Desires of youths is to be loved and accepted, somehow to feel they fit in. One grows into human wants and desires and always co-existing with being loved. And yet, to love and give love is so easy…to hold, to embrace either a friend, a child or a lover but without that affection from a lover, I am happier alone. I can fulfill this desire by giving in so many ways…embracing a crying youth on the phone or a good friend.
My desire to see my children happy and content is still strong although I know it is out of my control but still…and to some day have a two books published of my short stories and poetry to give to my children so they have something of me…speaking from my heart, my soul and in my voice.
morning dawn rousing singing sparrows bid the muse goodnight time to rest a spell before the sun reaches high noon
As early as I can remember, times I just knew I did exist was looking at my mother’s face beam at me. I felt alive and at one with her then. I think that period is different for everyone but the symbiosis was powerful between my mother and me. I never questioned my existence in her presence.
reflection of me in those hazel eyes I am perfect
I am not sure when I felt separate. As I understood more about G-d and The Eucharist (communion) again, I felt connected and not separate. I used to feel a warmth or glow so intense after communion, it made me weep…
if He exists then and only then am I
Later in my adult life, learning various imageries and meditation starting with mindful breathing, I chose two imageries to form one which I have been doing for decades that make me feel free of the clutters of worry and stress …then I begin to exist.
each breath urging through the darkness fuels surrender
each breath
pure air
gives life
urging through the darkness
the spirit
grows
fuels surrender
emerge above the surface
like a lotus
I had never heard of this prayer…Latifa but I have heard of similar meditative affirmations. For days I thought about the entire prayer and tried to experience it. So I looked further and found two sites that explained how to experience praying by articulating these words of the Latifa Prayer:
I exist I desire I hope I believe and I trust I let go I love I am prepared
Our host includes background information on this prayer, here.
I was so captivated by these words that I did a little research myself because I wanted to actually experience saying these words out loud, feeling them from my centre and so I took three mindful breaths from my belly. I took each word and thought about what it meant after reading this blog here which later brought me to the Happenz Blog and then I saw a post on the Gayatri mantra which is one of my favourite mantras I even purchased last year and listen to often on my phone and MP-3.
The one on Youtube lasts for two hours and sometimes I play it all afternoon at home with the sounds calming my entire apartment. I can see my cat is even affected by it. When I found this mantra lI did not know what the Sanskrit words meant in English but still, it lifted my spirit and made me feel a special energy filled with love for Our Creator. I am sure I am not conveying the mixed emotions I feel but it is like wanting to scream from the top of a mountain the love you have for the Divine.
Later today, I read the second post on the Latifa Prayer and realized the prayer is broken down and I was not expected to write a haiku on each line of this prayer. Now I know why I did not always do well on tests…I don’t always interpret the instructions very well.
And so, I am back to listening to Deva Premal chant Gayatri mantra to be inspired…I have the words and translation in my I-Phone which I will share here:
Devi Gayatri
ॐ भूर्भुवः स्वः
तत्सवितुर्वरेण्यं ।
भर्गो देवस्य धीमहि
धियो यो नः प्रचोदयात् ॥
Om Bhuur-Bhuvah Svah
Tat-Savitur-Varennyam |
Bhargo Devasya Dhiimahi
Dhiyo Yo Nah Pracodayaat ||
Meaning:
1: Om, (that Divine Illumination which Pervades the) Bhu Loka (Physical Plane, Consciousness of the Physical Plane), Bhuvar Loka (Antariksha or Intermediate Space, Consciousness of the Prana) and Swar Loka (Swarga, Heaven, Consciousness of the Divine Mind),
2: On that Savitur (Divine Illumination) which is the Most Adorable (Varenyam), …
3: … and which is of the nature of Divine Effulgence (Bhargo Devasya), I meditate,
4: May that Divine Intelligence (Dhiyah) Awaken (Pracodyat) our (Spiritual Consciousness).
Meditate on the glory of the Creator, Who has created the Universe. Whis worthy of Worship; Who is the embodiment of Knowledge and Light; Who is the remover of Sin and Ignorance. May He open our hearts and enlighten our Intellect.
Our host’s contribution:
dervishes whirling
– seeking a higher consciousness
third eye opens
