Happy Birthday Mom (troiku)

mom
(c)Clr17

a day to cheer
Happy Birthday, Mom!
missing you each day

a day to rejoice
having you in my life
gift of your embrace

Happy Birthday Mom
celebrating memories
touching many hearts

missing you each day
treasuring each dream filled night
visits from you, Mom

©Tournesol’18/06/22

beating to the drums (troiku)

Celebrating on Corn Beads by Christine Sioui Wawanoloath, winning artwork under the Celebrating First Nations category of the National Aboriginal Day Poster Competition. http://publications.gc.ca/collections/Collection/R32-179-2000E.pdf

 

In honour of National Aboriginal Day – June 21 2018

 

BEATING TO THE DRUMS ( A TROIKU)

moved
by the flames
heart of a nation

moved
stories retold
by their elders

by the flames
dancing ‘round the campfire
echoes of their songs

heart of a nation
beating
to the drums

©Tournesol ’18/06/21

Tournesol is my nom de plume – Cheryl-Lynn Roberts

summer solstice (troiku) written for HaikuHorizons – Flame

It is a special week this week. June 21st  – Summer Solstice, as well at National Aboriginal Day – and my mother’s birthday June 22nd…to me also means honouring her life.

mesmerized
all night long
by the flames

mesmerized
looking out towards the sky
shooting stars

all night long
once upon
a summer solstice

by the flames
your eyes dancing
melting my heart

©Tournesol ’18/06/20

 

 

 

Away from home (tanka) & A friend indeed (troiku)

Nature’s friend
Savouring fragrance and calm
On a blossom
An interlude
Away from the cacophony

© Tournesol’18/06/10

Written for HaikuHorizons’ prompt: friend & load

 

With mute compassion
Listens to her unburden
Defines a friend

With mute compassion
In the name of the Father
Hears our confessions

Listens to her unburden
Embracing her in her arms
Whispering, “There, there.”

Defines a friend
intrinsically
Knows when she hurts

© Tournesol ‘18/06/10

Haiku Horizons prompt “load”

 

Dear Emma,

 

I saw a post today on facebook that truly spoke to me. It said:

Don’t bother walking a mile in my shoes, that would be boring.
Spend 30 seconds in my head and that will freak you right out!”  (c) Me vs my Inner Bitch

It is amazing how much goes on in one’s mind when it is idle. Have your ever noticed that? Of course you have! I wonder if women think more than men? I guess that may not be a gender thing either but how much one worries and others take life more in stride, I guess. Here is an example of a sixty something lady getting ready for work.

She presses the snooze button for the third time and lets out a loud sigh. She knows she would have to get up eventually and get ready. So much to do in one day …so much to do in one life. Will there ever be enough time to follow her dreams? And yet, she still does not know what she wants to do when she’s grows up. She never wants to grow up. Living day to day is so much more fun but is it okay in our society. Ah fuck society! she thinks to herself.

She wonders if he would do okay with his new home? What would it take to mend things with her? No matter what she does, she feels she puts her foot in doo-doo. She tries not think of other family members that pull at her heart strings. If only she could shut off that brain of hers sometimes. It is a family trait, after all. Her mother had it, her grandmother too and she and her sister inherited it as well.

She jumps in the shower and feels the water pour over her face and it reminds her of walking in the rain one summer day. Oh that was delightful and the rain was warm too! Her hair did not curl then. She gets out of the shower and looks in the mirror. How did she get here? Why had she been raised to focus so much on appearances when down deep she knew that most people she interacted with appreciated her for her compassion. Maybe compassion is like the perfect foundation that illuminates your skin! Yeah, that makes sense! With a touch of joie de vie on your lips, a hint of passion mist on her neck and voilà, she is ready to face the world.

She turns away from the mirror and gets dressed and puts on her cream, that special cream to hide those wrinkles (which has never done a damn thing but smear false hope from that fancy jar). She must not buy anymore. With the money spent on that she can start saving for another trip far far away. How she would like that!

She picks up her backpack, and walks out the door.

Holding on
Yesterday’s regrets blurr
Hopes for tomorrow
Still, messing up today
Weaknesses of humans

(c) Tournesol’ 18/06/08

Damn summer cold (troiku) Daily moments

Daily moments June 7

Rumbling sounds
Ready to burst
Heaving

Rumbling sounds
Bowling balls
Hitting ten pins

Ready to burst
Opening to the sun
Blossoms

Heaving rain clouds
Like gasping for air
Hear her wheezing

(C) Tournesol’18/06/08

A moment in time ( daily moments June 6 2018)

Butterfly
Suckling sweet nectar
Flowers in bloom
A moment in time
Embrace it or lose it

Billows floating
Fluffy and full burst with joy
through a window
A moment in time
Embrace it or lose it

A newborn
Staring perplexed
his tiny fist

Sticks it in his mouth
Knows not it’s part of him

Watching him, she sighs
Don’t miss those moments
Embrace them or lose them

Daily reflections. June 4, 2018 a moment in time

Dear Emma V – Daily Reflections

Well, Emma, there will not be many photos today as I am on Day 2 of my time here with Amma and her devotees.  So many people.

My hotel room is on the Lobby floor, the first room near lobby and elevators. Oh boy!  I thought to myself upon arriving Friday but also saw a good side to it.  The main events were on the first and second floor and I am on the third, so I thought that would certainly be convenient since I would only have two flights of stairs to use rather than always waiting in line for the elevator.

And yesterday there were so many people, that I was happy to be able to come up to my room for a mini break away from the crowd.  I usually don’t mind but this year, I am feeling a bit overwhelmed with the swarm of bees buzzing and all wanting to get a taste of the sweet nectar of Amma’s embrace. Even just to see her smiling face from afar is a blessing.

I got up early (well 7:30 AM IS early for me!) and considering I had not slept well all night, no matter which side I would turn there was always a patch of pain waking me up.

I went down to the token line (people waiting in line to get a token to later receive Darshan (Amma’s embrace).  I usually get acquainted with a new person when I am waiting in the long line.  Yesterday I chatted with a woman from Oregon.  She has been a devotee of Amma, since 2000.  I am always impressed by the stories about how someone heard about Amma and how they fell in love with this divine and compassionate guru.

There were so many people that we could not sit in the main hall to see Amma during meditation but go in one of the two rooms where we saw her on a large screen.  I was disappointed but at the same time, I knew she was just in the next room and felt her grace.

I came up to my room to get away from the crowd and rest a bit in my room…so happy I can run up here even if it is to get a cuppa or go to the washroom (no waiting lines here) [chuckling to myself]. But I was also surprised to see that I had walked 5km in my entire day including a brief walk to the restaurant.  Wow!  I guess we don’t realize all the steps we DO take in a day. According to my info on my phone, I went up to my room (2 flights of stairs) 6 times X2 to get back down.

 

I went down to the hall just in time as my token letters were up…talk about coincidence, eh?!  I was sad that I could not kneel however, due to my injured knees but the two young men were there on the side the stage facing Amma, ready to shove that bench under my  cushion [chuckles again] and there I was in the arms of this warm and giving person.  She was chatting with her staff so I got to rest my head on her shoulder a good minute before she truly embraced me.  I had given her my new jade and crystal mala beads to bless.  I was so humbled and honoured when she draped the beads around my neck before rest on her shoulder.

Usually after Darshan, we are permitted to sit on one of the chairs on the stage to be near Amma while we process our blessed encounter with her holiness.  There were so many people, I waited a few moments and people coming after me were getting seated…I left, knowing feeling that it just was not meant to be.   I prefered to be seated facing her whether it is close or far, as long as I see her embracing families, couples and individuals…it is a joy seeing her give so much love to others.

As I was making my way to the exit, I could not help but stroll along Amma’s shop and look at all the different tables.  I found a nice bamboo utensil set that can be clipped to a backpack. How cool is that?  Great gift to give! I may pick up a few more, since they are so original.  All proceeds go to Amma’s humanitarian projects.

I was pleased Karuna texted me so we could have dinner together and we walked up to a Mexican restaurant nearby.  It was nice to connect since she is so busy and involved with the programme and frankly with the 25 plus years in Amma’s grace, she knows a heck of a lot of people here.  She is such a giving person and so easy to talk to.

Later in the evening I met Karuna’s son, so now I felt good having also met her daughter my first morning here.  I know I have told the story before, but not on this site how I came to learn about Amma.

Four years ago I was blogging and writing poetry and flash fictions inspired by prompts from various blogs/people around the world.  One blogger/writer/poet at http://www.TheSeekersDungeon.comhad a weekly prompt to write in any form and the topic was always something to reflect upon.  I really enjoyed these prompts giving me an opportunity to be more self aware and write about it…many times it helped me to sort things out.  It was like therapy minus the 100+$ an hour! [smiles]

Another blogger friend and writer from Italy told me he was living in an ashram in India.  Hmm, I found that interesting as I also had a work colleague who lived in an ashram in Toronto.

Later this blogger’s mother who lived in Seattle was convinced by her son, to start a blog at http://www.LivingLearningandLetting.wordpress. com She is a retired psychotherapist.  She also started following her son’s prompts and she and I started communicating, seeing many parallels in our lives…both in the helping profession, both had a son and daughter almost the same age, both married in the 70’s and so the list went.

She mentioned Amma once and I was curious so I check on Youtube to see some videos and was so drawn to her. I could not help but weep seeing how much joy she brought to her devotees all over the world, Japan, Malaysia, India, Italy, France, Germany, Brazil, Chili…well, the list goes on.

Karuna offered to share a room with me if I wanted to save a bit of $$ on Amma’s Canadian tour in Toronto in July. I agreed…I was curious. I normally don’t like sharing a room with a friend…family and that is it but I was so surprised how easily we got along.  She did her thing (which you could see how many people spoke to her and she was always there to help someone as well).  And that is how I came to meet Amma.

Today I slept in late, nursing a summer cold (that may be the reason I am aching more than usual and want to be alone) but better to have that at the end of a trip than the beginning, right?  Also I think a cold forces me to rest more.  I had a back massage last night given by volunteer massage therapists and again, all proceeds go to Amma’s projects.

The massage therapist said, “You are Canadian aren’t you?”  I wondered what gave me away, she said with a smile, “You ended your sentence with ‘eh’”.  Her parents were from Montreal and she was born and raised in Calgary. Another coincidence!! I always meet people who are connected to Montreal in some way!  Wow!

Okay, that’s it for now, Emma. I am taking my time to get ready for Devi Bhava.  I will share a video to explain Devi Bhava so much better than I ever could.  As the hours progress and the lines start to slim down sometimes not until the wee hours of the morning.  The latest I have experienced Devi Bhava to start at 7pm and end at 11:00 am!

 

The ending is a bittersweet time as Amma looks onto her devotees slowly, silently and it feels as if she can see each and every one of us before we pass by her one last time and she throws flower petals on our heads as we rush by her.

I had another massage with a different therapist and although great that she worked on those knots (I should be sailing!) it was a different pressure and I am in more pain right now.

Right after I went for Darshan and then went up to lie down. I cannot sit longer than 20 to 30 mins and my head feels it weighs 100 lbs and my neck cannot support it as well as my shoulders…ouch! So I just went to bed. Last night I was able to sleep from 2am to 4am at which time I was startled awake by people in the next room letting the door shut on its own and that vibrated to my room plus lots of laughter and chatting…so it took a good 2 hours before I could sleep again. I stay in bed until noon and wrote most of this post then got ready for Devi Bahva.  I knew there would be a long line up but I really wanted to be in the main hall and see Amma and not see her on a screen. As luck had it, I entered the main hall and they started to place me at the back and then a volunteer usher asked me if I was alone…yep, so they made a spot about 10 rows from the front in a corner. Perfect!  I was so fortunate!! …lovely blessings like that surely are appreciated.

After Darshan I went back to my room and finished packing, tried to sleep and I did doze off a bit then went back down to the main hall.  I sat for about 45 minutes and my neck and back could not take it. I knew then, I would not be able to see Amma bid her farewells to her devotees.

Left shortly after for the airport and here I am finishing this last paragraph.  I have a flight at noon to Vancouver (one hour flight) and then 4 hour layover and 6 hour flight to Montreal arriving well after midnight. It will  be good to be home…I miss Bette my Best Feline Friend (best feline friend)

Evening Primrose  https://www.google.com/search?q=evening+primrose&safe=strict&rlz=1C9BKJA_enCA721CA721&hl=en-US&prmd=isvn&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwiKz_OsyLjbAhVcIjQIHUDoBOoQ_AUIESgB&biw=1024&bih=653#imgrc=XR8TNQ0V7ESue

 

Twilight appears
Mother scans the crowd
Children in the night

Twilight appears
Like an evening primrose
Hearts open out

Mother scans the crowd
Embracing each living thing
With self-less love

Children in the night
Gather one last time
Bidding Her farewell

© Tournesol ‘18/06/04

Daily Moments – evening primrose (troibun)

Waiting for Amma (troiku) Daily moments

Amma (Mata Amritanandamayi)is known for her embrace but also for her compassion and humanitarianism

 

Waiting
With anticipation
And an open heart

Waiting
Hundreds gather
line of busy ants

With anticipation
Small, big, tall, short
All share the love

And an open heart
They mingle here and there
Speaking one language

Daily moments – June 2, 2018. Waiting for Amma (troiku)

Dear Emma IV – BC to Seattle by bus (Haibun)

June 1st ALREADY!!

 

After a delicious veggie skillet breakfast at the Pacific Inn (oh la la, what a place!) I went outside to wait for my bus. This is the last stop the bus makes before crossing the US border which is 2 minutes away.

The driver asked the commuters, “Okay, this is my last time asking this. Do you have any fruits, vegetables or any fooooood!” He emphasized on the “food” part, I wondered about my delicious aged cheddar in my suitcase with crackers. Oh, dear!! What to do?! I did not want to throw it away since I had not even opened the packages. I saved it for moments in the hotel room at the Bellevue Hilton and if I got the munchies (which I always do at night), I would have this. Time is awaiting, I pondered and did not speak up. What the heck, it is no big deal, right?

As we approached the border and got off the bus, the driver told us we had to see the Agriculture inspector and they would X-ray our luggage. “Oh dear!!” I wondered if they could prevent me from going on my trip since they will surely see on X-ray my munchies!! What to do?!!

Everyone’s luggage was unloaded and we each had to enter the customs office one by one with our little piece of paper declaring we did not have anything dangerous or any food!!!! No seeds, especially not any Ginseng…according to the driver, we have to have a permit to carry Ginseng across the border. Really?! Wow!! Good thing I did not have my MJ Pain cream on me eh? Well, I knew I could not have that but I did not think that cheese and crackers were a big deal.

About 10 people were ahead of me. I kept contemplating. I cannot tell a lie without looking guilty and turning red with lips quivering. Oh dear!! I pass to see the first officer or agent, whatever their title is, they are BIG and IMPORTANT when one must cross the border! He certainly did not smile [I wonder if they practice looking bored and mean]…

Officer: Where are you going?

Me: Seattle, staying at Hilton Bellevue, Bellevue, Wa.

Officer: What is the purpose of your visit?

Me: Going on a retreat.

Officer: What kind of retreat?

I was thinking I should not make any jokes about it being a seniors’ nudist retreat. Perhaps that is not a very good idea. I was thinking of asking Amma for guidance but certainly asking her to protect me if I LIE!! was out of the question!

Me: Um…my guru from India is visiting Seattle this weekend.

Officer: [grunts, lowers his head]. Okay…(he hands me back my passport)

I am sort of relieved but I still had to get past the agriculture inspector

Me: [I can’t take this any longer! I am coming clean!] I do have crackers and cheese in my luggage.

Agri. Female
Agent: That’s just fine, and what a perfect snack on your ride over to Seattle

Me: [sigh of relief…it does pay to be honest…I can’t help smiling.]

I was standing outside the bus waiting for the other commuters to get on and chatted with this gentleman who is from Seattle and was visiting his mother in Richmond, B.C. We got to talking about housing and how the market has really gone up in places like Toronto. I told him my friend in Mississauga was asking $325,000 for her townhouse and she got $625,000 instead. It was a bidding war out there. I sort of wished I had sold my condo in Toronto later before moving back to Montreal. He asks me, “Why would anyone want to move back to Montreal?” I was not too sure how to answer for it was difficult to know what his unspoken reasoning was. I just said, I am from Quebec, born and raised. He said, “But it’s sooooo cold there”. I had not thought of mentioning that today it was 28C in Montreal and it was 14 here in White Rock and Seattle. However, I knew he was referring to our winters. I could tell how we are used to cooler weather as there were several people walking along the beach path I walked this week with ski jackets, whereas I had my sweater wrapped around my waist walking along in my short sleeved shirt.

Okay, now we have boarded the bus and it only delayed us 30 minutes. Hmmm, I must factor that in the next time I travel. We may whine when we go through customs but I sure feel safer knowing security checks all our luggage though.

 

Two hours later, we had arrived in Seattle and the skies were slowly clearing up. I took a Lyft to the hotel and chilled all afternoon in my King Size bed. I really did not want to walk too much today but, for some reason, I thought we were at the same hotel as last year but I circling the hotel and could not recognize any streets.

I finally checked Cheesecake Factory on Google Map and was surprised and disappointed that it was 2 km away…Oh well, up the hill I went and finally turning onto another street, I recognized where I was. I got accosted by a vegan extremist for a few minutes but finally got in the restaurant.

There were more than a dozen patrons waiting in line to get a table. I asked the Maître D if there was too long a wait…nope, not if I am alone and I only waited fifteen minutes. I love travelling alone! I was seated at almost 9 PM.

My intention was to have a salad then gorge into a savoury cheesecake but the Thai coconut chicken looked so good and I did not have dessert but I did have bread. I think I appreciate it more when I hardly eat it. It was getting too dark to walk all the way back so I called Lyft and the ride only cost $3.00. On Google Map the rates are listed for both Uber and Lyft and Uber is a lot more expensive. Interesting!

Being honest
Always pays – and,
Lowers blood pressure

(C) Tournesol ‘18/06/01. Daily Moments