Poetry ~ Waka
amber leaves
on my balcony
colour my world
amber leaves
on a muddy path
turn to mulch
on my balcony
last butterfly
says goodbye
colour my world
one leaf pressed
in my journal
©Tournesol’17/09/24
Heeding Haiku with Chevrefeuille at MindLoveMiserysMenagerie
This week at Dungeon prompt we are asked to write about one of the more wilder things we’ve done in our life that looks a little out of place when put up next to the rest of our life’s journey. Or take it in another direction and write about our monsters, or demons.
I think the worse monster I may have is self-doubt and questioning my own self-worth. That is not something that family and friends close to me know…more or less. It has its strengths and its weaknesses. In strength it emits humility. In weakness it chips away at my spirt and elicits inertia.
Some things, however, are best left unsaid. Have you ever held on to a deep dark secret for years and finally share one day out of sheer vulnerability? Perhaps you were tired or experiencing too many layers and layers of stresses in your life that that last drop made you spill some of it over. Maybe you were so raw and drunk with grief, it trickled out, only to discover later it may not have been the right person to dump on.
Maybe a priest, a therapist, a minister, a rabbi or a guru are appropriate recipients but is a friend the same? Is a spiritual guide better? Some things seem worse spoken out loud. Don’t they? Fantasies may be harmless until some are shared or acted upon. What about secrets deep inside that may shock your friend(s) or family? We all have demons, don’t we?
rarely share
secrets of the soul
hidden deep inside
life
all its dips and rises
every single day
always try to share
power of your faith
fullness of the heart
rarely share
secrets of the soul
hidden deep inside
most don’t really care
too busy with their dole
mornings
start in darkness
brighten thru the day
ups and downs
a fact of life
taken all in stride
caring is so easy
giving also pleasing
looking outwards
feeling all their pain
comfort and appease them
letting go of self
never share
secrets of the soul
hidden deep inside
dare not to confide
mysteries that confuse
merely cause unease
only wish they’d ask – instead,
keep my thoughts confined
death awaits us all
patient – unassuming
dark before the light
death awaits us all
some may rather choose
not to wait
patient and unassuming
spirits of the night
floating orbs invite
dark before the light
lasting and forbidding
demon of the night
demon of the night
asks not for forgiveness – lures
with empty promise
lasting and forbidding
clinging to the fabric
ripping at the soul
mending seems so futile
hopelessness a trend
dark before the light
demons sweeten my demise
cravings of an end
never ever share
secrets of the soul
hidden deep inside
life
like a valley
days bump in the night
darkness seems forever
climbing insurmountable
never ever share
secrets of the soul
hidden deep inside
praying lifts the soul
defying troubled times
builds protective shields
praying lifts the soul
demons kept at bay
harmless deep inside
defying troubled times
teasing Satan with his fire
smothering it with faith
builds protective shields
containing scents of weakness
fragrance of despair
writing keeps me sane
faith puts out the fires
praying is the same
never ever share
secrets of the soul
hidden deep inside
misunderstood,
hasty revelations may
alienate and scare
judge and jury
etched upon their faces
I shall never share
some secrets of the soul
hidden deep inside
some things
better left unsaid
only He can see
healing with His love
waiting for that moment
drying all my tears
opening my eyes – finally
see His blessed light
best to never share
secrets of the soul
unless through your prayers
© Tournesol’17/09/23
(Troiku)
Time lingers
Caterpillar crawl
My Head hurts
Time lingers
Thunderbolts in my head
Sunshine mocks me
Caterpillar crawl
Patiently waits
My heart quickens
My head hurts
Waiting for the storm to pass
A fog settles
(Senryu)
Finally relief
wraps me in a bed of comfort –
GrandMaman’s arms
GrandMaman’s arms
soothed me as a child
pacifier
pacifier
GrandMaman’s faith numbed my pain,
softened my sobs
Feel so giddy now
pain is just a memory
storm has come and gone
feeling silly
childlike
and free…
but oh, so tired
such power given
that inner storm.
Saturday ends
sun no longer mocks me
until dawn
until dawn
hoping for a peaceful night
rising to a fresh start
(c) Tournesol’17/09/23
Dungeon Prompt – No Matter Time nor Place
Which truth do you hold no matter the time nor place? This isn’t a prompt about whether you believe in God or not, or in science or not. This is a morality question. For example, most of us can say that we believe in the commandment, thou shalt not kill, regardless of religion, but would you be able to stick with that even while witnessing your mother or sister being raped? Would you feel that it was wrong if another person, in that kind of situation, killed an attacker to save someone else? So the question here is, which of your values do you hold so strongly that it wouldn’t matter the time or place? Explain.
Here is my response I have made into a haibun.
This will be a 2 part response to the Dungeon’s prompt. It was the only way I could be truthful to myself.
1- Which truth do I hold no matter the time nor place?
I still believe that God loves everyone no matter what they may have done. I think about really evil people who murder, rape and destroy families and communities and still I am sure God still loves them. Why? Because we learned as a young child, that God is perfect and God is love. I found that difficult to believe as a young child and yet now, I find that comforting to know that even if I behave like a total badass, God will forgive me even if I don’t.
I struggle with forgiving myself more than anyone even someone who has greatly hurt me. They say forgiving is letting go and so it is actually liberating to do so; and still, I struggle forgiving myself. That is probably another story or prompt…loving myself enough to forgive.
2- Which value or values still hold true no matter what?
I will not list the commandments but I know I have broken a lot of them…let’s see, swearing, yep…especially in French and Quebec French uses many religious words when swearing and they have a whole list to choose from compared to the English language, which basically uses mostly the F word. There are so many that they just roll off the tongue especially when driving and getting cut off, I may spew out three or four words in one shot…to give you an example translated word for word I might say “Tabernacle, chalice, host, pyx, sacrament.” Now doesn’t that sound silly? But said in French sounds very different.
This was the hard part of the prompt; I still believe killing is wrong yet, I struggle trying to imagine if my children or grandson’s lives depended on me killing another person, I think that is a no brainer. But is it killing if it is self-defence…defending the lives of innocent people? Still, taking another life even under that circumstance, must be a mix of relief for my loved ones, yet eerie feeling to take another life.
If someone had tortured, assaulted or killed my children, would I want to kill him or her? That I would hope I could let go and let God deal with that person. I hope I would not be the judge and crucifier. I don’t believe killing would relieve me for my loss. How could it? But in the heat of the moment would I react differently? Would you? Who knows really, in moments of crazed anguish.
And then there are those who kill for sport…
hunting season
ducks follow the leader
a killer sport
hunting season
killers toast their kill
trophies hang on walls
ducks follow the leader
if only they would stop
quacking
a killer sport
if the game feeds families
nature may forgive
©Tournesol’17/09/21
in my garden
starflowers bloom
come and see
© Chiyo-Ni (age 6)
in my garden
a butterfly
lifts my spirit
starflowers bloom
spilling over
like a new poem
come and see
Tournesol
dans un jardin
(c)Tournesol’17-09-20
As children and teens they were very close sisters. And then they grew up and life happened. Now they are rebuilding anew since their mother passed filling the gap despite the physical distance between them. Certainly, their mother has a hand in this…
on a park bench
a cool breeze kisses her face
last minute blossoms
a woman walks her dog
butterfly lands on her cheek
both women smile
knowingly
Mom’s paid a visit
©Tournesol’17/09/19
reminiscing
chubby little fingers
building castles
reminiscing
summers in Maine
long ago
chubby little fingers
sifting
magic fairy dust
building castles
make believe kings and queens
in the sand
©Tournesol’17/09/19
Parminder struggled thinking of her upcoming battle against the man who had assaulted her. He was well known and a successful professional.. Parminder was a mere insect caught in the web of this vicious spider. He was there to stomp on her to rid society of this nuisance.
She wept on the phone as she spilled her sadness and anger to her friend. “I am only female! I am a just an immigrant! I am trash that society cannot even look at; I disgust them.”
“Her friend listens.
“How can anyone amount to anything when she has been groomed in garbage since she was born?” She cries for the child who was abused since she was young.
Her friend waits until there is a pause, then responds.
“What about the flower that starts to grow from the bottom of a pond in the muck and rises above the muddy waters, blossoms into a magnificent lotus? Did it not come from sludge? What about the beta fighter who thrives in mud puddles? Is it not admired in Western worlds for its beauty and endurance? The world does not always know where beautiful and resilient people come from.”
There is nothing more precious when two people sharing a moment of grace simultaneously.
butterfly flutters
fanning its wings on her hand,
my cheek tickles
©Tournesol’17/09/17
222 words
This is longer than the required 150 words at Heeding Haiku for Chèvrefeuille but it is a true story about despair and hope. Also since it totaled 222 words and my mother’s numbers were 2 and she was born June 22nd, I knew I just had to share it.
Daily Moments September 17 2017 A moment of grace Haibun
Kim had moved to the big city seeking a better life; major changes are difficult especially in the beginning. She was well aware of that. She felt so isolated being away from family and friends. She was not accustomed to the standoffish air of some city folks making her transition even more challenging.
Up at dawn every morning on her way to work, she would drive by the lake greeted by the sun slowly rising over the lake. Each morning she felt blessed and encouraged, sensing the Great Spirit must be smiling at her.
new dawn beckons
blinding all despair
promises of hope
©Tournesol’17/09/14
Written for Heeding Haiku for Chevrefeuille at MindLoveMiserysMenagerie
103 words
Emma had been walking for hours in the dank chilly night. She had set out to walk off some steam but now her rain boots felt more like they were filled with lead. So much tension had been building over the years and now she felt she just might collapse. There was no way she could diffuse all those years of grief to trickle in a safe way. “No,” she thought to herself, “I just might hurt someone with this pent up misery.”
She found herself in front of her old church, she had not seen in decades …probably for her grandmother’s funeral. Crossing the street, she felt the rain start to pour, and blending with her tears.
Leaning over the railing, the roar of the current was impressive. Would her faith be strong enough to hold her back?
embracing cascades
spilling into dark waters,
releasing her despair
©Tournesol’17/09/14
Heeding Haiku with Chevrefeuille at MindLoveMiserysMenagerie
148 words
Tournesol dans un Jardin 