles]
Another blogger friend and writer from Italy told me he was living in an ashram in India. Hmm, I found that interesting as I also had a work colleague who lived in an ashram in Toronto.
Later this blogger’s mother who lived in Seattle was convinced by her son, to start a blog at http://www.LivingLearningandLetting.wordpress. com She is a retired psychotherapist. She also started following her son’s prompts and she and I started communicating, seeing many parallels in our lives…both in the helping profession, both had a son and daughter almost the same age, both married in the 70’s and so the list went.
She mentioned Amma once and I was curious so I check on Youtube to see some videos and was so drawn to her. I could not help but weep seeing how much joy she brought to her devotees all over the world, Japan, Malaysia, India, Italy, France, Germany, Brazil, Chili…well, the list goes on.
Karuna offered to share a room with me if I wanted to save a bit of $$ on Amma’s Canadian tour in Toronto in July. I agreed…I was curious. I normally don’t like sharing a room with a friend…family and that is it but I was so surprised how easily we got along. She did her thing (which you could see how many people spoke to her and she was always there to help someone as well). And that is how I came to meet Amma.
Today I slept in late, nursing a summer cold (that may be the reason I am aching more than usual and want to be alone) but better to have that at the end of a trip than the beginning, right? Also I think a cold forces me to rest more. I had a back massage last night given by volunteer massage therapists and again, all proceeds go to Amma’s projects.
The massage therapist said, “You are Canadian aren’t you?” I wondered what gave me away, she said with a smile, “You ended your sentence with ‘eh’”. Her parents were from Montreal and she was born and raised in Calgary. Another coincidence!! I always meet people who are connected to Montreal in some way! Wow!

Okay, that’s it for now, Emma. I am taking my time to get ready for Devi Bhava. I will share a video to explain Devi Bhava so much better than I ever could. As the hours progress and the lines start to slim down sometimes not until the wee hours of the morning. The latest I have experienced Devi Bhava to start at 7pm and end at 11:00 am!
The ending is a bittersweet time as Amma looks onto her devotees slowly, silently and it feels as if she can see each and every one of us before we pass by her one last time and she throws flower petals on our heads as we rush by her.
I had another massage with a different therapist and although great that she worked on those knots (I should be sailing!) it was a different pressure and I am in more pain right now.
Right after I went for Darshan and then went up to lie down. I cannot sit longer than 20 to 30 mins and my head feels it weighs 100 lbs and my neck cannot support it as well as my shoulders…ouch! So I just went to bed. Last night I was able to sleep from 2am to 4am at which time I was startled awake by people in the next room letting the door shut on its own and that vibrated to my room plus lots of laughter and chatting…so it took a good 2 hours before I could sleep again. I stay in bed until noon and wrote most of this post then got ready for Devi Bahva. I knew there would be a long line up but I really wanted to be in the main hall and see Amma and not see her on a screen. As luck had it, I entered the main hall and they started to place me at the back and then a volunteer usher asked me if I was alone…yep, so they made a spot about 10 rows from the front in a corner. Perfect! I was so fortunate!! …lovely blessings like that surely are appreciated.
After Darshan I went back to my room and finished packing, tried to sleep and I did doze off a bit then went back down to the main hall. I sat for about 45 minutes and my neck and back could not take it. I knew then, I would not be able to see Amma bid her farewells to her devotees.
Left shortly after for the airport and here I am finishing this last paragraph. I have a flight at noon to Vancouver (one hour flight) and then 4 hour layover and 6 hour flight to Montreal arriving well after midnight. It will be good to be home…I miss Bette my Best Feline Friend (best feline friend)

Twilight appears
Mother scans the crowd
Children in the night
Twilight appears
Like an evening primrose
Hearts open out
Mother scans the crowd
Embracing each living thing
With self-less love
Children in the night
Gather one last time
Bidding Her farewell
© Tournesol ‘18/06/04
Daily Moments – evening primrose (troibun)
Dear Emma, May 30th Vancouver day trip
I decided to go into Vancouver since it was the only place I could purchased the CBD cream for my knee. Well, what I am saying? If CBD is good for aches and pains, my goodness it should do wonders for all my aches due to Fibromyalgia. I will just get it and slather it all over the sore areas…which are plenty.
My host was kind enough to drive me to the bus stop, which saved me a good 30 minutes. I had loaded extra $ on my Compass card, so was not too worried of transfers and getting to the Waterfront in Vancouver. What I had not anticipated was the bus did NOT drive into the city as a few locals had told me last night. The bus stopped at Bridgeport SkyTrain station and I saw everyone get off. I walked up to the front and asked the driver if this was the end of the line…yuppers!
I remembered Waterfront line since it is close to our Vancouver office and chose that line to get in town.
I had the address of the Cannabis Lounge where I was hoping to get my cream. In BC you don’t need a prescription to get it but in Montreal we do. I have my request put in for that when I get back from vacation but I wanted to try it now since my knees were so painful as well as neck and shoulders, so what had I to lose? My intention was to buy it, try it and then mail it to me in Quebec because there was no way I was flying with that or going through customs with it. There is barely any THC in it and it does not affect the brain/mood but it is supposed to be healing and soothing for inflammation…so they say!

I got in town and started walking in circles…yes, that is me. I look at Google Map on my phone and argue with it thinking I know better well, that means I go in circles and get so fed up, I give in to Google and voilà I found the place
I was a bit apprehensive since it is on Hastings Street and there is a section that is quite sketchy but this place was not that far East…phew! As I walked in, there were three clerks at the centre of the shop on a raised platform surrounded by a counter. There were so many smoking paraphernalia and most I have never seen…well, maybe in a movie! As I walked in, one clerk was lighting up a joint and then gave it to his colleague and calmly [they sure ARE calm!] asked if he could help me.
I started, “I come from very far…” and explained that I heard the MJ Pain cream was very good for joint pain. One of the clerks said he uses it regularly on his wrist and it works…I doubt it was just the cream…[wink wink]
The small jar was $45 and the larger one $100…so I took the small one. I left and looked around for a comfortable café where I could put the cream on my knees, neck and shoulder and sit and relax with an Americano and wait for the magic. I found a Starbucks on an nice corner with a terrace, so I stood in line for the washroom first. After a good fifteen minutes, I entered and put the cream on, and placed the jar on the toilet paper shelf. As I put it there, I told myself, “I had better not forget it now!.” Why the hell did I not put it in my bag straight away? I wanted to wash my hands first.
I ordered my double shot Americano and sat comfortably in an armchair and relaxed…I felt a tingling in my neck but still pain. My knees had not budged…I mean the pain did not subside even a little. My shoulders were the same but my upper arm seemed painless. Hmmm, well, maybe I need to slather this on a few times before seeing any difference.
After an hour of reading and writing on my iPad, I messaged a colleague who now works in the Vancouver office and asked if I could take her out for dinner on her hour break later. I am so glad I did. She brought me to this funky bar called The Taco Shop actually just across the street from The Cannabis Lounge…another coincidence? I was thrilled hearing the jazz music as I walked In. I was so delighted. Of course I ordered seafood burritos with guacamole and chips to start. My friend chose the local beer for me as she had a good idea on what I preferred. It was great!!
We could only eat half so we doggy bagged the rest (which I will be eating as my bedtime snack tonight) and I went to join her at the office. I wanted to show her my jar of magic potion. I looked in every section of my backpack…then she looked for me and then an image flashed before my eyes ‘Brown jar marked MJ Cream’ on the shelf above the toilet paper’. I slapped my forehead with the palm of my hand out of sheer frustration! Darn!!! I forgot it there.
Then I remember the woman going into the washroom after me, I warned her that there was no more toilet paper (for which I was pleased I had carried Wet ones in my bag). I saw her later and she looked at me weird…NOW, I know why. She was probably waiting for me to ask the clerk if anyone had found a jar of cream. But I had not realized it at that time. Well, my coffee ended up costing me $55.00 (including Americano and a danish).
I was kicking shelf but then I finally let it go and figured if anyone who more pain and fell upon it, then I’m happy someone can benefit it. I know I will not order it online, having tried it, I need something stronger which I noticed they have another blend for arthritic pain. In any event, I shall discuss it with my rheumatologist before I try that again, since I am sure he has referred many of his patients to alternative pain relievers.
Walking back home away from home slowly and stopping often to take in the v
Getting back home on the sky train was fine (I double checked with a local to make sure I was taking the correct line since it was getting late and late transit is not so great outside of the city). I got at the bus stop at 10:30pm and looked on my app Transit to check the stops to make sure I got the right transfer. When I got at the stop at 11:15pm, there was no one waiting for a bus, so I asked another local and the lady was going to call the transit company not trusting my phone app. Just then the 321 transfer bus arrived, so we checked and the driver said this was the right line. The bus was a fifteen minute ride and the driver told me to just keep walking straight ahead and the road will become the street I needed to get to. WELL HE WAS WRONG!!!!

I walked onto a highway crossing and realized I could not be going in the right direction. Thank goodness the moon was so full and bright but boy was I getting frustrated, tired and after 30 minutes of turning in circles, I was getting scared. I did not meet ONE person on the streets where I was walking. This is so different than back home. My phone was losing juice quickly at 7% and often it closes down at 5%…I didn’t want to call the host of my AirBnB as I knew she turns in early (compared to me) and I wished for once that Uber existed in B C. If I would call them (like I did once in a similar situation when it got too dark in San Diego to retrace my steps) I called Lyft (similar to Uber) and they catch us on their GPS and pick us up straight away. I have to say we should have that service at least outside of major cities where transit is scarce. I could not have called a taxi, since they don’t have the GPS system Uber has. My last resort if I could no longer find the house was to call the police.
There was 1% left on my phone and it stayed on by pure miracle …yes, I said a few prayers too! And I finally got home at 12:30. I had walked 12km that day but 5km just getting home since it was supposed to be 2km!
Oh well, at least it gave me something to write to you about, Emma. Right? I took a nice hot shower when I got it to soothe every aching muscle and slept like a baby.
May 31st,
Today I woke up at 8 am but my body wouldn’t budge. I picked up my phone and finished reading an e-book, then I snoozed a bit off and on and did not get out of bed until noon. It took me a while to get moving but I took my time. And now here I am at a café

I started with a cappuccino and called my uncle in Ontario to wish him happy 90th birthday and then treated myself to a double scoop (did not realize they were so BIG) of rainbow chocolate…YUM!!
I sat inside to savour the ice cream and the music turned to Jazz which seemed to attract my muse and voilà, I just finished another post!
It is such a treat to by typing my post in front of the ocean…time to leave and sit on the shore now…one last time. Then walk the 4km back.
I picked up s few souvenirs at Whitby’, a place recommended by a grienf who used to live here in White Rock I wanted so much there but the owner said I could order online too.
I sat on the beach taking in all I could , meditating and trying to be st one with my surroundings. After half an hour I decided to walk back home slowly hopefully my to find a spot tovrst closer to my lodgings.
Unfortunately, I did not find a restaurant or fish and chip place open after nine. Boy!!! it’s a bit like Toronto was like in the early 1990’s. Ih well I guess ti each its own.
There were some other places further away from my lodgings, so I thought about the half seafood burrito I saved from last night. Phew! I also brought some good aged cheddar from Montreal. I am all set for my last night in BC.
Unpredictable
Whimsical and enchanting
Like Mother Nature
Unpredictable
The weather
In Canada
Whimsical and enchanting
Getting to know
A new lover
Like Mother Nature
Humans influenced by the moon
And the stars
(C)Tournesol’18-05-31
Daily Moments – unpredictability- May 31-18 (troibun)
Dear Emma,
It is 7:20 AM and I am waiting at the airport. Of course I got here 2 hours ago. I know, I know, I get here way too early but I probably saved $10.00 in taxi fare due to no traffic at 5:00 AM, it gave me time to have a nice breakfast (Fritatta and fresh fruit) and of course I brought my coffee a blend of decaf and espresso. So getting here that early, I can do my thing before going through security since I cannot bring my coffee (liquids).I brought a small water bottle this time so if I get stuck at security and notice there is a bit left, I can chug it down so they don’t confiscate another water bottle! [Do I sound still bitter from my March trip? Well, I am!]
The ride here was amazing…the moon looked so full and it was still very bright at 5AM! I tried to catch a photo but it did not do it justice so just imagine a pale blue and pink sky and a pale round moon with splotches of grey.
I am headed West and apparently it is almost 10 degrees cooler! Who would have guessed. As we say here in Québec, “C’est le monde viré en enver”. In San Diego, forecasting 16C and 24C in Montreal…weird!
I have not slept all night as I started packing at 10pm. And of course I packed and unpacked 3 times to make sure I was bringing ONLY what I needed. I had started out packing my new capri pants but with the weather that cool, may as well stick to jeans, leggings and long skirt.
Poor Bette knew I was leaving…I had set out 5 bowls of food in a larger bowl with water to prevent ants from climbing in. Water bowls placed here and there and two fans in the dining room and living room to circulate the air. I had reserved the taxi at 4am, so I could sit with my cuppa and comb Bette, then pet her over and over and over. She soaked it all up since she knows I will be leaving. I did feel a bit guilty but fortunately, my son will be passing by almost every day. He teaches 5 minutes form my home, so Bette should be thrilled since she does prefer men!
I look forward to my trip this year…relaxing, spiritual and peaceful. Hopefully being by the ocean, will reenergize me for six weeks until my next vacation.
Checking a list
Making sure to bring
Necessities
Check, check and double check
Just bordering O.C.D.
Emerald eyes
Study with scrutiny
Pleading not to leave
© Tournesol ‘18/05/29