Poetry ~ Waka
Pearly skies
Angel dust falling softly
On my nose
Pearly skies here
Starlit skies over there
In Kerala
Angel dust falling softly
Teasing mister squirrel
On my balcony
On my nose
Feel the pressures
Winter cold
©Tournesol’18-01-02
Daily moments Jan 2/18. Angel dust (troiku)
I am not much for resolutions since it makes me feel locked in a wish to change a behaviour and when you feel forced, well, it’s like stubborn toddler in me resurfaces and I want to stomp my feet and say NO!!! I don’t want to, so there! And since I’m an adult, NO ONE can send me to my room, right?
However, as I age I feel my solitude, time to think and meditate and talk to myself for hours, days, weeks…I find myself rereading old wise words from yellowed pages of my books. Buddhist thought making more and more sense that I find myself wanting to try. I read over a list of 7 ways to overcome difficult times and posted it in on last journal of 2017 and it got me thinking.
I have had time to think a lot lately. Since December 22nd, I have worked one day and Christmas I went out for our family dinner…That is about what sums up my time off work. I had planned a trip and booked a train to see family for New Year’s in Toronto but my health was so so and did not feel it was right to visit people nursing a cold that would probably get much worse if I did not just rest in my own bed under very warm duvet cover in this crazy cold weather we are having in Quebec at -25 C most days. So I have had a lot of time to think. I have not been writing as much lately either. I seem to think too much and my thoughts get stuck in a dark whirlwind of negativity that it depresses me. My muse is not strong enough to weather that, so I escape by binging on Netflix. I try to read but it takes so much energy to concentrate on any book even if it is great!! This week, thankfully, I started reading The House Without Windows by Nadia Hashimi and finally, I am captivated. It has been months that I have been captivated like that and it feels so good. Granted the book is not a happy story but it is real, intense and about women and in this particular story it takes place in Afghanistan. I fell in l love with stories of Afghanistan and what it was like before wars and takeovers with a novel, A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini. I read his Kite Runner after but that first novel just made want to know more.
I wrote my first poem (troiku) of the year today as well. And writing this feels hopeful that perhaps the storm in my mind is dying down or simmering at least and not taking over of my every thought which influences my actions. I feel hopeful.
Now, the resolution I had been thinking of for the past three days is to take each day as if it is the first day of the new year. You know how some people like to take the first day of the year as happy and positive? Well, I want to be mindful of today…each moment and tomorrow is not here but I hope to wake up and just feel that moment when I open my eyes, I stretch and get up. That moment I pet my cat and give her her food. I want to be more mindful each new day this year. Just like the moments I walk to work and chanting my mantra, noticing the tree branches move slightly and I imagine they are praying too! I want to be mindful like those moments as many minutes in the day and hold my love and compassion in my heart and with each movement. Happy New Year everyone!
For the first time
Looking out the frozen window
A new year
For the first time
Seeing sunlight
My eyes still shut
Looking out the frozen window
Cold snap goes on and on
Since last year
A new year
Looks like yesterday
Different attitude
©️Tournesol’2018/01/01
Written for Linda’s Friday Reminder of Stream of Consciousness Saturday.
December 26, 2017
Family gathered last night for dinner. Was it out of tradition or duty more than yearnings? Some with childlike passion and wonder, some giddy with holiday excitement and one with a sharp tongue dripping with masked humour hurting the target who’s left screaming silently with a heavy heart.
Where has love gone
Forgiveness and bygones…lost
Tales of yesterday
December 27, 2017
Honey, it’s cold outside at minus 19 C with the wind chill feels like minus 27C. Each day since Christmas it gets colder. Nothing to talk about except the weather. She sits in her mother’s rocker with the paisley covered cushions; she tries to write but nothing feels right and certainly nothing filled with holiday cheer. She thought of journaling but same difference, grey tones mixed with dark notions not fitting for this time of year.
White landscapes
A winter wonderland
Outside her window
Lethargy filled days catching up with much needed rest. Sleeping, reading, daydreaming, weeping and watching movies filled her days. Whenever she tried to write, only the pain resurfaced, and so she escaped in her dreams and her stories on the screen.
Cutting the current
In her brain
she finds relief
A winter wonderland
Outside her window
December 29, 2017
Knits her thoughts
wrapped in melancholy
she waits
knits her thoughts
dropping stitches one by one
a new year
wrapped in melancholy
masking old wounds
and forgiveness
she waits
tic toc tic toc
countdown to midnight
December 30th. 2017
Time freezes
Subzero temperatures
For awhile
Time freezes.
Midnight revellers
Numbed with champagne
Subzero temperatures
memories
In perpetuity
For awhile
Until twenty eighteen
A new chapter
(c) Tournesol’17-12-30
Daily Moments December 26th to December 30, 2017
After snowstorms
brisk walks on fresh fallen snow
Renewed peace
After snowstorms
rumbling
Of snow ploughs
Brisk walks on fresh fallen snow
Fluffy and white
Like icing sugar
Renewed peace
Lying on their backs
Making snow angels
(c)Tournesol’17-12-27
[…] “The mirror reflects perfectly; it makes no mistakes because it doesn’t think. To think is to make mistakes.” […] (Source: The Winner Stands Alone by Paulo Coelho)
leaning forward
reality stares back
by the riverbank
leaning forward
searching for a sign
splash of a fishtail
reality stares back
screaming
in mute stillness
by the riverbank
harmonica echoes
ripples dance
©Tournesol’17/12/20
greyness lingers
night-time holds us prisoners
December blues
greyness lingers
looking for a bit of light
shining in my heart
night-time holds us prisoners
soon the day shall pass
pouf!! it’s gone!
December blues
thankful to a caring friend
brightens up my day
©Tournesol ‘17/12/19
Daily Moments – December 19th 2017 – A troiku is a new haiku form created by Chèvrefeuille at CDHK
man dressed in red
pleading with his bell
fish bowl by his side
man dressed in red
arms filled with parcels
people passing by
pleading with his bell
shouting “’tis the season”
empty bellies wait
fish bowl by his side
prays for silent gifts
not the clink of coins
©Tournesol’17/12/10
Haiku Horizons “Silence”
( Fibonacci )
white
snow
brightens
our winters
despite shorter days
enjoying snow melt on my tongue
as I stare agape at the snow clouds in the sky
life
is
so brief
transcending
and temporary
like a snowflake melts on my cheek
and vapours on morning seas vanish effortlessly
snow on my balcony
I rest in the warmth of my abode
wishing I were a child again, rolling in the snow
making snow angels as I stare up in the heavens
snow falls
brightening death
of winter
snowfalls
dressing trees
with white angels
brightening death
adorning mother’s place
snow covered tombstone
of winter
slumber takes over
melancholy hearts
©Tournesol’17/12/10
Daily Moments December 10 2017 – Wintertime
http://chevrefeuillescarpediem.blogspot.ca/2017/12/carpe-diem-weekend-meditation-10-fibo.html
Peering out the window, she sighs with relief. She is an observer today and doesn’t need to join the crowd across the street. All the hustle and bustle in the shops are stressful enough but to add to this, people circling around for too long to find the perfect parking spot. Heaven forbid today she is not working where she would be normally cutting through this lot to get to her bus for work! Yes, she has been bumped by a car before and the man just looked at her as if she was a vision! Last week a young woman was passing through a STOP sign and the lined area where she was crossing…it shocked her as well and she just stopped in front of the car, gave her the “mother look” and pointed to the stop sign. My oh my, what a way for her to start her work day! It actually shook her back to reality and that she must be extra careful this time of year. Not only must she watch out for ice patches or black ice, at stop signs or even traffic lights, there are always one or two cars that whip by as if she had no business crossing the road at a GREEN light!
Now the holidays should be seasoned with love, well wishes and harmony. But it is rarely so for too many. The less fortunate who may have just lost their job, expectant children wondering what Christmas morning will be like and mothers trying to make a feast with next to nothing are some realities too many are living. It is a time of year many youths say how they dread going back to school to hear their peers boast about their gifts and how they can’t wait for the novelty of that new tablet, racing sled or hockey equipment is over so they can feel more or less “normal” among their classmates.
For some may who may have a little more, the pressure is still on to balance all the gifts fairly among their children. The extra cost of food is quite astounding and certainly breaks the weekly budget for at least a month or so. How did her grandmother do this on her meagre old age pension?!
She sighs again praying silently…
(troiku)
wished upon a star
sundry degrees of joy – rise
with one’s presence
wished upon a star
feels a loving presence
warmth drapes her
sundry degrees of joy – rise
family and friends’ warm wishes
watch her grandson sleep
with one’s presence
and another and another
multiplies the presents
©Tournesol’2017/12/10
The Daily Post – Degree – Daily Moments – presents of presence (Troibun)
A Troiku is a new form of haiku created by Chevrefeuille at Carpe Diem Haiku Kai
