Published by Tournesol
A little bit about moi:
I am a mom, a nana, a sister, a woman, a friend, a human being…a youth counsellor, Family Life Educator.
I have been working in the helping profession for over 25 years and volunteered in various capacities from youths to seniors.
Tournesol is my nom de plume for haiku and other Japanese form poetry here at Tournesoldansunjardin https://cheryllynnroberts.wordpress.com I hope you enjoy reading through my daily waka.
I also have another blog "Stop the Stigma" where I may stand on my soapbox now and then and hope it will become a place to drop in and share or comment on issues important to you. In that vein this could be a great way to learn from each other.
http://stigmahursteveryone.wordpress.com
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Tournesol dans un Jardin 
semence mijote
bourgeon en douceur
patience d’ardeur
seulement au moment propice
épanouir en beauté
In French music to my ear!
Translated to English:
1. Literal translation
seed’s up
Bud gently
patience to ardour
only at the right time
grow in beauty
2.
seed’s through
budding gently
patience with ardour
only at the right time
with beauty grows
3.
seed’s through
budding gently
patience with ardour
only at the right time
grows with beauty
4.
seed’s through
gently budding
patience with ardour
at the right time only
will beauty grow
My preference 4.
Please do let me know your thoughts. All the best for 2017,
Mick
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Lovely, the 4th is my fav too…it is the 2 first lines that are difficult to truly paint it as softly as it is in French, that`s why I didn`t bother…after two tries, I gave up, but you did not 🙂
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Had another look at the first line, result:
seed’s sprouted
gently budding
patience with ardour
at the right time only
will beauty grow
“up, through”, both a little to ambiguous in English, whereas sprouting can be applied to anything that grows. French, la germination, even better, germé in/with reference to your original, re syllable count.
semence germé
bourgeon en douceur
patience d’ardeur
seulement au moment propice
épanouir en beauté
what do you think? Your serve. ☺
I hasten to add that my French is not even at a basic level, all the above done via the Bing translator.
Mick
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I`m impressed!! with all your hard work, I finally decided to put an English translation…you truly inspired me.
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That goes both ways, and I am pleased you chose to put a translation up, thank you.
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It was so humbling after seeing all your efforts.
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Appreciated, thank you ☺
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Beautiful tanka Cheryl Lynn
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Thank you, Kristjaan.
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