solitude (haibun)

Solitude may not always mean sadness, it is simply being alone. Many times it is by choice.  It is interesting that loneliness, isolation, seclusion and privacy are synonyms found for solitude.  I suppose if it is not by choice it can be painful and lonely. However, if it is by choice, it is almost a refuge, a place to breath, collect one’s thoughts…create, compose.  Perhaps when we know of someone who is living alone, we could ask if they feel lonely and not assume all persons living alone are unhappy.  I love people; I am a very social person and love to laugh and enjoy the company of friends and my children. I also love my “alone” time where I can hear myself think.  The silence sometimes screams …those are often my thoughts waiting to be put “on paper”.

Since the passing of my mom, I don’t feel the same aloneness I felt leaving work, walking with a heavy step after a shift…I feel a presence, a shadow that quickens my step, removes a load off my shoulder…I feel blessed…in her grace…shadow of her love.

Walking home
under the umbrella
skies weep

skies weep
souls scream shedding despair
bleeding,
I no longer walk alone
her shadow comforts me.

shadow comforts me
arriving home alone
my cat purrs

my cat purrs
lingers by my laptop,
hushed whispers

hushed whispers
I’m here if you need me
no longer alone.

© Tournesol ’14