summer showers (haiku)

Written for Carpe Diem Haiku Shuukan. The emphasis is on GRACE (enlarge your capacity of compassion) as defined by Joan Halifax, a Zen Buddhist.

G Gathering attention

R Recalling intention

A Attuning to self other

C Considering

E Engaging

Our host writes:

after the rain
that sweet perfume of the earth –
cherry blossoms bloom
© Chèvrefeuille

Photo credits: Melissa Otterbein

hot summer showers
cools pavement on city streets
a homeless soaks her feet

a homeless soaks her feet
giddy like a young child
splashing with delight

splashing with delight
hot summer showers
fragrance of city parks

© Tournesol ’15

Filled with grace (haiku)

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After communicating for months with Karuna, from Living, Learning and Letting Go, we did finally meet. I was blessed to have such a seasoned devotee of Amma. She was able to describe some of the traditions, the events that would take place each day. And thanks to her wise guidance, I was able to take advantage of every moment I could of being in the presence of this amazing sage, Amma.

I had shared with Karuna, that I uarrived here with an open mind but a heavy heart. Who does not have weight on their shoulders and in their heart? Such is life, non? But being in the presence of such a powerful, wise, loving and compassionate person, one can only naturally sway from grey or dark thoughts to brighter and hopeful reflections. Four days in such divine presence and four times blessed with a warm embrace…that’s right, I had four hugs in those four days.

Within a few hours, I could feel a divine presence and the attachment everyone had to their “mother- amma”; so many people shared their stories from past encounters; people who found their true love after speaking and embracing Amma, how special they felt when she held them, how more special one felt than another…and I could not help but see us all as children in pecking order to get our “mother’s” attention…see me, Mother, see how special I am!” I could not help but smile at that thought.

Did I sleep much? Not really, for it was also the full moon on Saturday/Sunday morning so we stayed up until 6 am. I will not go into detail to describe the events for Karuna and other writers would do this justice far better than me.

I did purchase a few items, (shopper that I am…but hey! it IS for a good cause!!) I started with a lovely scarf/shawl that I wore for my first hug, so it is now blessed. I also purchased a beautiful handmade book cover, a business card holder, beaded necklace and bracelet (the bracelet is practical for reciting my mantra, which I feel privileged to have been given by Amma), a lovely purse; and the perfume bottle was to place the blessed water we were ALL given on our last day, open to the public for Devi Bhava. Now this last day starts in the early evening and goes on until the wee hours of the morning, {so I was told} well, it went on all night until noon the next day!   Ending with weddings and much more. The energy was electrifying and although it was celebratory towards the end, there was a heaviness…a sadness that Amma would soon be leaving most of us that day for a long time. She will be missed…

(c) July 2014
(c) July 2014

(senryû)

in anticipation

my heart swelled and opened

filled with grace

(c) Cheryl-Lynn ’14/07/19

Emotes to manhood (haibun) (SoCS)

The drama teacher told us the other  day that the boys do not emote enough and asked me and Francine to give examples. Is she kidding?  I am a bundle of emotions. My soul and heart are like a bunch of elastics that pile one on to the other building a ball bigger than a golf ball.  Each elastic can snap at the knowledge of sadness, pain and suffering.  An elastic or two will snap if there is hatred and bitterness.    I am the most ridiculous example of someone you should NOT be like. But these guys need examples, she said.

Well, I beg to differ, Mrs. Messier!  These boys know how to emote alright.  They did it just fine when they were babies, even as toddlers but when they got to nursery school at the ripe OLD age of 3 and 4, they were laughed at for showing emotions.  If they dared show any signs that remotely looked or sounded like a kid with a sad face or wanting to cry…well, the boys would call them sissy.  The girls were allowed to cry if someone called them stupid or told them, “I hate you!”   A boy had to cross his arms, pout, scrunch up his nose and narrow his gaze with eyebrows trained to make a high V.  That was how they emote alright. The hid it in their hearts and sometimes it got too big, it slipped into their fist especially if they felt a tear escaping…

So how can I show these 16-year-old boys how to emote tomorrow in drama class?

Hmmm, I think I will tell them a story about a little boy going off in the forest to hunt deer with his father, grandfather and uncles.  And suddenly it starts raining and thundering. And then lightning strikes and hits a tree and falls on his uncles, striking them dead!   Lightening did not let up, yet, though, no sirree!  Lightening hit his father and his grandfather and all he had left was his little rifle and a knife and a deer that was off to the side staring at him with those big doe eyes!  He stared back…he bit his lips, he scrunched his nose, he narrowed his gaze and the dear gently sauntered up closer to him and nudged him with its nose.  The doe had also lost her mom and dad and brothers. The boy understood right there.  He put down his rifle and knife and knelt next to the deer and hugged it and cried… he wept with it in his arms until nightfall.

When the moon came out from behind the clouds, he could see his way back home.  He had an apple in his rucksack and gave it to the deer and whispered to it, “Run and hide, dear one. Thank you for healing my heart. I have become a man today. I am not afraid to cry and to show compassion.”

Deviant Art-Boy and Deer

robbed of his loved ones

nature teaches him how

becoming a man.

© Cheryl-Lynn 2014/06/30

Submitted for LindaGHill’s Friday Reminder SoCS – Prompt “Emote”

A bit late but life got in the way …again.

These are Linda’s instructions and it’s a fun prompt…just let it go, write until your thoughts stop, then you’ve reached the end, then publish.

 

Linda says: 
This week’s prompt word is “emote.” Feel free to add a suffix to it, or not, and just let it flow.
After you’ve written your Saturday post tomorrow, please link it here at the prompt page in the comments so others can find it and see your awesome Stream of Consciousness post. Don’t hesitate to join in!
Here are the rules:
1. Your post must be stream of consciousness writing, meaning no editing, (typos can be fixed) and minimal planning on what you’re going to write.
2. Your post can be as long or as short as you want it to be. One sentence – one thousand words. Fact, fiction, poetry – it doesn’t matter. Just let the words carry you along until you’re ready to stop.
3. There will be a prompt every week. I will post the prompt here on my blog on Friday, along with a reminder for you to join in. The prompt will be one random thing, but it will not be a subject. For instance, I will not say “Write about dogs”; the prompt will be more like, “Make your first sentence a question,” or “Begin with the word ‘The’.”
4. Ping back! It’s important, so that I and other people will come and read your post! The way to ping back, is to just copy and paste the URL of my post somewhere on your post. Then your URL will show up in my comments, for everyone to see. For example, in your post you can copy and paste the following: This post is part of SoCS:http://lindaghill.wordpress.com/2014/06/27/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-june-2814/  The most recent pingbacks will be found at the top.
5. Read at least one other person’s blog who has linked back their post. Even better, read everyone’s! If you’re the first person to link back, you can check back later, or go to the previous week, by following my category, “Stream of Consciousness Saturday,” which you’ll find right below the “Like” button on my post.
6. Copy and paste the rules (if you’d like to) in your post. The more people who join in, the more new bloggers you’ll meet and the bigger your community will get!
7. Have fun!

Witness of their pain

Do you remember January 1st, 2000?  I remember looking up into the sky at those fireworks, at 00:01 standing on Front Street in Toronto.  Many people worldwide wondered if our computers would crash and what the future held for us. I knew I had a passion to reach out and help.  In July  I crossed a major threshold in my counselling career by joining Kids Help Phone.  This would be my career of the new millennium!  I’d won the Lottery!  

Who knew, crossing that line,  my life would change forever?  I had joined an agency that offers a unique service to youths in “their” mode of comfort, in their style, in their time, from the comfort of their own place.  I was hooked for good! 

Like so many people who work at Kids Help Phone, either behind the scenes fund raising, spending tireless hours promoting this unique service or the endless hours listening, counselling, responding to on-line messages or chatting on Live-Chat…I fell in love with this amazing family who cares about reaching out to youths across this vast country, reaching out to cities, towns and more isolated regions where help and hope are often scarce. 

The uniqueness is the availability, the free access and more notably the anonymity of this service.  Finally a safe place for youths to reach out and not feel judged; youths, who sometimes are sharing for the first time, exploring their options and feeling a sense of empowerment because THEY are in charge of their call.  Some youths may have been robbed of this privilege by abuse or neglect; here they are heard, respected and believed.  As a counsellor, I do feel privileged accompanying a youth on their journey. I take the lead from the expert…the youth on the other end of the line or the other side of the screen.   

Most youths who call are looking for some direction and may not know where to turn. Most do have good caring supports but don’t want to worry their family or friends.  And then there are some who don’t have this…

 

Witness 

Sometimes I hear

or read on-line

from far and near

their storyline

truths that need

and must be heard,

my role to heed

bear witness

to their pain.

I may appease

but must refrain

from judgement

and rather aim

solution focus

actively  listening;

compassion’s key

and soothes gently.

 

they won’t divulge

they want to spare

their loved ones

for whom they care

still…

they just want

to unburden

confidentially

and safely…

feeling unlaboured

a weight off

their shoulder…

sense of reprieve

in total anonymity!

they are relieved

and finally believed!

 

And so I listen…

 

I hold their stories

gently in my heart

listen with my soul

witness with my ears

their pain I hear

catch their tears

embrace with my mind

their stories

one of a kind…

always unique

in their distinct tale

of deception

and betrayal

of violent nature

appalling misuse

of human behaviour

alas!… child abuse.

 

Cheryl-Lynn, Counsellor – Witness 2014/03/11

Miracles happen

(haiku)

Infant cries warn moms.

Angels come in all shapes and sizes.

Miracles take place.

© Cheryl-Lynn, 2014/02/27

This video needs little explanation but I thought the Haiku was fitting. I hope you enjoy this video as much as I did …it brought happy tears to my eyes.

A 14 Year Old Girl Abandoned Her Newborn Baby. What This Dog Did Is UNBELIEVABLE.

How are ya’?

We live in a world where everyone is rushing. People are on automatic pilot. We walk past a friend, colleague and in passing, we blurt out platitudes, casual greetings, automatic questions that we really do not expect a response, we do not want any discourse and in fact if we ask, How are ya? in passing we are stumped…literally, have to back track,  if someone says more than a nod of the head, smile or meek “fine”. It’s sad, isn’t it? How pathetic have we become?

How are you?

Why do you ask?
Do you really want to know?
Cos I could tell you
a thing or two…
Do you even care?
Why the hell do you ask
if you just say it as you pass
you don’t even friggin stop
or pause, or even look me in the eye.
So don’t bother to ask me EVER
who the feck cares, right?
I really don’t take it light
and don’t want to even fight
about this, you don’t actually care
about me or anyone but you.

© Cheryl-Lynn, 2014/02/12

Le `tit vieux du Manoir Merveilleux

Source: Pinterest

#FWF Free Write Friday: Image Prompt

Season 2, Week 6, Dungeon Prompts this week, Purpose and the Art of Holding Back 

Le `tit vieux du Château Merveilleux
Le `Tit vieux était si mal compris et sérieux
allons voir ce qui se passe dans son milieux
Ah! vous ne saviez pas qu’il était si généreux.
Écoutez! voici une histoire d’un homme merveilleux
Je vais vous présenter monsieur Elphège Vielleux.

*************

Maître  Elphège Veilleux died suddenly. He was a recently retired corporate lawyer. The village were mourning such a generous and wise man. He was only sixty-two.  They say he had an aneurism. That is supposed to be quick death…not too much suffering except, of course, for the survivors. What a shock! Such sadness and harrowing grief due to this unexpected ending!

A few days following the funeral,  Notaire Bergeron requested the presence of Iréné Veilleux,  the only son of Elphège. He was 33 years old and still never worked a day in his life. He had been kicked out of 5 private schools, 2 universities and had been in and out of 8 detox centres.  He was currently trying to fight the battle with his heroin addiction.  He thought to himself, if he can settle his father`s estate soon enough, he had good intentions to get into a private clinic in Magog, La Façon d’être.  He had spoken to his father about this last month. “If only he were still alive to see him succeed…IF only he could this time.”

The appointment of the reading of his father`s will was two o`clock and Iréné arrived just a few minutes early.  The receptionist offered him a cup of coffee and led him to the board room. Iréné was confused. “Why must the meeting be in such a big room when he was the only beneficiary?”

He took a place near the head of the long oval cherry wood table. He heard people arriving at the front of the office and looked towards the mahogany doors curiously.  The double doors opened and he was surprised to see so many people in the waiting room.

Madame Champagne, the village librarian, monsieur Desrosier, the accountant, mademoiselle  Gagnon, the head nurse at La Maison Renaud and monsieur Pierre Antoine Colbert but everyone called him PaCo, the former groundskeeper of Elphège Veilleux`s estate. He lived in the cottage behind le manoir.  Iréné was a bit surprised to see PaCo arrive.  He was in his late fifties but he had not aged well; arthritis had ravaged his body.  He had been with Elphège since he was a child. His mother was Elphège`s gouvernante and raised PaCo in the old carriage house.  There had always been an understanding that Paco could stay in his humble but comfortable loft for as long as he wished.  He was a bit of an enigma to most here.  No one knew where he went every afternoon returning at twilight.

His stride was shaky, shuffling towards the nearest chair, he was the first seated and the others all took a seat.  Monsieur le notaire took his place and advised he had very little to say, “Monsieur Veilleux has recorded his last Will and Testament on this video, a copy is in all your envelopes along with necessary supporting documents as well.  Allons-y…”

The video commenced: Monsieur Veilleux is seated in the carriage house in an overstuffed arm chair…

“Bonjour mes chers amis…mon fils, Iréné. Comme vous voyez…I am a humble man.  I was born in a privileged environment with little needs but those who know me well, I have always worked hard. I love this village and if you are viewing this video, I have already taken off to new territories; hopefully I will be joining ma belle et douce Alys; perhaps I will also meet with maman et papa  who taught me to respect nature and human dignity. I have tried to do both.  The orchard is not as vibrant as it was but it has managed well enough to offer work to many in the village.  For that I am pleased.

During the ice storm several years ago, I was fortunate enough having 3 generators and welcomed many of you wonderful people in my home.  What a learning experience mother nature offered me.   That entire month co-habitating under difficult climatic circumstances was a turning point for me. You were privileged in one sense, being in college outside the triangle that got hit from this ice storm.  I had forged closer relations with some of you who are here today.  For that I thank you. Merci mes chers amis…you have blessed me with a gift that is priceless …the gift of purpose.

Voici, mon cher fils, I want to offer you this wonderful opportunity…you have no idea how enrichissant it feels to have such a blessing and here is my offering to you with love and hope that you grow with this dowry.

Iréné, you have struggled since the death of Alys, ta charmante maman; you were so young.  A boy at eleven still needs the love and comfort of sa maman. Since then you left me, your family, your friends and followed your own path and got lost along the way. I only hope you are here, present, as my friends are viewing this last discourse I share with you.

Sometimes when a person is lost in obscurity he finds himself in the clutches of des esprits douteux.  For you, it has been the spirits of the mind that robbed your will. You did not know that addiction was the poison of your forefathers.  Alas, yes, and this poisonous concoction disguised as a healing cocktail turns into a possessive demon…who robbed me of my son and deprived you of living.  I know you have suffered and still ache, mon fils.

I am turning le Manoir Merveilleux into a halfway house for men and women recovering from addiction.  I have more space than I have ever required and since the ice storm I have been exploring opportunities to develop my purpose in the days remaining in my life. I have visited Le Virage and la Maison Foster and mademoiselle Gagnon has helped me in this research, educated me more on the wrath of addictions and the long rehabilitation required to remain sober.  I never realized how difficult this could be. I always assumed you did not have enough willpower or that I had spoiled you too much and somehow I had enabled you.  Pardonne-moi, mon fils, I was so ignorant.

I learned that many font des rechutes, relapses as well. So I asked my friends to explore this more for me. Madame Champagne headed the research.  We found that when a person who had the support of loving friends and family,  had more chances in succeeding but what seemed to be a stronger influence was having a sense of purpose.  The strongest motivator seemed to be purpose…un raison d’être was key to maintaining sobriety.  Perhaps it is not the only source of success but I am willing to wager it may be what the doctor ordered for you, mon fils.

Paco will be the Clinical Director.

Iréné gasped and almost spilled his coffee on his lap. The villagers listened but did not seem as shocked by this announcement.  Paco lowered his eyes and stared at his hands waiting for his childhood friend to finish his discourse. He was saddened by this great loss…a brother in so many ways and his confidant.

“Paco has a PhD in psychology as you may not have known and has been the psychologist at the Cowansville Correctional Insititute for the past 25 years working the evening shift;  in 1998 I asked him if he would consider getting his certification in addictions and I am pleased he seemed as interested in this field of study as I did.

Paco is a humble man, Iréné. Do not judge him by his modest living and scruffy attire. He wears the same outdoor garb when chopping wood or raking the leaves, that belonged to his father who died not long after your mother passed.    He says it brings him closer to his father`s spirit.  He maintains the grounds at his insistence for he says it frees his spirit and feeds his mind. We already have students who come regularly to maintain the grounds who are part of another programme I have set up for aspiring college students. When they complete their high school, I will cover their tuition fees IF they succeed in their studies for a total of 6 years. Education is a free pass to life, my son.

Paco has always lived in the carriage house where he was raised and it is with great humility he accepted to take his place in le Manoir.  The carriage house is being refurbished and all latest digital instruments helpful in pursing post-secondary studies will be installed along with updated furnishings.  This will be your new home, Iréné, once you return from La Façon d’être. I am hoping you will try one more time…giving sobriety a chance.

When you return, you will have access to an addiction counsellor and group support in le Manoir anytime.  You will be given a list of chores you are required to do as all the residents do at this new halfway house.  Once you have completed your term here, you will have access to the carriage house as your new home for as long as you wish.   I have set aside funding for you to eventually return to academia.  The mind is a precious gift one must not waste…you are privileged in so many ways, mon fils. I hope you will benefit from this opportunity.

I have one stipulation for you, mon fils, if you wish to continue receiving the monthly allowance from your trust fund, you must volunteer a minimum of 10 hours a month in a non-profit agency that offers support to children, youths, men, women or  families in need. Once you find your “calling” PaCo and mademoiselle Gagnon must approve the organization and will be your advisor/mentor along this rich journey.

I will always be with you, mon fils, in love and spirit.”

© Cheryl-Lynn, 2014/02/08

**********************************************

I started writing a story about this prompted image and along the way another prompt from Dungeon Prompts this week, Purpose and the Art of Holding Back  was on my mind and it slipped into the theme of this story.  I thought to myself, Well, that is sort of cheating, isn’t it?  But I don’t write many narratives or poems on this blog and I thought this would be an appropriate contribution. I hope you enjoyed it, Cheryl-Lynn.

Compassion heals Pain

Cropped Photo: Mural street art - Montréal, October 2013 Cheryl-Lynn Roberts

Cropped Photo: Mural street art – Montréal, October 2013  © Cheryl-Lynn Roberts

Pain has become my best friend forever
that actually makes me feel alive…
without it?
I’m not sure I would survive.

Acceptance is the magic key
prognosis of a puzzling condition
he who has a medical degree
diagnosed a painful affliction.

But rather than sink into despair
I simply trudge on anywhere
and work with passion at my career
filled with compassion that is so dear
and knowing that my fate is clear
destined to help , soothe a hurt soul
I  feel blessed fulfilling this role.

Nothing better than to give…
listen, care, help them  forgive
yet not regress but
live again
and moving on, learn to let go
of their past hurts and childhood pain.

To feel a physical pain inside
simply confirms that I’m alive.
And when I think of those who stride
in war and poverty, still survive;
how dare that I consume self-pity
and whimper meagre aches and pains
when those who suffer ‘round the world
of hunger, rape …do they complain?
They only ask for peace … petty portions
of cease-fire, gain some liberation
and tranquil minds, and scanty rations
what so often we take for granted.

Pain has become my best friend
that actually makes me feel alive
without it?
I’m not sure I would survive.

I feel so humbled to assist
these youths who suffer silently
and reach out to us for a list
of ways to live more positively.

And then I try to instill hope
that will in time conquer despair
and offer skills to help them cope
until they learn to truly care
and turn their life ‘round for repair.

I feel so humbled to assist
these youths who suffer silently
and reach out to us for a list
of ways to live more positively.

© Cheryl-Lynn Roberts, January 5, 2014

Poetry share, prompt 37 for MindLoveMisery – Unavoidable Pain 

Comfort ‘n Joy?

advent image dec 

As the holidays are approaching quickly, some people think changed behaviour of some friends and relatives…sometimes it is less to be desired.   i.e. more fighting, arguing, behaving inappropriately including sexually.

Here are a few snippets of stories I have heard over the years talking with youths:

It may be the first Christmas without mom and dad together;  When  parents separate a child may have mixed feelings. He may remember the fighting when they were all together.  He may feel torn with sad or angry feelings towards one parent or both.  Change is never easy but it is more difficult for youths especially teens.  Keep that in mind when making plans for the holidays.

A youth may feel guilty being more with one parent and not know how to reach out to the other parent. How can a parent help a child sort this out?  It is totally okay to feel these emotions..confusion, guilt, anger…and hope. It’s just nice to have a shoulder to lean on when it gets messy in the mind and confusing.

Some youths are worried their family have enough money to get through the year. Many people are laid off end of December and contracts are sometimes renewed only in the spring.  Some older youths (teens) feel they should quit school to help the family by getting a job.

Some families are transferred in other parts of the country or the world due to employment…parents have to move their families…sometimes children have to say goodbye to long-term friends.  Getting through  the holidays in a new place can be exciting and yet it can be overwhelming as well. 

For some families and youths, this is a marked season without a special friend or family member…grieving this loss, and their absence is felt more so during certain holidays.

For many youths who have lost a loved one, regardless when that was…the holidays are often difficult because it is a time to share with loved ones and that person is not among them.  And so, the holidays can be an “opportunity” rather to take time and think about this person and include her or him in your well wishes during the holidays. 

Let’s be honest.  It is a bittersweet time for adults too. Some of us have lost a parent or both. So keep in mind that it’s okay to talk about it. Normalizing grief and loss on important holidays is acknowledging that big elephant in the living room.  Once that’s out in the open, it will actually give a sense of relief for everyone.

This is a time of year that many teens are invited to parties, exposed to alcohol and drugs; they need to know they can call for a ride without getting scolded…is this a possibility for many? 

Some youths share they feel a bit left out because they know their friends are celebrating Christmas but it is not part of their culture or religion.  They share that it is not only at school or with friends but it is everywhere they go…the television, the radio, the stores, the newspapers…all bombarded with this Christmas cheer that is a bit foreign to them.

It may be a good time to emphasize that the meaning of this word ‘Christmas’ and that for many it is an opportunity  to connect with people and tell them how much they care about them; it can mean having people over for the holidays to share a good meal and that that sense of giving and sharing is perhaps more universal this time of year.     

The holidays  represent many diverse things for youths and families.  There is the joy of getting together and yet the stress of having enough time off to enjoy this time with the children.  There are cultural and religious differences that some face and are forced to be off work and exposed to the commercial aspect of this time of year. Let’s face it, even those who celebrate Christmas get fed up being bombarded by the commercialization too.

Ultimately, it is supposed to be a time of year to bring friends and families together; sometimes we need to be more creative in the gatherings and have more “pot lucks”.  Children also feel the stress and depending on their age, are often confused as to who they are supposed to act.

Planning, decorating and cooking and baking…all of these traditions can be part of the fun too…how are you planning your holidays?  Children feel special when they are given certain roles and tasks too.  What have you planned for your children?  Remember, if you are anxious and stressed about the holidays, chances are some of your children may be feeling some of this angst too.  They are like sponges, soaking up emotions we had no idea they could relate to. Usually the younger youths do not understand what that emotion is, they just feel something…

Some families want to also teach values to their children and it is a time of year where families volunteer at a food bank for a day or a soup kitchen too! 

Wishing you warmth, love and health … Happy Holidays!

© Cheryl-Lynn Roberts, December 17, 2013

Is compassion enough?

it seemed so hopeless
and hard to see the light
walking in the darkness
having lost sight
blind to any likely hope
focus only on despair
not seeing some DO care
that love is everywhere
one may just not be aware
yet…
misery is tormenting sometimes
but still … temporary…
suicide is tragic every time
yet still … permanent!
somehow we must try
harder
somehow we must speak
louder
somehow we must hear
better
somehow we must help
further
somehow we must never
stop trying, reaching, talking, listening
and above all caring.

by Cheryl-Lynn Roberts,  originally written September 7, 2013

Photo: deadlygothicdesigns.webs.com