It spoke to me

(Haiku – Huitain)

(Haiku)

A lovely post spoke
to me; started to self-reflect
such a humbling feat.

I read a poem this morning and it made me think. I love when that happens. You know, when you read something and it speaks to you? A Thousand Mirrors did that to me. Maybe it’s because I work in counselling but I think it triggered something more personal. Last night I was attending my 8th workshop on Borderline Personal Disorder. It’s for family and friends of someone who has this condition. It is not to just know more about what a person with BPD is going through; it is to understand what a caregiver or loved one can do to help and also take care of themselves.

So I was no longer in the counsellor’s seat learning how to better assist someone with BPD but rather I was in the “mirror” looking straight inside of ME. I am forced to see how I react to certain behaviours and how I may, sometimes, unintentionally perhaps, have added fuel to the fire. It has been too many years that our relationship has almost severed but I still love this person very much…I just don’t like how this person treats me. But, by looking inside that mirror, I was seeing things I don’t like too much about me too. Oh boy that’s a humbling experience!

The dynamics with a significant other with BPD can get explosive but it can also implode. I am learning so much that my brain hurts and my heart aches. So much is simmering inside of me but how long it will simmer? I don’t know.

Since working in my field, I have come to have more understanding and compassion for my relative. I’ve told family members to be more understanding and tolerant. But me? I have withdrawn…run a way in many cases when I felt attacked giving over so much power to this person that I love because I’m a chicken in the face of conflict.

Last night I learned that I give all this power to control and “hurt” is not really what a person with ANY condition wants. And not be chicken, I may, in time find the courage to try to communicate with my relative. I know it won’t change overnight. I know my relative has no clue that I have love and compassion…there are so many misperceptions, so many judgements. {sigh}

And when I think of times I have suffered tough times…depression, loss and insecurities, I was also often misunderstood. People assumed I was just fine because I usually am the giver, the person taking care of others. I look assertive and self-assured, they know not how broken and shaken I can be inside. And this lovely poem I read this morning made me think of all of this. So I have attempted to write a new form (huitain) in poetry I’ve just learned to summarize my thoughts on this.

(Huitain)

How easy it is to assume
not try to ask, investigate
we judge, expect, predict, presume
not bothering at any rate;
empathy, heart would educate
we’d show a little compassion,
we know not what can irritate.
Listen! they may share a portion.

Inspired by: A Thousand Mirrors

A photo that went viral

Stop the Stigma

A photo that went viral by Cheryl-Lynn

Hey! Why d’you take that pic last night?
Man, you sure didn’t have a right
to use your phone and take that shot!
Man, you’d better hide your face
behind your screen, to not get caught.
You made her look like a disgrace
why d’ya take that shot last night?
it looks like D… was high as a kite
we all know she’s a good girl alright
she never did drugs and no alcohol
so why make her look like a doped up doll?
Oh man, this’ll ruin her reputation
everyone clicking Like and Share
how can she survive this humiliation?!
DON’T YOU GUYS EVEN CARE?
the news is out and spreading like wild fire
it’s feeling worse than a house on fire
Oh man, this’ll ruin her reputation
everyone clicking Like and Share
how can she survive this humiliation?!
DON’T YOU GUYS…

View original post 17 more words

Boys will be Boys

Stop the Stigma

www.huffingtonpost.ca

Boys will be boys
always use that excuse
boys will be boys
and the girls always lose.

So what do you think
should be done to those boys?
How will they learn
from right and from wrong?
Saying that girls are bad
and they deserve what they had
is just as bad as YOU taking that pic
spreading it around just makes me sick.

Boys will be boys
is not an excuse
boys will be boys
and the girls always lose.

Spreading it around is called
child pornography
did you know that at all
when ya’ll took that photography?

Boys will be boys
stop using that excuse
boys will be boys
and the girls always lose.

We have to teach all our kids
how to be decent, respectful people!
all that sexting you just can’t get rid
of it … spreading like a constant ripple.

Boys will be boys
don’t use that excuse

View original post 222 more words

Fun at work! (Tanka)

Fun at Work (Tanka)

such festive staging
greets me; I smiled and entered
joy fills my spirit.
work will be fun today
youths will truly hear my smile.

I had been away four days from work. Sundays are not always easy to come to work when family and friends are off, but today was such a beautiful sunny day, it made the drive so much easier. The bow wrapped on this gorgeous day was walking through the door at the counselling centre to see Christmas decorations already set up. This sure helps to digest Sunday working for sure. Merci mes collègues…I do think Julie P. may have had a hand at this…hmmm:)

Sunday drive in Brossard Dec 8, 2013 — Sunday drive in Brossard, Qc.
Dec 8, 2013

Photo credits: Cheryl-Lynn Roberts

Treatise on the Buddha

Precious Friendships

Friendship is a precious gift I so treasure

many relationships I tenderly embrace

a true friendship withstands the pressure

when you are placed face to face

with differences of opinions and adversity

but I take this as an opportunity

to grow and go with the flow

sometimes I even advocate for diversity.

You see how friendships make me grow?!

Let us not talk of those present in my life..

I’d need a book or two to fill the richness

some angels have brought in my life.

They know who they are…

it’s a heartfelt sense of pure love…

And then there are friends who are

just passing through for a little while.

Some friends are here for just a season

like delightful school chums and working buddies;

that special friend that shared a desk

a coffee, a muffin in such and such a class.

Grace, who shared her deep dark secret

I listened, she cried, I listened some more;

who knew I might be faced with a similar

dilemma a few years down the road!?

Oh and that committee friend that made me laugh,

that task force we were sitting on that year.

How she helped me not take things so seriously.

My sailing and walking friend by the lake

great times spent for leisure’s sake;

But,some friends are here for a reason

and once departed I might see why;

Louise who encouraged me to keep

on trying to have a baby…

she knew the agony

the despair of waiting,

she too waited ten years

…my seven seems trivial by far.

My dearest neighbour and midnight friend,

Janet, how we shared so much together,

to speak aloud of what we shared

… oh my God!!! we’d never

be able to find this same measure

of understanding….of such treasured

secrets…shared in strict confidence.

She blessed my life with her love of life

her immense patience that unfortunately

did not rub off enough on me, but still,

it saved me and the kids tumultuous times;

it kept my marriage intact for a few more years

holding on, walking, talking, burning her ears.

she taught me to relax and play more

enjoy the kids, just play and roll on the floor

and be silly and just BE.

And Wayne, why did he leave so fast?

I still can’t accept he’s gone at last!

he was my boss, my colleague,

my dearest friend.

We shared our woes of so many things

relationships, partners and our children, too.

Oh how he was such an amazing dad!

And what a cook he was …a great chef!

feeding his daughter’s umpteen pals

he was the most fabulous dad of them all!

And then he left this plane for good.

My only true consolation is that

someday I will meet them all in that

other dimension…up there or around here;

my family awaits too also near.

We’ll have a bash, a pint of beer!

when my time comes they’ll all be here.

For friendships past and present too,

I’m blessed, I’m rich, and thank all of you.

© Cheryl-Lynn Roberts, originally written on November 3, 2013

Dungeon Prompts on Friendship

What if skies were pink?

What would you think

if skies had hues

of shades of pink?

…and hues of gold
and grey that wink.

I just might miss

those shades of blue

Lest not forget

drops of honey too!

Those lovely summer sunsets

that exhibit mottled sets

of different shades and lovely hues

some greys that take the place of blues.

I’m still in love with blue

you see, I tend to sway

with tints of day

my eyes display

shades grey and blue

just like the skies that bid adieu.

Oh!

that must be why

I stay up late

to see the sky

turn into night.

What would you think?

What would you think
if skies had hues
of shades of pink?

…and hues of gold
and grey that wink.

I just might miss
those shades of blue
lest not forget
drops of honey too!

Those lovely summer sunsets
that exhibit mottled sets
of different shades and lovely hues
some greys that take the place of blues.

And as the sun bids it’s farewell
we see the blues come back to life
and marry pink to make its wife
with just a hint of Honeywell.

I’m still in love with blue
you see, I tend to sway
with tints of day
my eyes display
shades grey and blue
just like the skies that bid adieu.

Oh!
that must be why
I stay up late
to see the sky
turn into night.

She had pink hair

On my way to work today
I listened to the music play
gazing here, admiring there,
reflecting shades from trees
sky looked aquamarine.
Got to parc Alphonse Lépine
saw a girl seated on a bench
so tranquil, calm and serene
admiring nature and listenin’
to music she had on her mp-3.
Hair beholdin’ deep pink hues
looked like it been dipped in fruits
like Pomegranate or raspberry,
looked funky, cool and trendy.
Unusual, yes, but her calm nature
pulled it off quite, nearly elegant!
seemed tall and slim of stature
when I got closer, she grinned.
I asked her if I could take
a photo of her, which just might
inspire me to write.

Her eyes widened, impressed,
flattered , she sat up straight
so she could properly partake
“click” the snapshot did take.
That sure made my day
I really have to say
I walked to work with a goofy smile
I had not really felt
like this in quite a while.
People who are kind and considerate
to a perfect stranger like me in a park,
warm my heart that the city didn’t rob
their genuine kindness away,
or harden them in any way.
Being a small town gal like me
I thrive on human kindness, Don’t you?
This now, restores my faith in humanity.

Photo credits: Cheryl-Lynn Roberts, 2013 – Parc Alphonse Télésphore-Lepine, Montreal, Qc.,

Autumn Leaves

Autumn leaves
that flock the trees
parks are mixed
with season’s pics.

Oh dear I’ll soon be late
but this just, cannot wait
Click click, the yellow leaves
Change is here, I do believe.
I look above, the firmament hue
which forms a splindid backdrop
provides an artist his canvas – blue
Mother nature smiles at her milieu.

Autumn leaves
that flock the trees
parks are mixed
with season`s pics.

Photo credits: Cheryl-Lynn Roberts 2013

Is compassion enough?

it seemed so hopeless
and hard to see the light
walking in the darkness
having lost sight
blind to any likely hope
focus only on despair
not seeing some DO care
that love is everywhere
one may just not be aware
yet…
misery is tormenting sometimes
but still … temporary…
suicide is tragic every time
yet still … permanent!
somehow we must try
harder
somehow we must speak
louder
somehow we must hear
better
somehow we must help
further
somehow we must never
stop trying, reaching, talking, listening
and above all caring.

by Cheryl-Lynn Roberts, originally written September 7, 2013

Photo: deadlygothicdesigns.webs.com

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