Reading a list on Facebook of things we Canadians are known for inspired me to write something today.  The 10^th item that says each Canadian has frozen his tongue on something metal and lived to talk about it.  My grandson’s tongue was stuck on a fudgsicle the other day…I told him to spit on it but he was panicking, so I brought him to the sink and told him to let the water run over his tongue and his fudgsicle, which solved the problem with no scars.

I wish someone had told me growing up how valuable my spit could have been under these circumstances.  When I was 7, I was at the top of a wooden slide in our town and leaning over the metal railing, my tongue stuck! It was a cold January day and the kids at the bottom kept screaming to me to do this or that but I panicked and was wailing…so I just yanked that tongue off…OUCH! But you see how well I still remember so I can tell my tale! [Chuckles]  Well, that list made me think of the things I was taught growing up.

Birth to 7 years old:

• Never talk to strangers
• Be nice to your family and parents’ friends
• It is rude not to kiss a family member or family friend back (even if they stink)
• Don’t ever take the name of the Lord in vain
• Never say shit or maudit.
• Always play quietly in the house.
• Jumping is for outside only
• Crying is for babies
• Alcoholism is a disease
• Always be nice to your peers (even the boys who stink and have dirty hands)
• Children should be seen but not heard in the house
• NEVER talk back to your parents or a grown-up.
• Sexy means a woman wearing a tight skirt
• Never use the F word (sure rolled nicely off my tongue at 7, only learned the meaning at 11)
• Don`t chew gum in public, you’ll look like a cow
• Never tattle-tale
• Always obey your parents and elders

from 8 years old to 18:

• Say an Act of Contrition, 3 Hail Mary’s in case you die in your sleep=free pass to heaven
• Be kind to someone less fortunate than you
• You need a man to take care of you
• You can do anything and be anything you want if you work hard
• Don’t smoke in public because you will look “cheap”.
• The F word means a guy who forces you to make out in a park
• Never buy retail
• Dressing with class means plain and no frills
• When the going gets tough, Go Shopping!
• Cleanliness is godliness
• Status is important
• Help others
• Only adults can be depressed, for youths it’s just self-pity
• Going to church gets you indulgences (extra free pass to heaven)
• Praying a novena to Saint Anne gets you favours and indulgences! (yay, more free passes)
• Ambition will get you a nice house and good life
• Count sheep if you can`t sleep
• Say Hail Mary’s if you still can’t sleep
• Never let a boy touch your body, he’ll think you are “cheap”.
• French Kissing might get you pregnant
• Some boys and men cheat
• Prostitutes make the best wives because they know how to please their man
• Having a baby doesn`t hurt that much, it`s like when you’re constipated
• Wear gloves and wool socks in your boots to avoid getting frostbitten
• Sex before marriage is living in sin
• Only leave your husband if he beats you or cheats on you
• If you don’t take care of your appearance your husband might just jump over the fence
• Always please your husband in the bedroom if you don’t want him to jump the fence
• Always dress pretty, style your hair and put on make-up when you go out in public
• Dressing up always makes you feel better about yourself
• Study hard and work hard

What I learned growing up:

 

A beautiful house is not always a happy home.  Money cannot buy happiness no matter how hard you try because it is not outside of you but within.  Love hurts only when you hang on to what was not yours to begin with.  Souls come and go in our lives for a time, for a reason and some just for a season.  Embrace those moments.

 

Not all Fathers know best.  Some men and women can be cruel but don’t give up; their only weakness is being human.  Racism is limiting self-growth.  The only race that truly exists is the human race.

 

Children and youths allow you to relive moments you missed out on.  Children teach us more than we know.  You cannot demand respect from your children if it was not earned in the first place.   Children model more on how you behave than by what you say.  Older children may break your heart at times but it is not about you, they are struggling on their own path.

 

Some say you should work to live but not live to work. What if your work is a part of who you are and what you live?  Gratitude and appreciation triples your paycheck, passionate about your work quadruples it.

 

It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved before…yep, that’s true!

 

Dance like no one is watching.  Love like a child with all your heart.  It’s worth the risk.  Savour those moments and experiences to remember later and perhaps share with your grandchildren. Playing is taking care of your soul.  Praying, chanting or meditating keeps you in the present and stops the worrying.

 

Is there really a generation gap or it’s just priorities and needs differ from one age to the next?  Saying, “been there, done that” sometimes rains on another’s parade.

 

Death is just another journey and it must be pretty awesome since no one wants to come back.

Compassion makes the world turn…be kind to someone today…just a smile will do!

omnipresent beauty
deep under muddy waters
a lotus appears

on the ink black surface
frog on a lily pad

breaking the silence
splashing in the water
a raven caws

©Tournesol’17/07/05

Daily Moments – July 5, 2017 – living beauty (haibun)