Diamond Jubilee Medal – Addendum

At the reception with all those fancy shmancy people (corporate donors, upper management), regional directors along with counsellors, colleagues and volunteers, I was feeling pretty calm. I was allowed a guest, so I had invited a long time, former colleague and friend, Kelly, who I had not seen in years! I was pleased to have her “witness” this moment with me. It was also great to have my best friend and colleague, Maria, receive this honour with me too! There could not be a more perfect evening than this!…until…

It was especially wonderful getting to talk to a volunteer who also was recipient for this honorable award. How she touched my heart! Her daughter had been bullied A LOT and she had taken her life! I felt an imaginary boxing glove sock it to me right in the solar plexus and then tears started filling my eyes. I remember the series of suicides in that area of the country 2+ years ago. It had impacted me the most in my entire career working on this youth line. What struck me were the stories shared in the media and how I had recognized one youth as a teen to whom I had spoken…I felt so guilty and powerless.

Now here I was facing this amazing woman, grief-stricken mother, and volunteer who goes to schools to talk about bullying and spread the word to get help and not take your life. I told her I remember speaking to a girl at that time and how sad I had felt. She just smiled and tried to comfort ME! She kept thanking me for doing the wonderful work that we do on this youth line.

This wonderful woman…this amazing soul, mother, angel of grace deserved this medal more than she can ever know! She has shared her story month after month…she has spread the word that our youth line is an option and she has saved so many youths from taking their lives…so much more than she will ever know. How fitting that SHE received such an honour…The Great Spirit has created some amazing angels of mercy …Pam, this amazing woman and her daughter, Jenna who continues to be a part of that important message…Don’t ever give up…there is help.

And so when I received this medal, I opened the box and looked at the medal and tears welled up again. I noticed how it resembled my step-father’s medal he received from the army for having fought in World War II. And I…an ordinary person like me who did nothing extraordinary was holding this medal in my hand now! How my step-father and Mom would have been proud of me today!

My thoughts went back to Pam and her extraordinary courage for sharing her story with youths day after day despite the pain it must bring to her. How I feel honoured and thankful to have met this woman. For over 2 years I have carried this guilt and fear whenever I get a similar call nowadays. I had not realized how much I had been moved by this tragedy.

If it had not been for my having this opportunity to go up to Toronto, thank you Kathy, to receive this medal…thank you Kids Help Phone, I would never had met this outstanding person, Pam…I accept this Diamond Jubilee medal in honour of your Jenna. Thank you!

http://tech.ca.msn.com/mom-believes-bullying-pushed-teen-to-suicide

Emma, where are you?

Let me tell you a little story that comes from the heart of your Maman and Papa.

Once upon a long long time ago there was a princess in Canada and far far far away there was a prince in St- Lucia. Well, the prince searched and searched for his princess on his itsy bitsy isle in the Caribbean. So off he sailed to the colder side of the world…even the cold was worth it if he could find his forever loving princess.

Hey, wait! I already blogged about this! Okay so

Emma, if you want to learn more about life BEFORE you were fabricated (conceived…gross for a daughter to even fathom)

Check out blog: http://wp.me/p2RsU0-9z and have Maman or Papa read it to you.

Emma, Emma, what are you doing? You are anxiously awaited by so many people but especially by your Maman and Papa. Maman has loved you before even feeling your little jumps and twirls in her tummy.

Yep, and Papa has been singing and talking to you so you could recognize his voice when you finally come into this world.

Maman has felt you knocking on that door to come out many many times and it appears it is either stuck or you have decided to stay in the warmth and safety of this home…Maman’s womb…well, I can’t say that I blame you. You get fed with no effort on your part, you get to float in the warm waters of this home and you are safe…but there isn’t that much room, sweetie…so time to meet your parents now.

You have Grand-Maman and Grand-Papa Savard who are so anxious to hold you too and take you for stroller rides.

You have an auntie that can't wait to hold you in her arms. — You have an auntie that can’t wait to hold you in her arms.

Maman has a soul sister who will be your auntie…boy oh boy, how she can’t wait to hold you in her arms!

You have sooooooo many aunties, uncles, cousins and close friends who will also become your aunties and uncles just counting the days until they hear the news of Emma’s arrival.

Oh, and even Grand-Maman Camille who could not travel from the isle of St-Lucia to see your maman and papa make their vows of love…she has moved mountains (well small ones because they can be just so big on that teeny isle)…and she too will be here to see you when you enter this world.

So, Emma, it is time to leave that little bubble and enter this world of love, affection and compassion. Trust me, Emma, you will, by no means, lack love and attention…dearest, sweetest Emma…Maman t’attend hâtivement…tes parents attendent avec enthousiasmes afin de te chanter des petites berceuses…et des tendres refrains d’amour. Parce-que tu sais, Emma, tes parents sont des grand amateurs et amants de musique. Tant qu’il y a de la musique et de l’amour dans ta vie, chère Emma, il y a de la vie éternelle remplis de bonheur car le cœur chante aussi…ton cœur chantonnera au premier soupire dans ce monde.

Welcome – Bienvenue to this wonderful life, Emma!

Having you here will make this world so much better:)

© Cheryl-Lynn Roberts, June 5, 2013

American Beauty

I was bored on this rainy weekend and so decided to watch a few movies on my PVR. One of the movies I watched was American Beauty. I had seen it before but somehow watching it for the 3^rd or 4^th time, there are scenes that hit me, you know, when you read a book 10 years later or watch a movie when you are in a different frame of mind, different phase of your life?

The part of Kevin Spacey and Annette Bening’s marriage falling apart is pretty clear. It is amazing and yet so sad, how each person is in a different space and oblivious of each other. Wife is dealing with her own issues, husband feels unloved and is bored with his life, daughter is just a typical teenager but unfortunately her parents are both not really present for their daughter…too caught up in their misery.

The part that gets to me from the start is the family next door. I feel for the son with a father so tied up with his “should” and “should nots”. Perhaps the military reinforced those “should’s” but it is sad that each person in that family is so impacted with his toxic behaviour. I had not remembered the ending…wonder why I wiped that from my memory! It just broke my heart to see that!! I guess it is that defense mechanism that I have always had that “forgets” instantly.

I really felt sad but not surprised that this military man was homophobic and again not surprised that he had homosexual desires…but to end the way it did floored me. I would have understood if he would have taken his own life but not this…

As Kevin Spacey narrates in the end, it dawned on me just how short life is and how precious it is…Nite world. Clr

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