Got my mommy fix:)

I know it sounds silly for someone my age…I’m a mom of 2 adults children, a grandmother and yet…going to see Mom this morning…waiting for her to wake up…like I was a kid and she would work late hours as a hairdresser back in the ’50’s…I let her sleep in because I knew she was tired. When she would wake up, she would smile …always have that look that mothers have when they adore their children…that look that said how special I was to her. It made me feel like sticking out my chubby chest (kids were considered healthy only if chubby in those days).

She would put her hands in my hair and gently minouche me under my chin…sometimes squeeze those chubby cheeks (which I liked less) and gently flutter her finger on my neck. I knew I was the best kid on the block when she did that!

This morning, she was sleeping in her chair…I was stroking her hair and forehead gently…minouching her forehead just so she could feel a faint touch…she woke up gradually and reached out her hands…touched my hand with her left hand and lifted her right hand and touched my neck ever so gently…just a tender soft minouche…her eyes appeared a little less glazed for a split second…”Awwwwww I have my mom back!” I thought to myself with a smile.

We had a nice visit…I fed her lunch and I left feeling ready to brave the world this week ’cause I had my “mommy fix”.

Visiting Mom and her demon friend

I need to visit Mom today. I need to feel or remember that enormous love and bond we have…had. I never question being loved when I am with Mom…EVER! Her spirit, her soul, her heart is somewhere in her body…her mind has been invaded as well, poor mom no longer has to battle Worry and Insomnia…finally she is at peace but her demon has robbed me of her enchanting presence…how I miss her quirky remarks, her contagious laugh and her soothing arms around me.

I will visit her today…I need to drift off into my imagination…just hold her hand…she still kisses my hand and my face if I approach her close enough and whisper, “Hi Mum”…she sometimes holds her breath for a split second and she kisses me and holds my hand tightly…then I know for a split second she escaped the clutches of her own demon…Dementia.

Why did we want to grow up so fast?

There is a cute image on Facebook with a child sitting on a tree branch and the inscription reads “Do you remember the time when we couldn’t wait to grow up? Hmm, what the hell were we thinking?” Yeah, I know eh? That just put me smack back into my youth…remembering…

It was so cool still believing in Santa Clause! It sure was nice thinking so many people in the world were nice…well, except for the people your mother may have warned you to be careful with…like strangers in cars…

Yeah, like the guy who stopped his car and opened his trunk asking my sister (8) and I (6 at the time) to help him with his spare tire. Now how weird is that?!!! My sister always being the helpful good samaritan did not hesitate to climb right into that trunk and I still remember backing away, tight lipped and a bit irritated that she was being so darn NICE…again! I did not want to help this weird old man (old is relative since at 6 anyone over 20 is OLD!).

So there my sister was in the trunk of the car, pulling and tugging at that spare tire until Mr. Riel, our friend and town taxi driver, drives right up next to the car and yells out nonchantally with a little smile…”Hey, kids, your mom was worried because you still have not come home from school.” And into the taxi we climbed; I remember feeling relieved and when we got home, our mother explained there had been complaints that a suspicious car was parked near our elementary school for the past week or so…and he wanted to steal kids and do who knows what with…{I had not clue what “who knows what” was but it felt REAL scary}.

Phew!! Were we ever saved in the nick of time!!

But we were still young and innocent…I still thought babies came from being blessed in a church in Holy Matrimony and that only promiscuous (bad girls) women had to do that other yucky thing to get a baby.

I still believed that there WAS a prince charming for me when I grew up EVEN though I did NOT look like Marilyn Monroe…but I sure daydreamed I was this curvy, sexy, platinum blonde woman with shoulder length hair and driving a fire truck RED convertible (Cadillac 1958). I kid you not!! That was my dream at 6!!…

I believed that good things happened to good people and that was that! That my grandmother would live forever and so would her dog, Princess. That my mom would look young and beautiful forever (now she looked like Bette Davis…for real!).

My heroes then were Marilyn Monroe, Fred Astaire, Judy Garland, Elvis. As I grew up my first celebrity crush was Sidney Poitier, Stevie Wonder and John Lennon; and then admired Marie Curie and Mother Teresa …I believed those cute messages the Beatles wrote to their fans and cried and screamed when I saw the Rolling Stones AND Brian Jones.{Yes, I AM that old!} Boy life was simple then!

Of course as I age, I have to admit that slowly but surely I am eliminating things in my mind and life and not sweating the small stuff as much…so I guess by the time I hit 90 I may be as naive and free spirited as a young child. Amen to that and to innocence:)

© Cheryl-Lynn Roberts, April 21, 2013

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Things that make my day!

It is sunny outside…the wind is blowing and feels like a steady breeze…that’s because it is a steady southerly breeze { my favourite sailing wind because it is steady and warm}. What could a person ask for more on a Monday to start my afternoon shift?

Okay, so there are some things that MATTER for a woman to turn things into good energy. A good night’s sleep…yep; a feline friend to greet you with minoushes and head butting on my hand to pet her too…yep; it’s hair day today and all the conditioners, oils and drying just seem to work in sync…yesssiree…and you feel like a million bucks…Yes, I do!

All of the above is enough to get you to grrrrreat start…but I have more.
I get a nice warm message from one special person…and if THAT is not enough, mia cara amica, Bella is coming to town this week!!! Woot Woot!!! Que j’a hate !! per darvi grande abbraccio mia amica !!! xxx000 {if there are mistakes, you get the gist Bella, right?}

And so out the door I go, with backpack filled with dinner and warm clothes to come home late in the night…azure blue skies, sun warming my face and the wind flowing just “right” in my hair.

Work for 4 hours, then training for volunteer work another 3 hours…Rather than feel frazzled with my busy day…I feel pumped. I am pretty sure it is also because I am starting something new too. I love to learn new things, love to work my mind and when it is enhanced with compassionate work helping people in mental health miieu…It’s just like trying on a brand new pair of glasses…the lenses may be just a bit clearer…I am going to learn a little bit more and see just a bit different and enhanced. My vision will be tweaked here and there.

THAT is the beauty of training and volunteering…you learn for FREE and you can practise all this new knowledge while helping people.

Getting ready for Oprah…

A whole day off to get some errands done, relax and get pampered at the hairdresser. THAT is a luxury for me as I usually fix my hair myself and usually do a great job. Being the daughter of a hairdresser and having spent a gazillion hours in front of a mirror in my mom`s Home beauty salon, I got to try lots of things. So for me to like this hairdresser and the way she cuts and sets hair means she is DARN good!! Jess Hair2Go …actually her name is Jessica Sylvia but that would be a catchy name for a hair Salon.

Why the special pampering at my hairdresser today? I won 2 tickets to see Oprah LIVE at the Montreal Bell Centre tonight!! Woot – woot!…She is an amazing woman that I admire for her perserverance, her talent as a reporter, business woman, actor and just all amazing person and philanthropist.

+ I have never been at the Bell Centre EVER!!…it was built around the time I moved to Toronto and just never had the opportunity…so it is a big deal for me tonight. + I am going with my son who is 30 something and it`s just nice and rare that a man would accompany his mom to see OPRAH!! I am very proud of my son and love him dearly.

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Just got back and OPRAH is amazing! She is a philosopher of some sort now and shares messages that are quite closely related to finding our purpose…lots of things of which I have been blogging about and thinking very profoundly. So what does that say to me? That tells me that I am right smack where I should be in my life…this lecture tonight just reaffirmed all that I have been exploring and aming form.

So be it…it was an amazing evening and so nice to share with my son:)

Nite world!

A tragic loss…

Tragic loss in 2013

Another soul destroyed, another heart broken and alas, a life is lost. Rehtaeh Parsons took her life this week… The tragedy in Nova Scotia has surely hit the hearts of most people in the country and with the media as well as all over the world. My heart goes out to the Parsons’family and the community. I have no doubt that everywhere, mothers, fathers, grandparents, siblings, youths and adults all grieve this terrible loss.

http://news.nationalpost.com/2013/04/09/mother-launches-facebook-attack-against-those-she-blames-for-teen-daughters-suicide/

I think of the students at school and the mixed emotions that fill them. How do they handle this? A tragic death…a person living with so much despair, takes her life not knowing what else to do to ease the plague that besieged her…the hell she must have been living.

Everyone is impacted by this tragedy and as a society we are all implicated in some way…how do we react to sexual assault? Not enough legal proof? Okay, so why do we as a society look for ONLY authorities to weigh this? As parents, as part of the community, as schools, as friends of friends of friends who know what happened…why can’t we try to teach our youths? What about those who taunt, tease and harass to the point of pushing a person to utter despair? How can we teach these persons that this type of “bullying” is pure torture they are enforcing on a peer?

I am not just talking about consequences; many youths will be living with a huge burden the rest of their lives that I would not wish on anyone…ever. I am talking about how do we respond to our youths’ who are exploring life but still need guidance? How do we teach them right from wrong so they can “get it”…the moral and ethical meaning? How do we help them tap into their consciences/soul and act with respect and concern for others?

Grief brings up lots of difficult emotions such as shock, denial, sadness, anger, guilt, confusion to name a few but I think anger is one that is quick to follow a person around and swaddle their mind, squeeze their heart and fill their soul. Some will be lashing out at anyone or anything as one tries to come to terms with what they are dealing … a tragic loss. Sometimes anger is easier to endure…it is loud and active. It is letting out the pain rather than drowning in sorrow. In order to put aside feelings of powerlessness, better to feel the energy (although negative) of anger. And so for many persons, anger will be their ally …it may be their way of trying to drudge through this long difficult grieving journey, jumping hoops to avoid the pain of sadness and guilt.

My heart and prayers go out to the family and to those inflicted with this terrible unrest.

If you know of a youth who needs help…let him/her know there IS help…reach out to this person, offer your ear, call a trusted adult to help him/her…if in doubt…call Kids Help Phone at 1-800-668-6868 or check their website http://kidshelpphone.ca http://jeunessejecoute.ca for information; they offer counselling on Live Chat as well and you can even download their App Always There /Toujours a l’Ecoute. Sometimes it can be easier to talk to a professional in an anonymous setting…it’s a start.

Remember that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary (however long that may appear or feel) problem. There is help…

An ode to Springtime…Vive le printemps…

April 3^rd and it IS still so cold!! What is up?!! I do have a theory. You see, me thinks that Mother Nature got dumped by her lover and is not in a happy place right now. So she’s put that loving, warm, fuzzy springtime feeling often associated with warmer weather…on hold.

But despite Mother Nature’s attitude, Spring IS in the air. However, I seem to feel lots of different vibes these days…people seem to be have some type of excitement mounting within their souls…they seem to be more active…moving more…they seem to be looking forward to GO OUT AND PLAY…see the sun….to warm their bodies by the sun and breathe nature’s golden rays.

Even children and teens seem to be distracted by the shifting of the planet. They can’t concentrate on their studies, seem to be finding themselves daydreaming more and are a bit worried about their school marks. Little children are walking with passion in those huge puddles…because it’s FUN!! What IS going on?!!

It’s only Spring Fever, folks. Who the heck knows what cosmic plan there is…it just is. I remember feeling this as long as I can remember. When I was skipping rope on the school playground;

playing marbles with boys in my grade and winning!! ;

crushing on the boy sitting next to me and exchanging love notes in Grade 4! Yep, and his name was Kevin!! Riding my bike feeling so cool with my hands up in the air…not EVEN falling!! As a teenager and writing my and “his” initials in my notebook over and over and over. Yep, it’s just a weird time of year. I suppose I could have researched a bit more before writing this blog but you know what? I don’t care about the why!…all I know is that it is a time of year that is grrrrrrrrrrrreat! If you are single, well, you have hopes and dreams and lots and lots of daydreams. No problem there!

If you are in a relationship, perhaps you and your partner are a little more affectionate and silly. If you are in a relationship where you have more or less given up on the magic…get back to that imagination or daydream of someone else. It can be a celebrity or someone
you have admired and sort of crushed on for years…so what!!! It’s just in your head anyways…it is a fleeting moment here and there and it does not hurt anyone but it can sure make you feel fine.:)

So despite the cold temperatures, stay strong…it will change soon enough and in the meantime the temperature surely has risen in the hearts and souls of most people. Right? 😀

Happy Springtime, everyone and Mother Nature…get with it…we are still going to be dazed and confused cold or warm weather…here is to lovely dreams and for others amazing realities.

***********************************************************

Le printemps est dans l’air et je ne fais pas référence juste du mois d’avril…c’est encore très froid mais il me semble que je ressens beaucoup de choses vibrer dans l’air ces temps-si…les gens sont excité…ils bougent plus…ils ont tellement hâte de sortir dehors…de voir le soleil…de réchauffer leurs corps avec les rayons du soleil.

Les jeunes sont distrait un peu…dès qu’il fait beau ils ont de la difficulté à se concentré sur leurs études. Les jeunes cherchent du soutien pour apprendre à mieux gérer leur temps car les notes de cours baissent un peu…c’est quoi tout ça? C’est le début du printemps…et c’est la nature et le cœur et le corps qui ont besoin de se nourrir de nouvelles expériences…activités, connaissances, amour et relations humaines.

Les tulipes bourgeonnent et nous sentons une tension quasiment électrique dans l’aire…la fièvre du printemps. Vous en croyez aussi? Moi, oh que oui!

Je m’en souviens de jouer au billes avec les gars de ma classe (et que je les nettoyais!!); sauter à la corde à sauter; rêver du gars assis en face dans ma classe, échanger des notes d’amour en quatrième année…eh, oui, et il s’appelait, Kevin! Me promener en vélo avec mes bras en l’air, SANS tomber…je me pensais tellement cool!

À l’adolescence, écrire et réécrire mes initiaux à côté des ceux de « lui » sur la couverture de mon calepin…des petits tours de scooter à Bedford et moto à Eastman…wow, je me sentais cool.

Ceux qui sont en couple, bien, ils agissent un peu cocasses; les couples qui ont perdu leur magie, alors rêver un peu d’un grand célébré, le mari d’un autre, hihihi…ce n’est pas grave, c’est dans VOTRE imagination!! Ce sont des moments ici et là en passant…des instances de rêverie de l’amour qui fait vibrer le cœur, le corps et l’âme.

J’ai une théorie pour le climat hors saisonnier ces temps-si…la Mère Nature vis surement une rupture de couple…hélas pour elle, sauf malgré tout ça la planète fait son rituel …elle agit sur les sentiments et les comportements des gens…la température remonte pareille dans le cœur et dans l’âme des gens…pas vraie?! 😀

Bon Printemps tout le monde et la Mère Nature, arrive donc en ville!…nous allons quand même nous rendre dans nos

Caroline Michaud Photographie

états dérouté et rêveur…eh oui, vive les jolies rêves et pour d’autres des réalités féeriques!

Cheryl-Lynn Roberts, April 3, 2013

La vie EST belle!

Croyez-vous à la renaissance ou « rebirth »? Croyez-vous à changer un état d’esprit « mindset » … juste un peu? Alors, moi, oui ! Et, je trouve que cela peut effectivement se manifester … et ce n’est pas toujours nécessaire d’avoir subis des heures et des heures de thérapie ou de lire 10,001 articles psychologiques, ni avoir suivis des cours ou avoir lu des livres « psychopop » … “il suffit une ouverture”. Ouf ! que c’est vraiment simplifier cette notion…mais bon. Fondamentalement, tout ce qu’il faut est un esprit ouvert … qui peut transformer les choses en toute beauté dans votre vie.

Les sceptiques ont probablement cessé de me lire et sont mis à lire le blogue suivant. C’est bien correct ! le bon « timing » est essentielle pour en être vraiment là. Avoir une ouverture d’esprit n’est pas un état fait à volonté. Le moment propice doit en être là…c’est ce que je crois en tous les cas.

Je l’ai dit de nombreuses fois que les relations interpersonnelles qu’importe la durée {attendre en ligne dans une banque ou un trajet en autobus …) les rencontres à l`imprévues et les interactions avec quelqu’un PEUVENT AVOIR un impact énorme sur vous. Certaines de ces interactions au hasard peuvent vous faire réfléchir pendant des jours et des jours. Certains peuvent éveiller une idée profonde qui était caché pendant longtemps et qui ne faisant aucun sens il y a 101 mois ; mais maintenant cette pensée semble couler si bien . «Ouais», vous vous dites, « Qu’est-il arrivé à mon vouloir de ……….? Wow ! J’ai gardé ça mûrir en dedans de moi tout ce temps! »

Alors qu’est-ce qui s’est réellement passé? Une idée, une pensée une réflexion mijotée pendant des jours, des semaines, des mois et oui, parfois pendant des années. Et quand cet esprit «s`ouvre» jusqu’au moment propice de l’interaction avec cet inconnu, cet enseignant, cet ami, ce collègue, cette nouvelle connaissance , cette parenté … ou ce nouvel amoureux … bon, ça peut venir de n’importe où, mais si vous êtes à cette place (psychologique et physique) cette personne qui fait un commentaire ou une remarque peut déclencher et faire relever cette vieille pensée endormis depuis longtemps ; elle va refaire surface et cette fois-si vous elle vous aurait un bon sens…ça va faire un «DÉCLIQUE » !

Si vous me suivez toujours, accrocher avec suspense à savoir qu’est-ce qui était cette pensée … euh, je ne crois pas que cela a d’importance. Il peut y avoir une perception de longue date que j’ai eue sur moi-même vis-à-vis la vie en général ou d’un incident particulier. Il peut être une pensée que je pensais que j’en étais fini concernant quelques situations de mon passé, mais que je faisais de petits commentaires à l’occasion qui me remettait en doute que ce fût vraiment réglé dans mon cœur. Et ça me rendait encore « accrochée ». Ensuite, une âme fascinante bourrée de sagesse dit quelques mots, et voilà ! Cette « vielle pensée » secoue la poussière d`elle-même et remonte à la surface de votre conscience.

C’est ce qui m’est arrivé hier soir ou ce matin, en fait puisqu’il était dépassé minuit ET non, je ne suis pas transformée en citrouille ! Être un oiseau de nuit, je fais mes meilleures réflexions aux petites heures de la nuit. On dirait que les toiles d’araignées disparaissent de mon esprit et je peux voir et entendre mieux avec clarté. {Je ne sais pas si je m’explique clairement ça semble la manière que je le vois et je le sens pour cette expérience particulière}.

Je parlais d`une situation de mon passé en passant (mais pourtant, il ce n’est vraiment jamais des commentaires en passant, hein? Ces commentaires nonchalants passagers se soupirent par la suite avant de changer de sujet. (Cela ressemble plus juste de prétendre que le gros éléphant n’est pas là et faire senblant que tout va bien.} Et puis, mon ami a fait un bref commentaire: «Mais c’est dans le passé ça, non?” BAM! Ça m’a frappée!

Au début, je me suis sentie gênée parce que je déteste parler de vieux trucs qui ne peut pas être changé et me voici que je faisais justement ça…ouf !:(

D`une part je voulais m’expliquer … une énorme partie de moi-même sentait de la honte et de la colère envers moi de ne pas être capable de me débrouiller mieux d’un problème . Oui, il y a des raisons pour laquelle je me suis immobilisée que je vivais des difficultés à gère ceci. Cependant, la honte et le mépris que je ressentais envers moi parce que j’ai senti depuis longtemps que je n’étais pas à la hauteur de mon plein potentiel.

J’étais en colère contre moi-même pour ne pas préserver plus et de ne pas céder aux défis de la vie que je faisais face. Bien sûr que je savais tout cela intellectuellement, mais il ne s’est jamais lié avec mon cœur et mon âme pour faire le « Déclique ». Pourtant, j’essaie d’expliquer ce phénomène à mes clients et que cela peut prendre beaucoup de temps à digérer des informations avant que ça, le lien se fasse. Quand le lien se fait votre état d’esprit fait, un « reboot » (redémarrage) . C’est tout! Quand il y a un redémarrage, un nettoyage des trucs inutiles et toxiques se décompose… NICE!

Alors, me voici aujourd`hui baignant dans ce nouvel état d’esprit et à imaginer le visage de cette bonne et belle personne n’ayant aucun jugement envers moi, et que de la compassion en faisant son petit réplique. Et, cette fois-ci le commentaire a vite fait le lien dans tout mon esprit. Certains appellent ça un moment «AHA » ou un moment d’éclaircissement. Moi, je vois ça un peu comme un souffle qui a neutralisé cette attitude négative que j’ai lâché prise et je me suis libérer avec mon esprit ouvert … super!

Life IS beautiful!

Do you believe in rebirth? Do you believe in changing that mindset…just a little? I do and it actually can happen…and not always with hours and hours of therapy or 10,001 articles read, courses or self-help books…it just takes “openness”. Oh boy, how oversimplified is that?! But basically all it takes is an open mind…that can turn things beautiful in your life.

The skeptical are probably sneering at this and most have already gone on to the next blog to read…so be it…timing is everything and I can certainly respect that. But being open is not something you can do at will. Well, I don’t really think so.

I have said many many times how human interactions, however little {like waiting in line at a bank or on a bus ride somewhere…) the chance meetings and talking with someone CAN change you in so many ways. Some of those chance intercourses make you think for days and days. Some may awaken some deep hidden thought that never made sense 101 months ago but now it seems to actually flow. “Yeah,” you say to yourself, “What ever happened to my wanting to ……………? Gee, I really had that in me all this time!” So what actually happened? An idea, a thought an enlightenment simmered for days, weeks, months and yes, many times for years. And when that mind “opens” up just at that moment when interacting with that stranger, that teacher, that friend, that colleague, that new acquaintance, that relative…or that new found lover…hey, it can come from anywhere but if you are at that place with that “someone” who comments on something that can trigger that old hidden thought of yours…it WILL resurface and this time…actually make sense…”it will finally CLICK!”

If you are still with me, hanging on and wondering what that thought was…um, I am not sure that is what the point is. Is it? It can be a long standing perception I have had on myself vis-à-vis life in general or a particular incident. It can be my thinking I have moved on in regards to a few situations but my occasional commenting or “ranting” proves I am still stuck. Then an amazing soul embodied with wisdom makes a very brief comment and voilà! That old idea shakes the dust off itself and rises to the surface of your conscious.

That is what happened to me last night or this morning actually since it was passed midnight and no, I had not turned into a pumpkin! Being a night person, I do my best simmering and cooking in the wee hours of the night. It is like the cobwebs have disappeared in my mind and I can hear and see vividly {not sure that is termed correctly but it just feels right for this particular experience}.

I was talking about an age old situation in passing (but yet, it is never in passing, is it? Those nonchalant fleeting comments, those sighs afterwards and then changing the subject. It is more like just pretending that big fat honking elephant is not there.} And then my friend made a brief comment, “But that’s in the past, right?” BAM! It hit me!

At first I felt embarrassed because I hate talking about old stuff that cannot be changed and here I was bringing up some of it. Part of it was to explain myself…a huge part of me is ashamed and angry at ME for not being able to muddle through a problem better. Yes, there are reasons I got stuck and struggled but the resentment and shame I feel is towards myself because I have been feeling for a long time that I have not measured up to my full potential. I am upset with myself for not pushing more forward and NOT giving in to life’s challenges that can drag me down. Oh, I knew all of this intellectually but it never connected with my heart and soul. I try to explain this to clients that it can take a long time to process some information and ideas before it hits home…your heart and soul…and when it does, your mindset does a reboot. That’s it!! When there is a reboot, lots of the useless and toxic junk decomposes…NICE!

Ok, so here I am today and relishing in this new mindset and visualizing this kind soul’s face…no judgement but compassion that uttered a few words…but this time it connected to the core of my whole being. Some people call it an “aha” moment… this is slightly more as it is the enlightenment that neutralized that negative stance I held on to and now I feel liberated by my open mind…lovely!

Easter sure IS off to a good start!

Easter weekend is among us and for many it can mean a lot of things. Good Friday often means repenting for your sins…not that I believe in “sin” but I do believe in taking an inventory of my life and what I have done and what I can do to improve myself as a person. What can I do to be a better person? That is something I have asked myself since I was a teenager I think. Praying and asking the Great Spirit, “Please help me be a better person.” Souvent je m’entend demander à le grand Créateur,”Aidez moi à devenir une meilleure personne.”

I suppose being raised Catholic, guilt and never feeling I measure up or am good enough could be partly the reason I may have thought this way. So that would be it is something that I “learned” growing up. Then there is the “nurture” part, being raised by the most loving mother and grandmother that this planet has known…really! Also being loved by extended family as well, wonderful aunts and uncles…and yes, on my father’s side of the family too…I never doubted being loved by these wonderful people in my life…EVER! Possiblement c’est mon passé étant Catholique de vivre de la culpabilité, de ne se sentir assez à la hauteur, mais bon…la vie m’a donné une mère et grand-mère qui m’ont nourrit des méga doses d’amour! Ainsi une famille qui m’ont permis de ne jamais douter d`être aimé.

Yet, there are persons that crossed my path and yes, some who were part of my life that did place stones in my shoes and I felt their pain, doubted if I could walk straight and tall enough…but I still did despite those hurdles. A new friend I recently became acquainted with often says this good-humouredly…Stand TALL…and I have, I do and I will!

C’est vraie que j’ai aussi connu des gens qui ont placer quelques cailloux dans mes souliers qui me faisait mal donc je ressentais la douleur, je me suis douté un peu de pouvoir marcher (agir) correctement et à la hauteur…mais je l’ai quand même réussis malgré tout ça. Une nouvel connaissance me dis souvent en riant, Tiens-toi GRAND…et je l’ai fait, je le fait and je vais continuer à le faire.

The Great Spirit planned some learning experiences throughout my life I think…but also ensured that I would always have a hand extended to help me up every time I looked up from a painful fall. I am thankful for that miracle of what I like to call “love”. I have known love in so many facets and colours…but I have known love and still continue to be immersed in love. What an amazing velvety blanket to surround myself with too!

Le grand Créateur m`a placer des expériences toute ma vie pour me donner des bonnes leçons. Dans ce plan, il y a toujours eu aussi une main tendu pour m’aider à me relever quand je trébuchais. J’ai connu l’amour… Des petit coup de velours de ressentir l’amour pour autrui et l’amour pour soi. Que je suis choyée! Me sentir dorloté d’amour des amis et de la famille est tellement resplendissant.

Being loved as a daughter, a sister, many loving special cousins have crossed my paths…some longer than others, uncles, aunts, grandmother and grandfather…special amazing teachers in grade school, high school and university…so many wonderful people. I have even had several employers that were kind and giving…they too feel like family to me.

I have also known romantic and passionate love…some short lived, others longer…and the most amazing and intense love of all…my children…loving them so much it sometimes hurt…seeing them glow is contagious…seeing them struggle and cry breaks my heart in pieces every time. Only a parent knows that joy and pain…and then as if that is not enough love to overextend the heart…a grandchild is born…and the flame of love burns even stronger.

J’ai connu l’amour de ma famille, ainsi ma sœur, mes cousins, oncles, tantes, grands-parents et parents. ET l’amour le plus profonde de tout…mes enfants…les aimer tellement que ¸ça fait mal parfois…les voir s’épanouir m’entoure de joie…les voir effondrer me brise le cœur et si cela n’était pas assez fort comme amour…le cœur s’étire encore plus avec l’arrivé d’un petit fils…la flamme de cet amour brule encore plus fort.

This morning I prepared a homemade meatball spaghetti sauce for my family dinner. I have to work Easter Sunday, so tonight was going to be our Easter family dinner. I kept thinking of my dear friend Maria as I was rolling my meat into little meatballs and adding them into my “secret” sauce to allow them to simmer 3 hours…just enough time so I can leave for my visit back home.

Maria is the only Italian mama that I know personally who cooks constantly for her family but with such love. I had occasions to sit in her kitchen many times in her home in Mississauga. Talking and listening to me, stirring here and there…chopping garlic and onions, shaving cheese and making me a cappuccino at the same time.

This morning as I stirred my sauce and added my spices I too felt the love I was adding into my meal. I knew my son and daughter in law like meatballs, and so it pleased me cooking something that makes them happy.

Then off to pick up my son so we could visit mom in the nursing home together. Today I would not have time to feed her lunch since I was going to Assomption to pick up a guitar my son had found…a GREAT deal. I was looking forward to the drive…me and my son travelling for a few hours, brought me back to yesteryear; remember those times made me smile. How we drove around together, carpooled his friends from concerts and parties; listening to music and enjoying the view on those drives.

It was a blessed picture seeing mom and my son hold hands…one could easily see the tenderness he has for her just by his smile. I guess one could say it was a “Kodak” moment, even if that sounds lame…it was beautiful and filled my heart with so much love and joy! Eh, oui regarder la tendresse dans les yeux de mon fils qu’il avait pour maman me remplissait avec tellement d’amour et de joie.

We spent 4 hours afterwards driving to and back to get that special guitar. As he fiddled with it while I cooked the pasta, I was reminded of those soothing melodies I heard late nights as I went to bed. They were my lullabies that gently put me to sleep as my teenage son practised on his classical guitar late at night.

This sure has started to be an amazing weekend thus far! I have more to enjoy tomorrow…sneaking a visit with my grandson and ending my day with a nice friend. Ce fut le début d’une fin de semaine céleste pour moi!

I am not sure if it is springtime or just my realizing how lucky I am to have family and great friends but the love I am feeling this weekend is pure joy. Est-ce que c’est le printemps ou tout simplement que je réjouie de ma famille et des amis extraordinaires…mais, l’amour que je ressens ce weekend me remplis d’une joie fraiche.

Happy Easter…welcome madam Spring…let love flow through the currents of life …

Joyeuses Pâques…bienvenue madame le printemps…laissé allez l’amour couler dans les courants de la vie.

Betty Boop reminds me of an important lesson that just may be a nice way to celebrate Spring.